Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
my parents basically don't give two shits about the fact that i'm in my senior year of high school and that i need to study. they will continue to yell at me, yell at each other - even though its mostly my dad. i've talked with my mum and she's started to leave me more alone now which i'm grateful for but it seems like my dad purposely provokes fights with my mum.
for example the other day he wrote a note saying that he'd refuse to unload the dishwasher if she started it when it was half-full (it was literally a ONE time thing so that the dishes woudn't be clogged up in the morning) it just seems as though he just tries to get into a fight with everything he does. like why was that even necessary
i once told him to stop yelling when i had an exam and his direct response was 'i don't care' he refuses to see that he is part of the problem and if we yell and cry we have 'anger management problems and its our mum asking us to do this' yet he's allowed to stop around and yell and constantly make us miserable because 'he has put up with my mum for 25 years'
then he goes on speeches about how you can only be responsible for your own actions. it's so twisted and toxic but i have no where else to go study and i'm stuck in this fucking apartement. i'm doing everything i can to keep my grades up but its wearing me down, i'm getting 6 hours of sleep a night because i can't concentrate on tasks that should take little to no time. i'm constantly getting headaches from stress
he's yelling right now and he just said [directed at my mum'] 'no i'm not going to calm down. you guys are all crazy. you are abusing your children, be an adult.' its so hypocritcal and i have no clue what to do
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
When your dad yells directly at you, look him back and in a very low emphatic voice say "I can hear how much you care"...and as you say that...Mean it (nod your head slightly).
In general people get louder when they don't feel heard. So hear him. You don't have to "agree", but go beyond the "words" to the feelings behind them. In almost everyone, it's because they CARE deeply about something.
Backing someone metaphorically into a corner and telling them that they're acting like a child...is NEVER going to calm someone down.
Understanding...has a chance.
***My son is a senior too. Good luck on your tests.***
i have tried to hear him out months and months ago and he always says he'll try better and then is back to his regular behaviour six months later. as a kid i shouldn't be dragged into the details of my parents marriage no?
i wish it were as simple as telling him that i see how much i care or if it was about understanding it. first of all i have tried that, i've tried to rationalise his behaviour but i can't possibly fathom a way to. not all the time, but sometimes things are black and white.
things like no. no means no and stop means stop. especially if your child is pleading in front of you sometimes crying and telling you that he needs to study.
thanks anyways for the advice. i use earphone that have noise cancelling effect, i play white noise on top of that and put earbuds in under the headphones and i still hear the screaming
It reads like your mom and dad have a way of being with each other that's gone on for a long time and sadly they may not change now
If you're a senior in high school you may be able to move out on your own soon... Perhaps you could share a place with some friends?
Gentle hug..... It would be hard to take....... xo