Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
First off, this is really just a vent. I'm not looking for ways to make it better, that I need to come to on my own terms. And I know that, but if you do want to offer advice I will read and consider it all! :)
I love my almost sister in law. I'm not really married to her brother, but we have been together for almost seven years. I love her like I love my own sisters. We can hang out together just fine, we share problems and solutions, we go shopping, we watch each others kids. We do really get along famously. But her she is SO wishy washy!
She is always asking me to do favours. And I don't mind, because that's the sort of person I am, but she backs out ALOT. I've considered refusing to help her, but that's just not in my personality. And she comes through just enough to make it worth it to help her.
For instance, she will ask me to help her find tickets to our local WHL hockey team. I'll search and search, haggle someone down on price, promise pickup, then when I tell her she backs out and says she changed her mind or she found some and didn't tell me.
Or I promised to keep a mattress for her.....a freaking BIG mattress.....and sent the rest of the bed to the dump. Then after keeping it for over a week and a half and trying hopelessly to get ahold of her she messages me to tell me to throw it out. So I've had it blocking off a bed I need access to and my dresser and now I have to find a truck and pay for dump fees I can't afford!
And then another time she asked me to watch her dog for a weekend, I agreed, her dog ended up going into freaking heat and I have two male UNALTERED dogs then she extended her vacation for almost two weeks!! So she left me with her dog and my dogs for basically the whole heat. It's a freaking miracle we didn't have puppies and my poor dogs had to spend hours at a time kenneled.
Or I had an appointment with my doctor, one I waited months for, and then right before she was meant to grab my daughter and take me to my appointment she bailed, not a big worry. Except by then there was no way I could take the bus and get to the appointment on time. It wasn't her responsibility to drop me off, but she had agreed to it and to watch my daughter, why couldn't she have bailed earlier instead of making it so I had to cancel and now I can't get in again for months!
There are SO many examples. And it's SO hard since I really do love her and care for her. She has alot of issues in her life, she's sort of a wreck, but she's not actively trying to make her life better. She's just coasting along on the oceans bottom and I hate that she can't make a promise and stick to it!
Phew, rant done, thanks for that!
I love my almost sister in law. I'm not really married to her brother, but we have been together for almost seven years. I love her like I love my own sisters. We can hang out together just fine, we share problems and solutions, we go shopping, we watch each others kids. We do really get along famously. But her she is SO wishy washy!
She is always asking me to do favours. And I don't mind, because that's the sort of person I am, but she backs out ALOT. I've considered refusing to help her, but that's just not in my personality. And she comes through just enough to make it worth it to help her.
For instance, she will ask me to help her find tickets to our local WHL hockey team. I'll search and search, haggle someone down on price, promise pickup, then when I tell her she backs out and says she changed her mind or she found some and didn't tell me.
Or I promised to keep a mattress for her.....a freaking BIG mattress.....and sent the rest of the bed to the dump. Then after keeping it for over a week and a half and trying hopelessly to get ahold of her she messages me to tell me to throw it out. So I've had it blocking off a bed I need access to and my dresser and now I have to find a truck and pay for dump fees I can't afford!
And then another time she asked me to watch her dog for a weekend, I agreed, her dog ended up going into freaking heat and I have two male UNALTERED dogs then she extended her vacation for almost two weeks!! So she left me with her dog and my dogs for basically the whole heat. It's a freaking miracle we didn't have puppies and my poor dogs had to spend hours at a time kenneled.
Or I had an appointment with my doctor, one I waited months for, and then right before she was meant to grab my daughter and take me to my appointment she bailed, not a big worry. Except by then there was no way I could take the bus and get to the appointment on time. It wasn't her responsibility to drop me off, but she had agreed to it and to watch my daughter, why couldn't she have bailed earlier instead of making it so I had to cancel and now I can't get in again for months!
There are SO many examples. And it's SO hard since I really do love her and care for her. She has alot of issues in her life, she's sort of a wreck, but she's not actively trying to make her life better. She's just coasting along on the oceans bottom and I hate that she can't make a promise and stick to it!
Phew, rant done, thanks for that!
This is from my own personal experiences; when people show you who they are believe them, you can love them, but still treat them accordingly or else you become the welcome mat and their victim.
Peace,
-G