Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
Hi
I like most of you have had to give up on so much because of this illness, I have been on my own for a long time now, I have made my world quite small so that I could cope better with this illness working part time and not doing anything socially and had got to a point where I was quite happy living this way, I had reached a level of acceptance after a long time with this illness.
I have now met someone its early days but even now am finding it too hard to maintain anything and feel awful for days after I see him as have pushed too much, its brought back all of the feelings of how unfair this illness is how envious I am of others living normal lives and how I want so bad to be well. Is having love in my life too much to ask.
I was honest from the beginning but I don't know that anyone can really get it and know the times I have seen him I have really pushed and ended up in pain or sick but i'm scared to tell him how bad it is in case t scares him off, We are both in out 30's, I know its hard when you get sick and are in a relationship but is it just too much to expect to be able to start a relationship when I am this ill.
I know there are people on here that cannot even leave their bed so I probably sound ungrateful for what I have, sorry for the moan, its just how much do we have to give up on. Its like when I was in my little world and not open to these things id did not hurt so much to not have it, but now I have opened up and seen the possibilities its more painfull.
sorry for the long post, prop makes no sense jut had to get my feelings out .
Thanks
Luna x
I like most of you have had to give up on so much because of this illness, I have been on my own for a long time now, I have made my world quite small so that I could cope better with this illness working part time and not doing anything socially and had got to a point where I was quite happy living this way, I had reached a level of acceptance after a long time with this illness.
I have now met someone its early days but even now am finding it too hard to maintain anything and feel awful for days after I see him as have pushed too much, its brought back all of the feelings of how unfair this illness is how envious I am of others living normal lives and how I want so bad to be well. Is having love in my life too much to ask.
I was honest from the beginning but I don't know that anyone can really get it and know the times I have seen him I have really pushed and ended up in pain or sick but i'm scared to tell him how bad it is in case t scares him off, We are both in out 30's, I know its hard when you get sick and are in a relationship but is it just too much to expect to be able to start a relationship when I am this ill.
I know there are people on here that cannot even leave their bed so I probably sound ungrateful for what I have, sorry for the moan, its just how much do we have to give up on. Its like when I was in my little world and not open to these things id did not hurt so much to not have it, but now I have opened up and seen the possibilities its more painfull.
sorry for the long post, prop makes no sense jut had to get my feelings out .
Thanks
Luna x
If someone is truly interested in you and they truly care about you then they will stick by you thru anything. Talk to the person and try to explain what you are going thru not just physically with pain but the emotional side of living with chronic pain and having FIbromyalgia. I am sure if it was reversed you would stick by the other person. Maybe if you can explain it to the person and give them time to think they will realize that there are many unknowns in life. A person can be totally healthy one day and the next something can happen. I think that with good communication and being open and honest there is a good chance that things will be alright. If not then it is their loss. Feel free to send me a message anytime. Gentle (((Hugs))) to you. Don't give up. He can come over to your place and you can have a picnic in the living room and watch movies and make it relaxing and nice for yourself and order in food and talk and enjoy each others company. I hope that things work out for you. We all should feel loved. :)
I have never tried to educate my partner about fibro, but instead just stated my preferences for a laid back life style (cuddling on the couch with a movie rather than going dancing, getting to-go food rather than lots of cooking etc.) I chose men who were of similar inclinations. Also, a man with a job is often busy at it and tired afterwards.
My perspective is you should be yourself. Pace yourself in the way you need to, and let him know pacing is what you need and want. You will not remain happy with him if you are torturing yourself.
(((Hugs)))
I posted 3 articles for you to explain what it is like to live with Fibromyalgia and or Chronic Pain.
1. "The Spoon Theory"
2. My Name is Fibromyalgia
3. "Love Letter To Normals"
Hope that they are helpful to you. Let me know.
(((Hugs)))
In any case, I think The Spoon Theory is a very "gentle" way of starting off. It may be all you need. I don't think it's as important that he understand the specifics as much as that he understands what you need.
I agree completely with what letitbe said about expressing a preference for a laid back lifestyle. Let him know you like movies at home and cuddling on the couch, not white water kayaking. That might be enough at this stage of your relationship.