Are you just getting to the point of orgasm and losing it?

That happened to me quite a bit on antidepressants. It would take me forever to reach climax. I would get there and lose it. Honestly, it was the antidepressants. Once I got off of them things went back to fairly normal.

I have never been on cymbalta, but I was on its sibling Effexor. It killed my orgasms. It could be the dosage. Higher doses will effect you more.

Add more for play until you cant stand it or maybe some porn try some thing new! Mix it up really helps.
GOOD LUCK

I have the same problem (minus the anti-depressants).

I have NEVER had an orgasm when I'm with a man. In fact, I've never even gotten to the point where I think I'm close.

I THINK I've finally learned how to give myself one (but I'm not 100% sure..and I've always been told that if you have to say you're not sure if you've had one, then you haven't had one).

So, not sure what advice to give you, but if anyone has some advice for me, I'd appreciate it.

I'm in the same predicament. Although my problem started about 6 months ago. I've been on anti-depressants for 13 years and so I know that can't be it. I've been post menopausal for about a year now and have read that you should still be able to achieve orgasm after the change, but I even noticed a change in the way that I climaxed, like you I'm very frustrated. The libido is there, but not the release. I'm also starting to experience painful intercourse (mild), no lubrication issues (which I find strange in itself). Wish I could offer you some advice other than to say you are not alone, if anyone out there knows something would appreciate the advice.

There is a treatment protocol for female orgasmic dysfunction. It goes by the unfortunate name "Directed Masturbation". I say unfortunate because it sounds like it's about someone being there and telling you how to masturbate, but it's not that at all. It's very much along the lines of Sensate Focus (http://counselling-matters.org.uk/sites/counselling-matters/files/SensateFocus.pdf), but that's designed for couples.

I did try to find a suitable link to describe Directed Masturbation but the only ones I could find were paid-for articles in professional journals. I'll try to write something and make it publicly available, but it's not going to be done soon.

It may be helpful if you can see a counsellor trained in psychosexual issues (most counsellors won't have that training as it's quite specialist and quite expensive). In the meanwhile, adapting the Sensate Focus for one may help.

Good luck.

Sorry, the site broke the link. It should be http://counselling-matters.org.uk/sites/counselling-matters/files/SensateFocus.pdf

I did find a (not very user friendly but free) document about Directed Masturbation here: http://counselling-matters.org.uk/sites/counselling-matters/files/DirectedMasturbation.pdf

I'm still dealing with the same problem. No meds though. I feel like the biggest issue is in your head. As well as communication.
My self esteem and body image are so far below zero. I hate my body and wish I could give him more than fat gross me. I want to give him the perfect woman he deserves. But that kills all enjoyment on my side. No matter how aroused. How pleasing. I can't pass a barrier in my mind. But that insecurity is LESS enjoyable and muffles the enjoyment for both...
I also came with a preset notion that such pleasure was only for husbands and didn't belong to me. That my body was for his pleasure only, not his for mine. I didn't care that I never finished. It was fulfilling just knowing he did. Yet it's been almost 2 years and it can be frustrating time to time. Feeling like My pleasure doesn't matter. Only his. And can feel like I'm just being used and that my needs are out of the picture. Even though it isn't true and he's tried to get me there with no success. I just can't seem to be comfortable and open intimately. It feels like a result of being deeply unhappy with who I am and wishing I were more for him.

I think once you're comfortable and connected with him emotionally and as a person, that ease and relaxation will come.

For a lot of people, I think you're right. Self esteem and body image can have a lot to do with it.

Is your significant other aware of the problem? If you find yourself worried you'll dissapoint him by letting him know, don't be. It may up front, but if he genuinely cares for you, you'll see. The effort he makes to make things nice just for you is wonderful. But he won't if he doesn't know there's a problem. Also, tell him what you'd like from him! It really might feel selfish at first and, but you'd want to know from him if there was a problem wouldn't you? If you weren't giving him what he wanted you'd want him to tell you.

get off the Cymbalta and any other meds you are taking that help with low sex drive ....

Big hugs Kitty. Does your mind go places and you just lose arousal? Do things get rough or are you all up in your head about getting there? Some times my mind gets over stimulated and I have too many thoughts or the sexiness turns into sadness and negative feelings about myself. Most of the time after I orgasm I cry my eyes out. I have never orgasmed with a partner. I would focus on slowing things down and add more foreplay, kissing,touching. If it is just you masturbating I would focus on relaxing and try to stayvin the moment. Focus on how good it feels and don't be ashamed or embarrassed. You will get there in time. Be gentle with yourself.

Hi. I just joined this site and several groups. I am in my 50s and have never had an orgasm either. it is very frustrating. A close friend shared with me about 10 years ago she also was on zoloft but she got her dr to change the script because with it she had no orgasms.
In our family all the women back to grandmas put their husbands (and children) before themselves. Sex was for them (hubbies) Sadly I came to believe that it was dirty and I was ashamed of even thinking about it. plus I also am very self conscious and unhappy with my current body as well.
With all of that I doubt if I will ever hit the big O. (The fact that hubby of almost 15 years has no desire for last 10 and I haven't been touched since then does not help.)
I am thankful for you all sharing . It is good to know I am not alone. PS Are there any antidepressants that don't cause this problem?

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