Should I have told my MIL (or should hubby have told her) that her ex-husband (hubby's dad) was going to see hubby, me, and the kids when he was in town? I told her he'd be in town and bringing along his new girlfriend (which she already knew about) out of consideration, so she doesn't accidently run into them. She already knew her ex would be in town picking up some stuff (they've been separated for a year and the divorce was final 2 months ago). She is very angry and refusing to speak to hubby or me because we didn't tell her we were going to go to the zoo for lunch with hubby's dad and the new girlfriend. Mind you the divorce was a nasty one. He was flirting around with a female secretary over 20 years his junior (which he'd done for decades with multiple women). When she didn't go all the way with an actual affair, he put a camera in the women's restroom at the family business. After it was discovered by my MIL, my husband turned him over to the police (he's had sexual issues for years but never crossing legal lines before; suspected sex addict). MIL is now refusing to speak or acknowledge hubby and me. She did email hubby and attacked him for wanting anything to do with his dad. MIL also told horrible stories about the new girlfriend's son and ex-husband both being rapists and in prison (how she knows I haven't the faintest...they live 6 hours from us across the state...hubby and I have never heard about it before). Mind you my MIL is far from a saint herself and couldn't care less about how hubby, me, or the kids are actually doing as long as she has complete control over our every breath. She gets to see the kids at least monthly at work and we went to her house for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and 4 different grandchildren birthday parties at her house for her daughter's kids since the first of January 2012.

Mind you I will NEVER allow hubby's dad to be around my kids unsupervised. I breath down his neck anytime he's with my kids because of his sickness, but feel as long as he's following probation (which he is, being one of his victims I get reports on it from prosecutor's office) he should be allowed to have brief supervised visits a couple of times a year. This is only the second time he's seen my kids since everything happened (the first was in December) and it was for about 1 1/2 hours. I don't believe in punishing people or using my kids as pawns. If he's not a risk to them (he's never had issues with kids...just adult women, the woman he was going after was 33), hubby and I feel he should get to see them with very clear boundaries about 3-4 times a year.

So, what do you think? Am I wrong not to tell my MIL we were seeing him and the new girlfriend? Thanks in advance.