I do agree. A little consideration goes a long way. I am not saying I never have cursed or never will again. It is just nice to be considerate of others.

I totally agree with you. Do me it shows poor character when I see such nasty words used in a post and I know they for surely will use them often with the people they have problems with. Somehow I feel that they are doing it to themselves when their neverending problems don't get better. My motto is "better sane than always right", most people just wanna be right, I am not arguing with people here. They have to make their choices and I have made mine. Peace and Love.

Thank you Annie, and Enchanting; I don't see either of you out here very often anymore and I've had to wonder why that is for yourselves and others that I don't see out here very often. I know for me, I'm tired of opening OPs and their follow-up responses when they're just filled with vulgar language.

It's good to hear from the two of you and thanks again for the support.

Best,
PD

I agree. It assaults my sensibilities to read such potty mouth.

I have reported them from time to time for foul and abusive language.

I'll all for freedom of speech, but do me, that's not really communicating anything!

When I read a post with such profanity, I cant help but to think, is this partly why they have problems with others?

Yes I totally agree with you annieheart. Some come to the board not for "advise" but they want to be right about their behavior and their actions. You could post to them all day long, but they rather work on changing the person they have problems with (and is that possible?) before they change their own behavior. You run into people like that here on DS and in our lives, I just shut my mouth and stay away from them, you can not help them. Peace and Love.

How about when they post their problem and then when you give advice, they shoot the messenger. Sometimes I feel that maybe the other half of the equation is posting their version of the same events on another forum, lol!

Yup agree with you DeliAnnem. they really don't want advise, but they wanna be right. I mostly gave up that's why I post very little. Have a great weekend. Peace and Love.

I've been frustrated a few times when the OP goes on the defense. I think you are both right there. Sometimes the OP just wants validation for their actions but when our opinions differ, WATCH OUT!

LOL DeliAnnem you got that right. I heard the quote: Somebody has to learn how to listen before they can change things". Ain't that right!!

I've had to go back a few times in what I've posted in the past to really review what I've posted and could it have been misinterpreted. Sometimes the original poster needs advice one day but moves on the next so we don't ever see responses from them. Others, well, they want to be validated.

I have to remind myself sometimes that I'm only another poster out here. Not everyone agrees with our opinions and have a right to voice their own. Just leave a little bit of the cursing out so the posts are easier to read.

Enchanting- My grandfather used to say, "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!"

Pd- I think people sometimes confuse the "support" of DS with validation.

I have no problem validating the pain; but I won't support bad behavior. That, to me, would be enabling.

I find cursing to be abusive and indicative of one's low vocabulary.

Hello.

I hope I don't become too unpopular for disagreeing. This is a support group. Any group facilitator agrees that there needs to be a safe space for people (within reason of course).

What some people find to be "offensive" words means honesty and safe space for them to say exactly what and how they feel.

There's certain type of language that I don't normally use and will never use in my posts, but I personally find more important to be able to provide support and a safe space for a person to communicate that call them on their writing style.

I'm not sure is too encouraging for people who need this space, and maybe don't know better, if we start making this type of rules. So far I haven't seen anything that I find languages completely inappropriate for this forum. Please consider these things and keep in mind that:
(1) this is a support group and providing and obtaining support should be the most important thing
(2) not everyone has the same upbringing. Values and principles vary, and what some people find offensive others find not so.
(3) this group may be the one and only thing available for some people. Let's not make people feel unwelcome because we don't like the way they express themselves
(4) sadly, and this is a reality I find difficult to accept, the younger the generation, the less care there seem to be in terms of usage of appropriate language. Let's not discriminate against the younger ones.
(5) If something is written and I find it offensive, I have choices. I can (a) ignore the post and let the rest of the group help that person (b) report to the admins if I find it not complying with the group rules (c) send a private message to the person (respectfully, of course, and in the spirit of providing a safe space for all of us). You don't need to reply to every single post.

I am trying to avoid discouraging people from expressing exactly how they feel. let's not try to impose our own values on other people. If we dislike a post, it's as simple as skipping it.

I hear you, Chris. And as a writer, I try not to impose my Strunk and White snobbery on the lay person.

However, I still think that a person can either say,

1. My mother is being a royal pain in the butt

or

2. My mother is such a f-ing b*thc. (With or without the *)

I find number 1 to be a lot more palatable and will most likely encourage more feedback than the second.

I think it's insulting to not expect better of the younger generation. I teach them, and they CAN write without expletives.

I'm not about censoring; it's about decency.

(Just having a debate; not trying to start trouble!) : )

I'd have to agree with the majority...not to say that chris doesn't make good point (chris does)...but moreso...it makes me cringe to read a post filled with profanity.

reading a post about something really messed up (like abuse) is hard enough to swallow...it takes a lot to read a horrible situation/experience and still be able to make a level-headed, wisdom-filled response that uplifts and encourages...but to add profanity to that already upsetting post? yikes!

In my opinion, profanity should be kept in the journals. people should feel free to post whatever their heart desires there...and I'm sure their friends, who know them better, would be able to read and write a response.

public posts and advice posts should be censored a bit more. as pd2012 said...I don't mind words being rearranged and all...but if people could just chill a bit on the swearing, it would go a long way (and be greatly appreciated...and not just by a few)...