I keep going over the words in that song--
You can't always get what you want-- you get what you need!
I have gotten support, encouragement and confidence from many. I believe I have also helped and given to others as well. In the end though-- I think all I do is help some guys get off and then go back to their lives, and families. I will always continue to care about and try to help others-- it is just who I am.
In the end though, I hear and see so many moving on or simply otherwise content with all else in their lives. I am feeling like I will never get what I want or need. I have noone to truly open up to- who wants to know and tell me everything he also thinks about. No sex (except left with just toys) and even then-- am unable to quite reach that full blown big O.
I now hear the words from stbx alot-- I love you pookie bear, So very sickening sweet ( and probably well intentioned) .. But as so much resentment has built in me that translates to (Thanks for being my beckon call girl and staying and waiting on me hand and foot) I work full time and come home exhausted and am guilted into doing for him.
Long ago I would feel like I was not entitled to a life of my own. I am creeping back to that point again. Several years back I did finally realize I too have wants and NEEDS -- but it does not matter so much as they are unattainable (in the real world. )
I contacted a man on match who is just in a town a few miles away. He thinks we don't have enough in common to even meet. He just turned me down flat. What is going on!!!!!
Since I met Larry and got to know him, not hearing from him is worse loneliness than before. There are no other men who even respond except the physically needy--for nurses or housekeepers. I am still praying he is just ignoring me and didn't block me. That would break my heart for sure. This is why I don't talk about men in my life. They are so few and so far between. Then they...