It sounds like to me you have had enough of the troubles that come along with having kids. They call our generation the "entitlement generation". We have had things handed to us on a silver platter. It's win lose situation I guess. If you spoil your kids they get unappreciative and unruly. If you don't give your kids what they want and need they grow up and blame you for all of their problems. I am happy to see that you have drawn a line. Some kids will take, and take, until there is nothing left. But you will always be their mom. They will always need you. Whether it be emotionally or financially. What would happen if they all stopped coming to you for help,and went and found it some where else. Would you feel left out or bad that they felt like they couldn't come to you? I have parents but they have never had any substanial amount of money. But whatever my mom may have if we are in need she helps. Just something to ponder and think about... Sorry for what you are going through at this moment. I hope things get better.

WOW INTENSE BUT I LIKE IT,

i thought about this after i posted i do like it but i dont think i could follow it, my oldest daughter is going to struggle through life, i can sense it, i hope i am wrong and she turns it around we are doing what we can to make that happen but i am not a beleiver yet, and i have a feeling we are gonna help her til she marries a rich guy lol, and i will do that no matter what, so i like what you said but i dont see me being able to do something like that at all.

Mommy once they are settled and working and responsible ,if some thing happened I help them finacially (sp) but I have one right now that needs to grow up He was a difficult child .
I did respite care for kids with huge problems and were in foster care from horrid families ,Ive seen how bad some kids have it ,Mine needs to qute whining and grow up .
Hello Mr. weneed ,Ive read some of your posts about your daughter ,they have a new name for difficult child I see .My son was like your daughter in some ways and if I had it to over I would have upped the discipline tons he would have dealt with the consequences a lot more so he learned to be responsible for his actions ,and didnt always blame everyone else . You cant change their personality but you can keep them in line .I believe in nature over nurture ,some kids just have crappy personalitys .Im sure you have met lots of peopl;e with crappy personalitys ,well guess what they were born like that .

You have to let them go and grow up themselves ,my brother just got his 33 and 30 year old out of the house ,hes still paying for a lot of their stuff .They know theyve made mistakes with them neither child has had a job outside their Dads little business which is not going good and my brother is in debt ,so much for his fun retirement .

well its not a new name LMR its always been there but you add in the other issues that my child has it makes it more difficult. and if your child was truly ODD more discipline would not work, beleive me i speak from experience i hae tried many many many methods and being a disciplinarian is not a total answer, i adapted my parenting skills based on my daughter and how she is and for the most part it has been successful

Good for you !! and I dont mean harsh discipline I dont spank or do horrid things some people would .Im sure you have talked to a professional. I bet my son would have been diagnosed with ODD but when he was little they didnt test for anything except maybe ADHD .
I and totaly believe you have to do things different with each kid because they are all different. I said kids are born the way they are meaning dont blame yourself for the way your daughter is you are doing your best.
I have seen some dumb kids in here complaining about their parents . Thats basically who the open letter is addressed to .I have 4 grown children who are actually running their lives better than me and Dad did .They seem to be avble to save money lol. Kids and parents need to talk ,parents are people too .

actually LMR i can blame myself for my daughter partially when she was first born my wife and i used to yell alot at each other she was always around fighting i feel myself that is half her issue Inlaws were always doing stuff and my wife and i would fight because of them, we dong fight anymore like that or since she was about 3

Aww we are not all perfect ,I would do a way better job ,looking back but we dont have it to do over again .I did respite care and learned lots of technics but that was after my kids were mostly grown .But then I did alot of things right too ,You are doing a good job now thats what matters ,she will know you love her .

I understand where you are coming from... I do. I haven't yet experienced that with my kids being that they are still young. My mom enables my brother, always has and I think always will. Atleast you know when enough is enough. I love my mom but I get so sick and tired of her calling me and complaining to me about him. Like I don't have my own problems to contend with.
He is a single grown man at the age of 26 who is addicted to herroine and can't keep a job. I resent that my mom gives him so much more attention and help than she does for me. I am younger than he is and have 3 kids to take care of. But that is a whole other issue. I truly respect you that you have drawn the line with your son. I wish my mom would do the same...

So, I read and read and read...and while I like your post and the responses you've received I wanted to respond as I am an 'adult child'...and...I am having problems with my parents NOW, not for what they DID, or DIDN'T do..but for their behavior NOW, toward me, my spouse, my kids and it's very inappropriate. I am a strong enough person and my parents obviously did well, because I am able to let go of the things from the past and only be upset about now, the wrongs they are doing now...My parents were not perfect, but I can appreciate what they tried to do. I am fortunate I know because I look back on my child hood and realize I could have become very messed up (I have two siblings who are), but even though that 'would have' been their fault, I turned out good - I have a good life, I am successful, and I have a wonderful family of my own...I have to give them credit for that too (to some extent) because I can't blame them for everything and not credit them for anything...that's not fair...I'm not perfect, they aren't perfect..but, they did the best they could...now, I need to do what I need to do and be mature, grown, and continue on and take care of my family...I can't run to mommy and daddy every time something goes sour...BUT...would I would like, it to have the OPTION to do so...have the mother support that all my friends have and seek...Unfortunately, I don't have that unconditional motherly love...I have the sarcasm and manipulative behavior come at me when things are going good or, even bad. It makes me sad, very very sad when I see my girlfriends' and their moms out shopping, having coffee, going on a trip, etc. because I don't have that, and I can't have that because my mom hates the fact that I'm not screwed up worse, and I don't depend on them like the rest of my siblings (who are all older than me)...with them, it's either YOU need THEM, or THEY don't need YOU....they want want want...and if we don't DO, they get mad...and let me know when they are mad...Sorry for such a long, drawn out post...I hope that your daughter quits blaming you and starts to credit you for what you did do, when you had to....I hope she realizes she is a grown woman, and needs to take responsibility for herself, her family, her future...it's no longer your life, you gave her the tools to be successful, and that is what she is expected to do - live her life...She can blame you for what happened in her childhood that she didn't LIKE...but now that she is a grown woman, GROW UP just like you said and take charge of her own life...

Aww you are such a sweet girl. There are all kinds of parents out there .Ive seen the ones who try to keep their child tied to their aprons strings by manipulating and guilt .Its so hard when you want a motherly Mom. I do support the kids with love and babysitting and I love going shopping ,Id adopt you lol .My son when hes in the country invites us to the bach or zoo whatever with them.Ill babysit for my son but not the DIL she wanted to go away with her Mom she asked I said NO. Ive done enough for her and I still feel where the knife went in my back .Personalities are alot to do with parenting and children sometimes you get crappy parents .Ibet they love you tons but they just dont have the parenting instinct,and you raised the same as your siblings turned out good because you have a strong personality. I hope you have a wonderful life ,you deserve it !!

Rose that is so beautiful !! I had to roll on the floor laughing at the judge Judy bit cause thats what my hubby calls me !! I just tell him Id take her on anyday!!
I am going to tell the kids I love them and Im proud of them all the time .I lost my Mama years ago and my MIL I miss them everyday !!

LMR this must make me truly sad but i miss our buddy yelling at us, where did she go lol

omg this is funny. was this patten after my post? kinda looks like it. not our fault that us adult kids r laid off and r struggling. then u parents get mad if ur daughters go stripping just to put a roof over their heads and food in their tummies its hypocritical when u tell us to get a job and we end up doing that. nobody says being an adult is easy, u parents came from a generation of cheap living and there were jobs. us adult kids came from a generation where inflation is high being run by crooks! i swear we cant live up to parents' standards anymore....