Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Hi, if anyone reads this and has any advice at all...it would be appreciated.
I am 19 and plan on moving out of my parents house. Here is the backround information: I come from a very dysfunctional family. My sister has ruined us...she is narcissitic and everything has always been about trying to get her to behave, follow rules, etc...She has finally left, but I have a feeling it won't be for long. She moved just down the street and frequently comes into the house uninvited to grab her old things. Lately, she has made fun of my sexuality (I am gay). She is being very cruel to my whole family even though without our help, she would have no furniture or even a place without my parents paying the first month's rent. We still fight daily as a family about my sister, and I am tired of it. My sister has a history of violence (physical) and I also do not want to be around that anymore.
I want to move out to get away from my sister and be able to focus on -me-. I don't want to have to worry about my mom, dad, sister, etc...I also realize that I am a big enabler for my sister. Without me she has no rides (she doesn't own a car), and basically no money (she has no job).
I, on the other hand, have a job and go to school full time. I also plan to move out but my mother gets very angry and upset whenever I mention it. She is like: "I NEED YOU!!!" and says that she want's me in the home during this "transitional period" for my sister. But I feel that my sister will end up back home (because she will probably not be able to afford the rent). I do not want to be home for that.
My mother said she would: "Disown" me if I move out and also, she says: "NO YOU'RE NOT!" when I tell her I am moving out soon.
Also, I feel it would be good for me to move out just for the growing up part of it.
Is it so bad I am moving out:? What should I tell my mother?
I have a place and intend to move there very soon...
I am 19 and plan on moving out of my parents house. Here is the backround information: I come from a very dysfunctional family. My sister has ruined us...she is narcissitic and everything has always been about trying to get her to behave, follow rules, etc...She has finally left, but I have a feeling it won't be for long. She moved just down the street and frequently comes into the house uninvited to grab her old things. Lately, she has made fun of my sexuality (I am gay). She is being very cruel to my whole family even though without our help, she would have no furniture or even a place without my parents paying the first month's rent. We still fight daily as a family about my sister, and I am tired of it. My sister has a history of violence (physical) and I also do not want to be around that anymore.
I want to move out to get away from my sister and be able to focus on -me-. I don't want to have to worry about my mom, dad, sister, etc...I also realize that I am a big enabler for my sister. Without me she has no rides (she doesn't own a car), and basically no money (she has no job).
I, on the other hand, have a job and go to school full time. I also plan to move out but my mother gets very angry and upset whenever I mention it. She is like: "I NEED YOU!!!" and says that she want's me in the home during this "transitional period" for my sister. But I feel that my sister will end up back home (because she will probably not be able to afford the rent). I do not want to be home for that.
My mother said she would: "Disown" me if I move out and also, she says: "NO YOU'RE NOT!" when I tell her I am moving out soon.
Also, I feel it would be good for me to move out just for the growing up part of it.
Is it so bad I am moving out:? What should I tell my mother?
I have a place and intend to move there very soon...
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grill tonight with charcoal.....turned out good but had some stuff that I had to feed to Belle and Happy because it was grissley. it tasted pretty good and was a perfect mid rare....
if i were u, id get the moving truck ready and some friends to help u move the stuff out. then maybe she will see u wasnt kidding. i love how parents tell us we cant move out yet they want us to move out its like which is it?!
why would it be bad moving out? see, the prob is ur listening to ur mother and shes making u think that moving is so horrible. id say hey mom, heres the moving truck and i am packing my shit up leaving. if she screams keep packing, however, if she blocks u from moving, call the police and ask for an escort then ur mom cant do shit.
Moving out is like ripping off a bandaid. Just do it quick, it'll hurt like a bitch, but it will get better sooner. I moved out at 17, and my mother told me not to, and that if I moved out I couldn't come back(I love my mom, she's a great woman, but she was scared of being alone). I moved out, and after a few weeks she started talking to me again, realizing that I wasn't coming back.
It's been 7 years, and I haven't moved back home, and my mother has long gotten over me leaving. Hopefully, if you just pack up and go, your mother will come to the same realization.
I am going to move out very soon no matter what my mom/sister says.
Everyone: Thank you so much for taking the time to read/reply to my post.
What should you tell your mother? You love her and will be there for her, just not in the same house. You are going to start your life now, she had a chance to do that when she was your age. Now it is your turn. Tell her you love her and if she feels she needs to disown you for it, then you are sorry to hear that but you will always be there for her.
Don't kid yourself tho, she's not going to disown you. That is malarky. Don't let that scare you.
Hugs
my mom says she needs me or us yet shes this independent almost 64 yr old woman!