Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
Anyone out there who has fibro and has a spouse or significant other that has ADHD or something along those lines? I find that I am the nanny, cook, secretary, nurse etc. etc. and he pretty much goes to work. We both work full time, and he knows I hurt tremendously but he still is not motivated to take care of himself or his children. It is as though he has not mastered the basics of life. I have asked him repeatedly to get him and his children moving as they are old enough to do for themsleves. Sometimes I get a "we will" or sometimes I get "you are only good for sleeping" because I will take a nap on the weekend if I can. I just say that it is pretty sad that the girl that is half dead does more than all the healthy people in the house. I dont' want them to take care of me but I do what them to care for themselves. I am just too tired to continue to do it.
At one time I had three teenagers and a husband in the house who were all ADD. I hired housekeepers and said the Serenity Prayer a lot.
Take care of yourself first, because if you don't you are no good to anyone. I did go on strike once for a week and did absolutely nothing. It made an impression. They didn't help any more as a result, but at least they began appreciating how much I did!
I had to prioritize and let go of a lot of things that used to matter to me... like putting a healthy home cooked meal on the table, or having a clean house, or ever being ever to find ANYTHING again.
When I just refused to do it for them any more, they learned how to do it on their own. It was a painful process to watch, and I had to let them make a lot of mistakes... but in the end my boys are better and more capable adults because of it. It's called "natural consequences". Oh - and I divorced the loser husband. :-)
Now I don't cook anymore. After many years of doing all the shopping and cooking. My husband and grown daughter share the work. I am resting in bed! The girl who said "take care of yourself" hit the nail right on the head.
Housework is a thankless task and not helpful to our illness. Let things slide. Teach a little about the washing machine, oven and microwave. After a while, without your critique, they will manage to do the work.
My response? "It's wherever you left it."
:-)