Family Issues Support Group

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Where to draw the line

squeaker1231
squeaker1231
My niece and her husband have 4 children ages 6 to12. The husband has been having an affair for about 4 years. He has told my niece several times it is over only to find out he had been stiffening her. He has very s parodies work. Niece went to school got certified as CNA about 6 months ago. We have helped them numerous times. Giving them jobs to earn some money. My niece got on one of those dating sight and has meet several guys. Husband continues affair. Freq children are left alone to fend for themselves. I know as long as I continue to rescue them they will not change. Their house is so dirty you can hardly walk thru it. They let their garbage accumulate until health department was called. It is a really sad situation. I know I need to draw the line and not do any more to help them but I am finding it very difficult. We have let them both know we do not condone their behaviors. My niece has always been a bad housekeeper but her husband rarely repairs things that need done. After 17 years of filthy house he says that is why he can't stand to be home. My husband and I have gone through some growing pains but we are Christians and they know how we feel. I guess what I need is support and reassurance as I make this transition from being an enabler to giving tough love. Please help and support me.
bridgie101
bridgie101
A girl at work went and took the three kids of her cousin away. took them home. Said the mother wasn't allowed them back till she got off P (our word for meth).

Just took 'em. Then called social services and arranged things like temporary custody. Got the social welfare payments for them to feed the children. Got mediation. Social services can be incredibly good.

So the parents simply were not allowed the children back till they sorted themselves out. And I think once the children have been taken once, you have made a stand on how your mokopuna are going to be treated. Your niece and her dropkick husband can be idiots all they like, but if they want their kids back, the'd better pull it together.

My workmate had those kids for about three months. they went back to the parents with the stern warning that they would be gone again if there was a whiff of incompetence.

When it comes to tough love, I think that works.
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
You need to call Child Protective Services immediately and tell them that you would be willing to take the children instead of them being placed in foster care. what they're doing is horrible to the children and will scar them forever.
ihaveagirlcrush
ihaveagirlcrush
I am going to echo the advice from the #2 post: file a report with Child Protective Service. You can't change/help bad behavior - SAVE THE CHILDREN. You may think you are doing a bad thing by getting involved but the children are not old enough to (1) take care of themselves; (2) call CPS themselves; (3) ask for what they need;

Do the right thing. Be decisive. You will be a better person for it.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I agree to call CPS.... This type of intervention may just help the parents to sort themselves out and decide what's important in their lives...If not the children will be put in a safe environment.... Big hug for you and a blessing...x
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I think some people have to hit bottom before all they can see is up
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