Big hug for you MA..... Relationships between a husband and wife can be complicated .... No one other than the couple knows everything that's going on....

For whatever reason they've decided to stay together and try and work out their problems

I'm sorry that you're in the middle and hurting..... I hope that there will be some peace in your home soon.......

Another hug and a blessing.....xo

Hi Alice,

Yeah, common these days what you tell here. And certainly your parents should know that you are at a support site with this issue. But what I see is that improving communication is your idea for them, less bickering and more unity. Still, it's your parents duty to focus on family-based matters. I appreciate that you are hoping to get answers or suggestion from others. But if people told you all the awful things married adults experience, it would overwhelm you.

Dad's not going to listen until he wants to take responsibility as a husband and as your father. Mom stays busy most likely out of consideration for you and others sharing the home. She is guarding as a mother usually will do under the circumstances. And working outside the home gives her time to think before she speaks.

Really, there is not much that you can do now. Some useful ideas for you may help though: Do things together as a family as often as you can; Get the family involved in fun activities; ask Dad to turn off the television and spend one-on-one time with you; help with chores; make chores fun; have meals together. You can be a good example by setting a good tone in the home. Sometimes our kids can teach parents family values. Look for those teaching moments.

What's at stake here is that you may not be able to make your parents come to reasonable terms, however, you can strengthen the atmosphere of your family home by keeping happier family traditions on-board and out in the open during these harder emotional times. And if what you tell of your father is a fact, the family goes in different directions in such conditions and it's so easy to lose the feeling of family unity. I know you love your family. Please stay calm now and think of activities your family might find enjoyable. Under no circumstances, though, should you get in the middle of their personal disagreements or find faults with either one of your parents; stay neutral for the sake of your own emotional safety. When flaring temper prevail, have an active plan to isolate yourself until voices are calmer. Perhaps talking with a trusted family member or caring pastor in your church will further help you stay in control. Speak privately with discretion too. Your parents may not want for you to tell all details; perhaps just a nudge for some mature friendly help from those people who are closer to your parents is a good idea. Remember that only your parents can attend to their strong issues and fix this appropriately. Just help them to feel loved and valued as parents. I pray that their relationship will soon improve.

Best and many warm embraces to you,
Remiah <3

Hi, thanks for answering. I honestly didn't think anyone would bother. I am truly touched. I am not sure what it makes me but there is no way I'll ever be able to tell my parents about all this. I tried a few times before this, safe to say familial relationships have never been that great here. So yeah I tried, that was the time I chopped my hair off. But all it did was make them feel guilty and fight more. I am also confused about my own emotions. Sometimes I really want them to divorce, they'll be happier without each other at others I get scared of the thought of my mom moving out of the house because then I'll have to choose. I also worry for my brother. In all of this, he's been my angel, always has been. I don't want anything to hurt him. But I am sick of this. I try not to get affected but I really am sick of this