Female Sexual Issues Support Group
Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...
I don't know who deleted my thread where I asked for advice about my girlfriend's vaginal odor, or why, but to whoever it was - screw you.
This is a followup as to what happened last night when I brought the subject up in the context of a larger discussion about intimacy.
At first, she seemed open and willing to do whatever it took to correct the problem. The discussion was open and positive. I suggested afterward that we take a walk - (she loves walks).
She hardly spoke to me, didn't hold my hand and by the end of the walk, was walking ahead of me. When we got back to her condo, she took a shower and went to bed without an invitation to join her or even a "good night" from her. I went into the bedroom and tried to engage her in conversation but all she would say is, "are you coming to bed?"
I took a quick shower and got into bed but she didn't say a word, move a muscle or in any other way acknowledge my presence. I said goodnight - no response. Finally, after lying on my bad staring at the ceiling for a while, I quietly got up, got my things and got dressed in the other room. My feelings were, "i'm not going to be in a bed where I feel unwanted or ignored."
Finally, from the other room, I head, "are you coming to bed" and I replied, "no, I'm going home." No further response. If it had been me, and had been a misunderstanding, I would have jumped out of bed and said, "honey, what's wrong? Let's talk." From her - nothing.
I said goodnight quietly and drove an hour to get home, arriving last night at 1:15AM.
Anyway, I don't know what will happen, but wanted to thank all of you who took the time to give me good advice about bringing the subject up. It was the right thing to do, regardless of the consequences.
To little Miss editor, or whoever deleted my post, please don't delete this one until the people who were interested in it get the opportunity to read the followup.
And don't worry either, Missy. I won't be in this community anymore. I'm obviously not a woman, but had an honest query because I really cared for the feelings of the person I had to bring this up with. I got some good advice here and again, thanks for that.
This is a followup as to what happened last night when I brought the subject up in the context of a larger discussion about intimacy.
At first, she seemed open and willing to do whatever it took to correct the problem. The discussion was open and positive. I suggested afterward that we take a walk - (she loves walks).
She hardly spoke to me, didn't hold my hand and by the end of the walk, was walking ahead of me. When we got back to her condo, she took a shower and went to bed without an invitation to join her or even a "good night" from her. I went into the bedroom and tried to engage her in conversation but all she would say is, "are you coming to bed?"
I took a quick shower and got into bed but she didn't say a word, move a muscle or in any other way acknowledge my presence. I said goodnight - no response. Finally, after lying on my bad staring at the ceiling for a while, I quietly got up, got my things and got dressed in the other room. My feelings were, "i'm not going to be in a bed where I feel unwanted or ignored."
Finally, from the other room, I head, "are you coming to bed" and I replied, "no, I'm going home." No further response. If it had been me, and had been a misunderstanding, I would have jumped out of bed and said, "honey, what's wrong? Let's talk." From her - nothing.
I said goodnight quietly and drove an hour to get home, arriving last night at 1:15AM.
Anyway, I don't know what will happen, but wanted to thank all of you who took the time to give me good advice about bringing the subject up. It was the right thing to do, regardless of the consequences.
To little Miss editor, or whoever deleted my post, please don't delete this one until the people who were interested in it get the opportunity to read the followup.
And don't worry either, Missy. I won't be in this community anymore. I'm obviously not a woman, but had an honest query because I really cared for the feelings of the person I had to bring this up with. I got some good advice here and again, thanks for that.
Anyway, it sounds like her feelings were hurt. Maybe she needed some time alone to process it.
However, it concerns me that both of you were so willing to take "no" for an answer in that you didn't push to fully clear the air before bedtime. I'm one of those believers in: never go to bed angry or "don't let the sun set on your anger."
To me that is a significant communication problem, even bigger than the vaginal odor problem which is situation and can potentially be easily fixed. However, an inability to read one another's non-verbal cues or to successfully resolve a conflict... that's a deal breaker.
One of you could've said, "okay I'm going out on a limb here, but I can sense that this isn't as resolved as we might've thought. Let's talk about what isn't being said."
By waiting for each other to make that move in vain... well, I don't know.
Someone's got to be willing to be a hero or take one for the team and take that first scary step.
And I wish she shared your view that this is easily correctable. She's not sure it is and, at least for now, has pulled away from discussing it openly.
To me, its something to work out. I want to be the best lover I can be for her, but its not possible the way things are. It doesn't make her a bad person, or me a bad lover. Its something we need to work on. Anyway, thanks all...
I'll report tomorrow..."Film at 11!"