Hey, I grew up with these types of issues, too. It wasn't just my parents, either - practically everyone in my extended family blatantly favored my brother. From what I see, I'm also about twice your age, and guess what?

Everyone in my family still pretty blatantly favors my brother.

The sad part is that pretty much nothing is going to change that. You can't control what your father does or says or feels. We often forget that our parents are people and we are still people to them, and some people just don't get along. Even if they are related, even as closely related as parent-child.

It's also easy to forget, in your sorrow, that you are not an extension of your parents. You are your own person with your own thoughts, dreams, feelings, desires, ambitions, fears, doubts, triumphs, successes, loves, hates, and everything in between. And you're almost a legal adult, which means you have power over who you want to be.

Your father does not determine your worth and his preference for your sister is not an indication that she is more valuable than you are.

It's hard to swallow this, especially when you're still in the middle of it. My brother can act like a complete asshole but if he's right in front of her (and sometimes even if he's not) my mother will defend him. Sometimes I think he could stab me in the stomach and my mother would figure out a way to defend him.

You're not alone. You're doing well by reaching out and looking for someone to talk to. I wish I'd had that when I was your age!

It's nice to here that I'm not the only one in the world who has gone/ is going through all this. Thank you for the advice, I'll try to keep it in mind.

My main concern however, isn't even myself. It's my younger brother. He's eleven and he's not blind to the preferential treatment that my sister gets. My dad's always been harder on my brother and I in general but my younger brother gets yelled at for the smallest of things.

I try to take the attention off him the best that I can so that he gets spared from my father's wrath but I can't always be there for him. I have no clue how to help him either.

I'm so sorry that you've been hurt by your father..... You mentioned your fathers' wrath??

If you think your father is being abusive you can talk to an authority figure....a teacher, guidance counsellor

Where is your mom during these times??

I think he's being emotionally abusive but it's not as though you can prove that to anyone.

My mum is there and she tries to stop my father. But he tells her that she's acting childish, has anger issues and is abusing us (though I think he's just projecting his own issues onto my mum)

she does the best she can. and she's working with lawyers and stuff to try and get divorced with my dad. things are complicated however because we live abroad due to my father's job and my mum isn't able to work and thus doesn't have financial means to support us (my dad has threatened multiple times to cut her credit card off) so it's likely to be another 6 months before we can get away

It sux tower...... I think a lot of this comes from within your dad.... It's not to do with anything outside meaning any other person

He has a bad temper and lashes out it sounds like because he feels he can

My father was much like that as well and it hurts a great deal.... I'm really sorry that you're going through this

Have you ever told him that it hurts you a great deal when he lashes out?

DS is a good site.... I'm glad that you're here.....xo

Thank you so much for all your kind words. It means a lot and it does give me a rush of warmth to know that I'm not the only one who has/is going through this.

My siblings and I have all numerous times been crying and pleading with him to stop screaming or harassing my Mum. He always ignores us and continues to yell telling us that we need to hear the issues between him and my Mum.

I have told him on times when he was calm but he would talk over me, refuse to hear my side and say that what i felt was false. I just get through it by counting down the months until i can leave home.

((( towersofgold)))

I, too, counted down the days until I could leave home. Not good memories.

Patti