Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I love my little sister. Don't get me wrong there. We were pretty decent growing up, we fought less then the average siblings, and we hung out together a fair bit. When we hit our teens we went our seperate ways but still did movie nights, went to the mall together to shop, and occasionally hung out. I got a job and she, well, she was always a bit rash so she went through a spell of smoking, drinking and stealing just to prove she was cool.
Now, I wrote about her before. She was the one with the trailer that she isn't paying her ex's dad for and he's suing her for possibly?
So, her ex, J, proposes to her Dec.24th. She says yes. Dec.27th they have it out and he leaves. Jan.18th and a new guy moves in!!! The one she was cheating on J with. I still talk to J and this pisses my sister off royally but that's another story.
Anyways...the bylaw in my city clearly states there is to be no more then three dogs over the age of six months in a residence without permit. After six months they must be licensed with the city ($250 fine if not) and have a rabies shot ($300 fine if not). My sister KNOWS this but she has four dogs. Her new screw moves in and he brings his. So five dogs. Her great dane....yea great dane...and did I mention she lives in a trailer?, is expecting.
Someone called bylaw on her. So She thinks it's J but he says he didn't, and he has no reason to lie.....hell, if he did it kudos. I've wanted to do it several times.
So she texts me and asks me to take one of her dogs for awhile, I have two of my own, so that if they stop by she is under the limit. Since her and her screw just moved in together they could get away with the other dog.
I said no.
She KNEW she was breaking the law, she KNEW the repercussions and she KNEW that the chances of being called in increased with every person she pissed off.
She lost it. She called me a bitch, a bad family member, selfish. Saying that I was going to cost her thousands in fines and animals.
First off, I bit my tongue but some of my anger escaped. She has a heeler that she has had for years....in the last three years she has bought and sold fourteen dogs. So she currently has the heeler, two pitbulls, the dane and her screws small dog. When she and J were together they bought the one pitbull for him. He has the bill of sale naming him as the legal owner and he is talking to a lawyer but she doesn't know this. So I mentioned just giving him his dog and she said she would rather euthanize the dog then give him to J.
That made me angrier still! So I told her that SHE knew the laws, SHE broke them and SHE can deal with the consequences. I told her talking about killing the dog instead of giving him to his rightful owner was pathetic.
I kept all my anger about the screw aside. That's a whole nother can of worms.
And she just text me back and said 'your so wrong, about everything, thanks for having my back....not. Your bad family and I hope you enjoy taking food out of my kids mouth when I have fines to pay'
GAH! I feed her son two to three meals a day five days a week as it is! And it's not my fault!!
Would you guys take in the dog? It would also make my home life tense and my spouse is adamant she needs to be responsible for her own actions (as I do). I think she needs to get a smack upside the head and I think I have every right to refuse her help.
But now I feel guilty....and I HATE fighting with her. HATE IT. We have always been decentley close and I feel like all her decisions lately are making a rift I won't be able to fix.
Now, I wrote about her before. She was the one with the trailer that she isn't paying her ex's dad for and he's suing her for possibly?
So, her ex, J, proposes to her Dec.24th. She says yes. Dec.27th they have it out and he leaves. Jan.18th and a new guy moves in!!! The one she was cheating on J with. I still talk to J and this pisses my sister off royally but that's another story.
Anyways...the bylaw in my city clearly states there is to be no more then three dogs over the age of six months in a residence without permit. After six months they must be licensed with the city ($250 fine if not) and have a rabies shot ($300 fine if not). My sister KNOWS this but she has four dogs. Her new screw moves in and he brings his. So five dogs. Her great dane....yea great dane...and did I mention she lives in a trailer?, is expecting.
Someone called bylaw on her. So She thinks it's J but he says he didn't, and he has no reason to lie.....hell, if he did it kudos. I've wanted to do it several times.
So she texts me and asks me to take one of her dogs for awhile, I have two of my own, so that if they stop by she is under the limit. Since her and her screw just moved in together they could get away with the other dog.
I said no.
She KNEW she was breaking the law, she KNEW the repercussions and she KNEW that the chances of being called in increased with every person she pissed off.
