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I'm around and reading but in kind of a dark place. The situation with my in-laws is negatively impacting PD and I. He spends hours on the phone with his mother trying to "help" her dementia by doing brain teasers and such. She thinks someone is "messing up" her computer so he spends hours trying to fix it when the whole issue is that she doesn't remember how to use the software. Then she calls my SIL and tells her that PD didn't help her enough and spends hours trying to get help from her. Then my SIL calls my spouse and spends time trying to figure out how to help "Mummy". That's right, she is the only 50+ person on the planet who still calls her parent Mommy "British version". Super annoying, especially since my husband has been told to call my MIL by her first name his whole life.
My FIL has been mentally ill most of my husband's life. He has never been diagnosed, but you don't really need a medical degree to figure out there's a problem. He is extremely paranoid, litigious (threatening to sue us is a regular occurrence), belligerent, and sometimes physically violent. Although I have been told not towards women, as though I would stand for him beating the hell out of my husband. And now this person has dementia.
As parents they were negligent and abusive. Literally do not know how protective services wasn't called. My husband spent his teen years couch surfing at friends houses and later sleeping in his car. They would have no idea where he was for weeks at a time. They are toxic to one another, but she is a passive aggressive enabler, so it works out? I also suspect he is in the autism spectrum, but that diagnosis didn't exist during his younger years. And now dementia.
So I asked what steps had been taken to get them moved in with SIL? I was told " they are trying to reason with them" and "they just can't control everything". Umm I literally brought home a bunch of Alzheimer's Association literature last week that says you can't reason with a dementia patient and that someone has to take control of finances and medical care! So please send virtual chocolate and cute pet pics. Apologies if some of this is a rehash. I am kind of feeling like my spouse is really under no obligation to assist these folks.
Oh and to take the cake he was told that "Mummy" can't stay with us because the dogs and I live here. So I volunteered to take my fur babies and go elsewhere.
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Welcome to the Perseid meteor showers, the "biggies" usually every year. (The Leonids beat 'em one year IMHO).AND today much of the northern hemisphere will see 5 to 99% solar eclipse. How cool is that? Your best bet is to be in the UK or norhtern Spain, where totality is excellent before sundown. Me, I'll get a super duper tiny itty bitty slice of it, so little that it won't be noticeable. New...
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... observed a solar eclipse.
Big huge hugs of puma compassion.
You can't save PD from this mess. He has to decide enough is enough and place his parents in a facility. If that means calling the authorities then so be it. I'd call an ambulance and have them both transported to the hospital for evaluation. Based on what I know, I don't think living with SIL is a solution. Especially with the volatile nature of your FIL. Neither parent should be left unsupervised.
You do you. If you need to leave for the sake of your sanity - do it. Don't apologize. Vent away. Sending support and a hug.