There are many loving functional families out there but there
Are also many messed up non functional families also. I have wished
I came from one of the functional families ever now and then. My
family and my husband's family are messed up. Maybe not as bad
as yours but not good. Maybe talk to a therapist to get some
ideas on how to handle your family they understand the human mind.

I would quit FB and if you want to come back with a new account under another name that only a chosen few know if you want to be back on it

When it comes to drama you don't have to partake..... Simply say I'm going to leave now... or I'm not going to fight we can talk when things calm down

If people are abusive it's important to have firm boundaries and unfortunately sometimes there are people that we're better off not having in our lives at all

If it involves a lot of family and you want to see them perhaps limit when and where.... So it might be okay to go to an occasional family supper for instance ... It's only for a couple of hours

If there are people who continue to start drama you can block their numbers

I know it's hard... It takes time for these things to be more comfortable and it's unfortunate that this has to happen..... There's a lot to be said for peace of mind though..... Gentle hug and a blessing....xo

I refuse to start a new Facebook because it feels like they win then. I just block every time a new one pops up. And its a small city, I would be worried if they couldn't cyber bully me they would find where I live and do it that way. My sister is a meth addict, it's very unsavoury people who message me.

I do my best not to partake in drama but sometimes it is inevitable. When your sister calls your mother a lazy C U Next Tuesday because she won't cook for her or your sister has vanished for a week and you are the one who has to file the missing persons report only to find out She was arrested and now shes mad at you because EVERYONE knows where she was now. When your mom shows up on your step crying because she can't do it anymore. When your 15 year old niece shows up with a positive pregnancy test and needs direction and support and someone to stand by her when she tells her mother. Among other things....my life is very like a soap opera haha

I have cut my sister more or less out of my life. I see her once a week but I don't speak to her. My mother and I shop every Sunday and my sister now tags along. I won't let her crowd me out of the outing....she is trying...because it was something my mom and I did long before her. But I understand my mom can't handle telling her no and the fall out. Real kicker? She is on house arrest and every outing I hope the whole time she gets spotted and arrested.

I have tried to see a counseller but the affordable ones only work bankers hours and I run my own business. I can't afford to close every 2 weeks for a day for an appointment. That would sink me :(

Unlike your family my family manages to disguise it a bit better but I do understand about disfunctional families because I come from one and I often think something similar to that. What I think is that we could have our own soap opera show on tv and make lots of money because it's ALWAYS one soap opera episode after another in this family. So I definitely sympathize, and empathize, with you.
I, also, know what it's like to have family turn on you. An incident, that I won't go into detail about here, happened when I was 13 where I had to snitch on my father in order to save the lives of my brothers( I didn't expect to save my own life by snitching but I did,I fully expected my father to kill me, and I suspect that it's because of my grandfather that I'm alive today.). I had to do this because my 5 uncles(his brothers) refused to come forward. When it went to trial two of his brothers were subpoenaed but managed to get out of that as well. Long story short they chose my father over my brothers and myself and, when all was said(and done) they( along with the rest of the family) ended up treating me like a leper.They( my uncles who spoke not only for themselves but the rest of the family), in recent years, told their mother that they forgave me and they expected their mother to deliver this message to me which she did. To a certain (large)extent I'm still treated like a leper to this day.His parents tried to stay neutral but, even they, were affected. They threw me a sweet 16 b-day party when I turned 16(a very small) one. This was their way of saying they forgave me and they still loved me. It's only been as an adult, and with the help of my H.P. and therapeutic work, that I came to realize(and know) that I was completely innocent and had done nothing wrong. I learned a few other things as well.
I've,also, had to deal with my brothers.They had to testify because my uncles wouldn't and I couldn't because I'd ended up having a nervous breakdown. To this day my brothers consider it my fault that they had to testify and go through that trauma. This is one of the major things they hate me for and that they hold against me. Fortunately, one of my brothers is starting to grow up and come around but, even though he no longer hates me like he once did( or he might not even hate me anymore)I don't, honestly, think he loves me either. Point being I sympathize,and empathize, with you in this area as well.

I said 5 brothers but it was four and I don't know how to go back and erase once something is posted so I'm correcting it here.

Man, it sounds like you really feel stuck. I bet it sometimes feels like you can't take a deep breath, that you are not free. I get that. Our circumstances are different but I often wish I could just leave my family and just be a part of my husband's family. It may sound so silly but it will not always be this way. You clearly have fight in you, you clearly have drive. Owning your own business is no small thing, especially with the people around you not striving to do something with their lives.

everdawnhj, that was a really nice thing to say.. and I totally agree with you. JoleneLS, you are definitely not alone in extreme family dysfunction. I am leaning towards agreeing with the new fb account, OR perhaps better yet, a total break from it. I took a 'break' 3 years ago, and haven't been back yet. I find myself actually completely alone on my healing journey, and for the most part, it's ok. You must know that friends/family that are disgruntled towards others (that they know you also love) in front of you, well.. that they almost certainly do it behind your back as well. They each have their own issues, as we all do, but it seems to me that you are one actually seeking better. It IS really difficult to try to break those chains, I in fact could not, but instead ultimately found them broken for me. After a bit of time away from the drama, I've come to realize that if it will be ok/good for me in the future (to have relations with family), then I will have to learn to set boundaries. For me, that's first requiring who I am apart from everyone. You have a right to love whom you love, AND you have a right to receive love the way you need to. If that isn't respected, then you have a right to back away, gain some strength, and come forward with your expectations solid. It's very difficult in the day-to-day, etc. interactions, I know.. and you may not have the courage to do it initially, nor will they receive it well (they are accustomed to going to you in this way), but give yourself time.. learn as you are.. and you will find yourself standing up for what you believe and yourself before you know it.. =) You got this.