Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I had a meltdown last night and I cried for hours. I couldn't even get to sleep because of it.
My husband and I have our ups and downs. But lately he's been so selfish. That's what I think anyway... He doesn't take me or the kids into consideration at all. I feel like I am the only one doing EVERYTHING and I mean everything in our relationship, financially, and with the kids. He does work but when he gets paid it goes on his habit. He just sits on his chair and watches TV. Doesn't help with the kids or cleaning. Gets mad at the kids for trying to play or wanting his attention. Here I am trying to do everything and be there for all three of them to try to give them their individually time that they need and want. But I can't do it all.
I find myself asking what is the point in even being in this marriage. What is the point in trying to make it work. I have voiced my concerns several times and he helps out and does good for 2 weeks and goes right back to being himself.
We have a car that I pay for and I never get to use it. I have errands to run and appointments I need to get to and it's a big inconvenience for him to come get me or bring the car to me. Not to mention it's breaking down and I am the one that has to fix it.
I'm going out of my mind here.... Sometimes I find myself asking myself if I should file for a divorce because I'm tired of trying and I hate that because I am not a quitter.... I need help or something.
My husband and I have our ups and downs. But lately he's been so selfish. That's what I think anyway... He doesn't take me or the kids into consideration at all. I feel like I am the only one doing EVERYTHING and I mean everything in our relationship, financially, and with the kids. He does work but when he gets paid it goes on his habit. He just sits on his chair and watches TV. Doesn't help with the kids or cleaning. Gets mad at the kids for trying to play or wanting his attention. Here I am trying to do everything and be there for all three of them to try to give them their individually time that they need and want. But I can't do it all.
I find myself asking what is the point in even being in this marriage. What is the point in trying to make it work. I have voiced my concerns several times and he helps out and does good for 2 weeks and goes right back to being himself.
We have a car that I pay for and I never get to use it. I have errands to run and appointments I need to get to and it's a big inconvenience for him to come get me or bring the car to me. Not to mention it's breaking down and I am the one that has to fix it.
I'm going out of my mind here.... Sometimes I find myself asking myself if I should file for a divorce because I'm tired of trying and I hate that because I am not a quitter.... I need help or something.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I would have it written down or write it with him... What days he gets the car and what days you do... What chores are yours and what chores will be his and leave them for him to do!!!
If you have been contemplating divorce maybe he needs to hear that... Not as a threat but to let him know that you are this unhappy... Another hug and a blessing...xo
I've left it all for him to do and it got left for almost 2 weeks until I done it.
I'm considering taking my babies and just taking off for the weekend. Maybe it will open his eyes to not having us at all.
You need to do what's best for you but at the end of the day he's a father and he needs to take on that responsibility and help a bit more.
Maybe try relationship counselling or arrange a day, maybe a Saturday or when he's not working, where he has to take one of the children out for some quality father, child time and the children take it in turns to spend 1:1 time with daddy. Once he gets confident having one on his own then get him to arrange a day out with all of them. He needs to learn to love his kids and appreciate them and in turn appreciate everything you are doing. Parenting is hard, he needs to realise that and do his fair share.
I'm getting vibes that you really mean addiction???
I 100% support SunCloud's suggestion. He needs a wake up call. It's not in your best interest nor is it in your husband's best interest to keep enabling his behavior. It's time for a decision and stick to it.
Easier said than done though but it can be achieved.
Sorry to hear about your frustrations! I have close friend who opened up to me about her husband's alcohol addiction. Similarly, she was the one who had to do most of the chores and help the kids, whereas the husband would work and then do his own thing.
In her situation, she did leave temporarily after his alcohol abuse got to a scary/verbally abusive level. She went to stay with her mother. I'm not sure for how long, but this was after talking to him many times.
It is always worth trying to continue to talk with your spouse about your concerns. It may help to set up a time for him to have the kids, one on one, and make a "dad day" a special day every few weeks.
Have you suggested family therapy?
I'll put up a link to an "Intervention" on Alcoholism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So64wDv0mlg
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Families-and-Friends-Of-Addicts/support-group
pd2012 and lady thank you so much. I put my foot down and I'm tired of it.
In our mild argument yesterday he tried several times to make everything my fault and switch words around to make me a bad person but I'm not stupid. I know how to manipulate ppl and all that stuff too.
& please don't make any more children with the creep you call a "husband".
I wish you all well in the future. Really. I've been there, got out, and can look back grateful i overcame my fears and left bad associations when i had to. I can't even imagine being anything but dead by now if i hadn't had left, and have no clue as to what would have happened to my children had i died or gone mad before they were raised.
GL!
With some long talks and long glances back at life and how it was and where it could be he has since changed his ways. It's been almost 2 months and he has picked up his end of the deal and I have made some changes as well.
We both spend a great deal of our time with each of the kids and we also take time to be with each other. He has quit his habit and realized that we are his life and does not want to lose us.
Because should it start back up again the door is not far for me to walk out and take the kids with me.
Thank you guys for all your words and encouragement. I do still hold your words close to me. I know the change is still early on yet but it is working.
@Reelin4real: I just anted to let you know that I am unable to have children anymore so I will not have to worry about that. This is the reason why I decided my 11 month old is the last. Thank you I do know what I am worth and what my children are worth.