Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I have been on vacation with my adult children this past week out of state and by the beach. It has been wonderful! I was so relaxed and feeling good. But now that we leave tomorrow for home, I am anxious. I return to a battle.
I bought my Dad's property 11 years ago. (My Dad wanted to get rid of the property because he knew there would be trouble after his death with my brothers fighting over it. If I had thought it out, I wouldn't have bought it.) My Dad lives on the property- in his own small house- and I have been caring for him for the last seven years. My brothers bought a vineyard my Dad owned to give him more money for his support. I opted out of that deal as I know my brothers and how they have abused me in the past- childhood sexual abuse and emotional abuse, so didn't want to put myself into a position with them again. I have been helping my father care for the grapes for seven years without pay just because I feel duty bound to do it. I also moved back to my property- what I bought from Dad- seven years ago to care for Dad.
I sent an email to my brothers to let them know I cannot continue to tend their vineyard any longer. I didn't think I had laced the email with animosity, hostility, and judgment. The spokesman for the group disparaged my character as well as my role as daughter and sister.
I am now so agitated about going home tomorrow I cannot sleep or stop thinking about the conflict to come. I am even making arrangements to talk to an attorney to see how to keep my brothers away from me. One brother has farm equipment on my property because my Dad had allowed it. I do not want it there and figure this is as good a time any to have him remove it. I was going to wait until my Dad past so he would not be involved or hurt. But with this attack on me, I've decided to go ahead and start making my wishes known now at least to the brothers- I will let them know they need to keep this private from my father- they said the same to me about their scathing email- I should not let Dad know about it.
But my problem is that I am deprived of a relaxing end to my vacation as I worry and fret about the return to home and the hostility.
I bought my Dad's property 11 years ago. (My Dad wanted to get rid of the property because he knew there would be trouble after his death with my brothers fighting over it. If I had thought it out, I wouldn't have bought it.) My Dad lives on the property- in his own small house- and I have been caring for him for the last seven years. My brothers bought a vineyard my Dad owned to give him more money for his support. I opted out of that deal as I know my brothers and how they have abused me in the past- childhood sexual abuse and emotional abuse, so didn't want to put myself into a position with them again. I have been helping my father care for the grapes for seven years without pay just because I feel duty bound to do it. I also moved back to my property- what I bought from Dad- seven years ago to care for Dad.
I sent an email to my brothers to let them know I cannot continue to tend their vineyard any longer. I didn't think I had laced the email with animosity, hostility, and judgment. The spokesman for the group disparaged my character as well as my role as daughter and sister.
I am now so agitated about going home tomorrow I cannot sleep or stop thinking about the conflict to come. I am even making arrangements to talk to an attorney to see how to keep my brothers away from me. One brother has farm equipment on my property because my Dad had allowed it. I do not want it there and figure this is as good a time any to have him remove it. I was going to wait until my Dad past so he would not be involved or hurt. But with this attack on me, I've decided to go ahead and start making my wishes known now at least to the brothers- I will let them know they need to keep this private from my father- they said the same to me about their scathing email- I should not let Dad know about it.
But my problem is that I am deprived of a relaxing end to my vacation as I worry and fret about the return to home and the hostility.
annieheart
You do not know them any exclamation.How ever tell them you are in the process of making some changes on your property and they need to make arrangements on picking up their farming equipment.If they question you.Just change the subject or tell them you dont want to jinx your self by talking about it just yet.
annieheart
I am sorry I miss typed I meant to say you do not owe them any exclamation.
nohelpnow
annie, that's a good idea. Thank you. I will try that.
deleted_user
nohelp - remember one thing in all of this mess...the only thing you have control of is you, you cannot control or change how they treat you, but you can control and change your reaction to it. Don't give them the satisfaction of letting them affect you. Enjoy your time away, they aren't worth the headache. Enjoy your time with your father, they aren't worth the headache. Let them worry about their vinyard. If they give you hell...well, they arent' worth the headache!!! You know the saying "kill em with kindness?" Well...kill em with indifference!
Join the Conversation
-
grill tonight with charcoal.....turned out good but had some stuff that I had to feed to Belle and Happy because it was grissley. it tasted pretty good and was a perfect mid rare....