She lost it. She called me a bitch, a bad family member, selfish. Saying that I was going to cost her thousands in fines and animals.
First off, I bit my tongue but some of my anger escaped. She has a heeler that she has had for years....in the last three years she has bought and sold fourteen dogs. So she currently has the heeler, two pitbulls, the dane and her screws small dog. When she and J were together they bought the one pitbull for him. He has the bill of sale naming him as the legal owner and he is talking to a lawyer but she doesn't know this. So I mentioned just giving him his dog and she said she would rather euthanize the dog then give him to J.
That made me angrier still! So I told her that SHE knew the laws, SHE broke them and SHE can deal with the consequences. I told her talking about killing the dog instead of giving him to his rightful owner was pathetic.
I kept all my anger about the screw aside. That's a whole nother can of worms.
And she just text me back and said 'your so wrong, about everything, thanks for having my back....not. Your bad family and I hope you enjoy taking food out of my kids mouth when I have fines to pay'
GAH! I feed her son two to three meals a day five days a week as it is! And it's not my fault!!
Would you guys take in the dog? It would also make my home life tense and my spouse is adamant she needs to be responsible for her own actions (as I do). I think she needs to get a smack upside the head and I think I have every right to refuse her help.
But now I feel guilty....and I HATE fighting with her. HATE IT. We have always been decentley close and I feel like all her decisions lately are making a rift I won't be able to fix.
calling animal control and getting a hold of J's dog (and giving it back to him) would be a "lose" for you, only because your sister will hate you...........but....then again, if she's so quick to say all those hurtful things, why shouldn't you do the RIGHT thing by getting J's dog back to him?
first, you need to make sure that J has all the proper paperwork to prove he is the rightful owner of the pitbull, because if you call in animal control and he doesn't have the paperwork, the dog will go straight to the pound (and i heard that pitbulls don't get the full amount of time to be adopted out as other breeds).
second, if you're going to leave animal control out of it, again, talk to J to see how soon he'll be ready to receive the dog IF she hands the dog over to you. because there could be a chance that you'll need to take on the dog til he's ready for him (if J is living in a place where dogs aren't allowed, if J isn't financially ready, etc.
and yes. you are very right. this isn't YOUR responsibility. this is HERS. she should figure this out herself.
p.s. after the dog is safely in your care or J's, i would call animal control to just check up on the other dogs in their care...
someone who can make a threat to euthanize a dog rather than hand the dog over to the rightful owner, even if that owner is her ex, doesn't deserve to have any animals in their care (IMO)...
As well...it feels like being a traitor. Blood is thicker then water sort of thing. Whereas I think shes so wrong it fels worse to choose J over her. Sounds messed up no?
Im Canadian and bylaw is animal control. They have been called and thats what started all this! As well our SPCA is a no kill shelter and works with several non profit organizations (I used to volunteer at one) to rehome animals. One group is meant specifically to deal with breeds such as rottis, boxers and pitbulls.
i don't view it as betrayal. your sister's harsh words...is that how BLOOD talks to each other?
my BIL n i got into a huge argument. my BIL ended up telling my husband (his BROTHER) "f*ck you!" over and over again over the phone. is that BLOOD worthy of respect??
also, my husband has a pitbull. he's the sweetest thing. he has tried to play with other animals, but doesn't know his own strength... =( we still love him though. heheh.
if she were to give up J's dog, you could drop the dog straight to J (if he is ready) instead of taking the dog to your place.
but whichever way you handle it, do not have any regrets. you don't owe any of these parties anything. your sister severed that with her hateful words, n as you said, J is not blood.
I have a sister that was, to a lesser degree, kind of like your sister. The very first apartment she moved into as an adult she was evicted from because she had two cats and a puppy, when she was only allowed ONE cat with management approval. She's done some other things over the years that I don't agree with pet-wise, but I have learned it is best to keep my opinions to myself about these things, especially since no lives were endangered.
Yes, your sister will probably be mad at you for awhile, but since you have been watching her children and doing a lot of other stuff for her, I imagine she will get over it eventually.