Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
So this is going to be a long post, so I apologize if that bothers anyone.
My name is Maya and I am 23years old. The only way I know of how to ask this question is to share the entire story so here it goes.
When I was seven, my mom after a little less than four years of batteling breast cancer, lost the fight. It seemed like after that things changed so rapidly. My dad just stopped doing all the traditions she had loved. The garden was let go and except for a few pictures and jewelry i kinda snuck away it was all gone (put into storage i later found out just recently). Then a few months later after school ended for the summer we moved to another state.
Dad just put himself in to work leaving me to handle myself. Then one day he suddenly introduces me to a woman hes dating. I was ten at the time and treated the two of them so rudely. Somehow it didnt seem to stop them from dating and they married when i was 12. At that time i didnt see how happy he was with her, and how much it hurt him when i was pushing them both away. All i could think was that he was replacing mom and leaving me behind.
Long story short, the night before i ran away with my boyfriend at the age of 17 i said some horrible things along the lines of wanting them both dead instead of mom. a few years later i came back, pregnant, and it took me another three years before i (this morning actually) had a heart to heart with dad where we talked alot about this.
he wants me to take the chance of getting to know Gloria, but im not sure how to, seeing as how much damage ive already done to any potential relationship we might have had. any advice would greatly be appreciated.
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Does anyone follow her? She's really got some good tips.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
Or talk to a therapist before you meet. You were a child. And lost your
mother and everything familiar when you were very young. You couldn't
Have expected to handle all that in a mature way.
They both know that you were a child and afraid of your life changing.....
Now you're ready for an adult relationship ….. The only time we truly have is today..... This can heal.... It's great that you're reaching out..... Big hug.....xo
he couldn't process his emotions and think clearly
i'm thinking he could see how much you were hurting and felt sad for that and didn't know how to help you or himself
forgive him for that
you were a child going through hell & not getting support with such, adults didn't handle going through hell well, so
forgive yourself for that
Gloria?, she helped your dad feel sunshine again and didn't know how to help, she probably felt awkward and out of place when she did due to timing and circumstance
forgive her for that
if your father is a good man & i bet he is
he wants you in his life and realizes that you were hurting, he may feel guilt for not being a better pappa bear
i think inside he'd
cry a tear of joy if you were to take step towards him
if Gloria is a good woman & i bet she may be
she'll want you in your fathers life as it would bring him peace to have his daughter
if were to take Suncloud's advice, make the apology short & simple
then include that you wish to not have missed sharing and being in each others lives and that you hope to end such and start making memories for each other here & now
Okay, you were ten years old and a little umm (sh*t). You weren't the first one, and won't be the last one.
I'd bet dollars to donuts that Goria knew that back then, and knows it now. (She was once a teenager herself.)
So...give her a chance. Talk. You sound like a really nice person, so I'm betting that the father that raised you was/is pretty nice too, and that he thus married someone equally nice. Sometimes things are more complicated than we make them.