I find the best therapy is to talk and share stories with others with fibro, like in a support group. It seems we understand each other and the pain and the problems with living with it better than anyone else.

I don't think there is anybody so mentally/emotionally healthy that they couldn't benefit from talking with a good therapist. It won't lessen your pain, but if you're struggling with the emotional side of it - the "grief" that we all go through from not being the person we used to be, it might be beneficial.

If you're not sure I'd hang out here for a while and see how much it helps to talk to people who actually "feel your pain" in a literal sense and understand, on a first-hand basis, what challenges you live with. If you still feel like you need a therapist, you can make the decision.

Your profile is private so I don't know how long you've been dealing with fibromyalgia or how long you might have been struggling with the life-altering aspects that go along with the pain, but as fibrogram said, I find the best therapy is talking to people who truly "get it."

I saw a therapist specifically for dealing with Fibro. She gets it. She has friends with Fibro. She helped me to understand it was not my fault that I became ill. She helped me to feel better about myself than anyone I have ever talked to before. Go for it! I am glad I went. She truly understood and knew how to get me to understand my own thoughts, fears and judgements I was making on myself. C is the new A! Best of luck to you in your decision.

@ PeaceN@You: I'm not suffering from FM, but my wife is. I try to be as supportive as I can. I massage her feet, her back, her legs, and her hips. I listen and try to be empathetic to what she is going through. I support her in every way that I can .... but I am emotionally invested in the relationship so It is hard for me sometimes to hear her venting about the pain and being powerless to do anything about it but listen. I don't have all of the tools to help someone through the emotional ups and downs of dealing with FM plus all of the other things she has had to deal with. I have my own issues I am dealing with and I have been seeing a counselor to help me through it. I feel that my wife could benefit from seeing a counselor and I have suggested it to her. So far, she has said she doesn't want to do it. I know that it has helped me. Having someone impartial, detatched, and knowledgable lets me vent and not worry about them taking it personally. Plus, I wonder if my wife may be a little bi-polar. I know that there are ups and downs associated with having FM, but I believe she may have more going on there .... I want to be supportive and help however I can.

I see a therapist twice a week. She understands and part of what we talk about is my experience of the pain. I also see her for PTSD. It has really helped to have someone to talk to about it without worrying about how it will effect them.

I see a tdoc every other week. She helps me with many things including my fibro. She used to be an RN so she has offered many helpful suggestions to physically help me outside of meds. I do take meds though.

I've had this for 6 years and started talking to a therpist about 4yr ago. He sub-specializes in people with chronic illnesses and it has helped me a lot. I wish I had gone sooner but I didn't get a dx for two years in.

My spouse/family/friends are intermittently sympathetic but the counselor always is. Some people are just strong and confident enough to deal with this themselves. I wish I was.

You can go to a counselor and stop going if it doesn't help.

Hope that helps

I'm in group therapy right now and that is going well...I start individual counseling when that is over...I can only afford to do one at a time. But one of the group leaders is going to be my therapist....I like her and think it will go well one on one.

It has always helped me to talk with someone who has Fibro. Joining a support group is the best thing I have done for myself. Talking to someone that is in the same situation has really helped. They have given me new therapies to try and suggested medications that I never would have thought of. Thru a suggestion from my support group I tried Amitriptylene and it has really made a huge differance in my pain. It's wonderful that you are supporting your wife thru this. I know that I wouldn't have made it this long without my hudbands support. My husband is going to go with me to my support group so that he can talk to other spouses.
As far as the Bi-polar aspect......The stress and frustration of this condition can change anyone's personality. I have had doctors tell me that I might be bi-polar. Personally, I think that I am just so angry that this has taken over my life, that I go between depression and anger.

I commend you for supporting your wife but please be careful not to push the therapy aspect too much - people have to be ready before it will help - you know it takes a lot of work and commitment to work through your own issues. I've had the blessing of three awesome therapists at different times in my life and I truly believe I owe my life to them - but you have to be ready.

Please also be sure she knows you are not suggesting that it's "all in her head." So many people believe that and it's something we struggle with regularly - it's really easy to get the wrong impression when someone is pushing counseling.

As for bi-polar - there is no "little" - that's like being a little pregnant. It's not an easy diagnosis for a therapist to make and definitely not one for a lay person. Bi-polar disorder is a brain chemistry disorder and will not be "cured" by therapy. It shouldn't be confused with the mood changes that can occur as someone deals with the changes in their life brought on by chronic pain. There are emotions and reactions that are "normal" given the circumstances, and what most of go through is nearly identical to the stages of grief - at times we will experience intense sadness, anger, and other emotions as we struggle to deal with the "new reality."

Having said all of that, I reiterate my original opinion that there is no one so healthy that they couldn't benefit from spending some time with a good therapist. Just please be sensitive in how - and how much - you present it to your wife.

@PeaceN2You: Thanks for your response. Believe me, I would NEVER suggest that FM is all in her head. I have done too much research and read too many posts and experienced living with my wife to not believe that it is a real condition with VERY real symptoms. I will in no way push counseling. Like you, I have benefited from counseling in my life. My counselor has helped me keep the proper perpective on things so I can stay grounded. I, too, believe that anyone can benefit from therapy ... whether group or individual.

It is very hard for me when she is experiencing a flare of pain. I do my best to provide support at those times. As I mentioned, I am happy to massage any part of her body that she wants me too (hands, arms, feet, legs, back, neck, shoulders, etc) to do what I can to help her feel more comfortable. But there is only so much I can do and it pains me to hear her moaning in pain while laying in bed next to her and being powerless to do anymore. She is hyper sensitive to medications and to date has had bad reactions to every pharmaceutical approach the doctors have tried. So she takes vitamin and nutritional supplements, tries to eat right, exercises as much as she can, and takes it easy when she is experiencing a flare up. The meds make her sick, give her crushing headaches, and some have worsened the pain. I'm trying to find alternate methods of helping that don't rely on pharmeceuticals (anti-derpressants and pain medications).

Thanks for all of the responses.

Bigguy - she is lucky to have you. My partner also does the things for me that you've mentioned, and shared with me how hard it is for him to watch me suffer and be so powerless to do anything to really make a difference. Sometimes I forget to tell him how much I appreciate the days when he does all the chores, or cooks dinner, or massages my legs, or... so many things. Please do know that we appreciate you guys so much, and are grateful every day to have you in our lives! I don't know where I'd be without him.

As Peace said ... a good therapist is invaluable for any of us. The problem is finding a good one. I've gone to so many bad ones at this point for myself and my family (my ex-husband and son are both bipolar) over the past 15 years, I've given up. I get more help here than I ever did at a therapist's office, and it's a whole lot cheaper!

BigGuy- Welcome! I can't add much to what others have said.

You asked about alternative treatments.......

massage therapy
myofascial release
accupuncture
water therapy
dual frequency ultrsound
herbal remedies
electric muscle stimulation

are a few. I suggest researching these and not all work for any one person........we are like snowflakes, no two alike and everyone handles treatment differently.

Those of us here have either been where she is at or are where she is at, we get it. She would be so welcome here, as well as being understood.

Alot of people just "lurk" and read for awhile before joining in and others just jump right in. Either way it feels like home for most of us.

Tonna