Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
This Labor Day I am going to visit my father in Colorado, where he lives with his girlfriend. Him and my mother divorced a few years ago. My mother is very sick with MS and unable to walk anymore. My dad and my brother both moved out to Colorado from Philadelphia a few years ago for work, and my first time visiting was last year. During my visit I felt very uncomfortable with my dad's girlfriend being there because of a few reasons: 1. I believe their relationship may have begun while he was still married to my mom 2. I feel horrible that my mom does not have the same opportunities as she is bound to a wheelchair and cannot even go out without much difficulty, while my dad is loving life in Colroado with his girlfriend who is about 15 or so years younger (so cliche it makes me mad) 3. I feel like the divorce was in part due to my dad not being able to handle my mother's illness. So, last year I did not speak to/interact with the girlfriend much. This year, my dad asked if I will be 'cool' with her because she was "upset to the point of tears" last time. So, to avoid drama all I said was "yeah," however I can't help but remain super uncomfortable. My main problem, though, is I have not yet told my mom about her. I was glad last year when my mom did not ask if my dad had a girlfriend (which she has in the past several times but this was before I knew about her - my dad only told me about her last year even though they've been together for years). I fear my mom is going to ask this year and I know her heart would break. Any advice on what I should tell or not tell my mom? Thanks so much for listening
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I'm feeling down,, and got alot on my mind right now. I got grief going on, on top my depression and anxiety and now I got to worry about somewhere to live since I can't afford living here since my mom passed. So many bad things have happened since my mom passed. One thing after another it seems. Yesterday our fence fell from a storm that hit, had to call someone to prop it up. Thank...
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
You might consider writing your mother a letter ahead of time. Keep it short, but to the point of: that you don't like feeling put in the middle and that you'd prefer that she doesn't ask you questions about the visit beyond "Did you have a good time?"
(That's literally the question I used to ask my 5 and 7 year old kids when they went with their dad when we first divorced.
Well I also asked them if they followed "house rules" (which I didn't want to know what the rules were....just if they followed them.) But you're a tad old for that. ;p
Good luck, Patti
I hope you can have a great holiday with your father.... Seeing your dad happy with someone new is not a betrayal of your mom IMHO.... I'm sure you'd like to see both of your folks happy..... Another hug and a blessing.....xo
The ONLY thing I care about is that whoever he's with, is nice to my kids. That's it.
In fact, if I had to choose, I'd pick someone that they really liked and bonded with. (That's not the way it turned out...but maybe in the future.)