Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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nohelpnow 05/18/2011

I am severing ties with my brothers and will not allow them on my property without permission and for very short visits to our parents' graves on the property. I am also filing for restraining orders against each of them. so I have an authoritative boundary between them and myself. Being an incest survivor, I have boundary issues as it is. This conflict currently is hurting me very much. I can't take any more.

Has anyone else taken out restraining orders on sibs? How did it go? also what obligation do I have to allow my brothers access to the graves- which they haven't visited in at least 15 years.).

deleted_user 05/19/2011

hi nohelpnow, i think for you to get to this point there must have been so much for you to bear. i know it can help to talk with people you trust but also getting a different perspective from others you don't know. i haven't had to take a restraining order on my siblings but i would like to wish you the strength to get through this. take care and remember to breathe...

deleted_user 05/19/2011

I think the only obligation you have is to make sure you do what you feel is right for you. It might be helpful to consider talking to a counselor if you are not already doing so and discuss your emotions and feelings with him or her. It isn't easy having to deal with the feelings you will have once the restraining orders have been enforced and I think you need to time to deal with that.

If you feel comfortable enough to let your brothers visit the graves then you call the shots letting them know when and if they can as you can make arrangements to not be around if they decide to visit the graves. If letting them come to visit the graves makes you uneasy then do not let them come around until you are ready. Since you mentioned they have not visited the grave sites in 15 years I see no reason to make any quick decisions regarding this matter.

Take the time to sort your feelings out first and when you do I think making that decision whatever it will be will leave you feeling peaceful. Take care of you first before you deal with anything else. Wishing you the very best.:)

nohelpnow 05/19/2011

Thank you WYS and Katie, I needed to know I am not just being mean. I do have a counselor and she is helping me through this. She is very supportive. I have found the people on this site to be very supportive as well.

Thank you for your advice and understanding.

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