Fibromyalgia Support Group
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How do you cope with people in your family (some of them) expecting more out of you than you can give them?
I've explained to several family members that I cannot be a caretaker for my senile relative. They are calling me again (usually I don't talk to them) and I can't seem to stop thinking about the situation.
If I don't help them out, I feel guilty, If I help them out, they'll keep asking for more. And helping them out is really more than I can do.....My limits are 3 hr.total (maybe once or twice a month---an hour and a half of driving plus the same in watching the person--it's of so little help for them anyway.
What they need to do is hire another caregiver---they have the money. Why bother me? Because I'm on disability and am just sitting at home for no good reason?
When I try explaining my situation, I'm dismissed or one says, "'before you start in on your excuses."" Maybe I need a doctor's note!!!
Thanks for listening to this chronic cr*p
I've explained to several family members that I cannot be a caretaker for my senile relative. They are calling me again (usually I don't talk to them) and I can't seem to stop thinking about the situation.
If I don't help them out, I feel guilty, If I help them out, they'll keep asking for more. And helping them out is really more than I can do.....My limits are 3 hr.total (maybe once or twice a month---an hour and a half of driving plus the same in watching the person--it's of so little help for them anyway.
What they need to do is hire another caregiver---they have the money. Why bother me? Because I'm on disability and am just sitting at home for no good reason?
When I try explaining my situation, I'm dismissed or one says, "'before you start in on your excuses."" Maybe I need a doctor's note!!!
Thanks for listening to this chronic cr*p
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I'm alive, I'm sleeping like a rock, and for some reason I wanted cherry juice so that seems to be helping. (??? Weirdo that I am.)***Infamous therapies over history:1. The Attic. The madwoman in the attic is a motif in literature going waaaaaay back: the nutty female relative is locked in the attic. (See: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte for a grotesquely racist version of it, and Charlotte Perkins...
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We're all troubled.WSo, to remind ourselves we're not at rock bottom (this is a reverse optimism thing I learned as a kid):We are not living on the island of Krakatoa when the volcano goes boom!Yeah, okay, that sucks.***Toay in 1942, Pierre Laval announced that the way to free France was for Germany to win WW2. Pierre did not win a lot of friends. When the war ended, quite quickly he was tried...
Stick to your answer, and there's really no need for you to explain. I understand the feeling of guilt, but you have to reind yourself you have valid reasons you cannot be a full time caretiaker. I stopped giving excuses.. and just saying no, sorry can't do it.
And, all of this was coming from my sister and to some degree my mother. I'm also on SSDI. I get it. Don't take their phone calls and above all, don't feel guilty. I did what I could and it took me over 6 months to effect any kind of recovery from the additional stress and disruption to my routine. The fact that you would like to help is enough. You can't and should not do it - your health comes first! Take care.
may e just say flat out you are not on disability because your healthis GOOD, and leave the guilt in the trash, OK? been there, got that ulcer, not worth it!
hugs and strength to you,
leo
The stuff that goes round and round in one's head--enough already!
You guys are the best!!!!