Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I often wonder about what is going on with my family. This past weekend, me and my 3 children loaded up in my truck and drove the 4 hours to my dads house for a visit. When we got there around 2 pm me and my kids sat at my dads house till almost 4 when he called me and they told me to head to his girlfriends house. I was suppose to go to my sisters house to see the baby, my new niece. Well it got close to dinner time and my kids have to stay on a schedule bc I have a child that is ASD and two that are both ADHD, so i try to keep things the same everyday as much as I can for them. We left to get something to eat and was waiting to go to my sisters house. she called and said that it wasnt a good night to come by and for us to wait till the next day. So, me and my kids went back to my dads house to sit there, he was at his girlfriends house. When it was time for bed, my 3 yr old was asleep but was waking up every half hour crying saying she wanted to go home. She didnt go to sleep till i laid down and went to bed myself. hung around my dads till noon and finally got the all clear from my sister to come by and see the baby. We stayed there for about an hour then left.
I was feeling so depressed while I was there. I felt like i wasnt apart of the family anymore. Felt like i didnt fit in with my family anymore. They dont talk to me when I am there visiting and they dont really talk to me when they are here visiting. Yes we are 4 hours apart and it takes alot for me to get ready to come up there bc i have 3 kids and all their appts that I have to work around. I ended up packing up my truck and my younger two kids and drove back home the 4 hours. I told my dad how i felt when i was there and that its to the point that I dont want to come visit anymore. Also told him that the only reason that I still come to visit any is bc of my kids, so that they can know their family and spend time with them.
Everytime I go, my depression gets bad and my anxiety goes so high. Its like i am nervous to even go see my dad and sister. They treat me like i am outast now. I also feel like they dont understand how it is to have depression everyday and anxiety. They also dont understand how it is to have a special needs child. Its like I am all alone in my family. I just dont feel like i am part of the family anymore and it sucks. I just dont know what they want from me or what I did to them to hate me so much. Its like I really hate being a member of this family of mine now a days. I hate my family some times.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
You are a very busy mother. Surely, your family understands how tight it is with all that you have to do for your own dear family, which I commend you for being such a caring mother and I pray for you to hold up while dealing with this interaction with all other extended family members. They should be leaping to get along with you, because it takes a big heart to take care of the special and dear children you love so very much. You are a good mother and a one with a gentle heart.
Perhaps a quiet time is due for you and then you may further study out those disturbing feelings with family. And later, a fresh new approach may come to mind. I know that as a homemaker, my own time is much too busy; stretched to the limit, lol! Many times, I've turned family members away too, those outside of my closest in-home family; I've done this so many times all for reasons in which you describe. Usually, I feel as you do afterwards. Uncertain of why I can't stand to put-up with them for any broad frame of time. Yet, for some odd reason, I don't fit in comfortably around most of them. Why though? Who cares for now. Later, I may one day figure completely why this is for me. Though, I've since learned that it is not just me and my attitude with them, because they really do not like each other; bad attitudes all around! And if you really take a closer look and listen carefully, while visiting around your own group of folks, and do so very carefully as you communicate with extended family, you may notice, too, those expressions of odd side-glances, out-of-the-blue behaviors, such as facial smirks, digs or jabbing words, finger-pointing, jealousy, all of which these behaviors indicate that possibly there are some among you who just don't really like each other or they really have no desire to spend peaceful moments while in close family time together, which bad vibes rub-off on you too. Too bad, yes? But there are enemies in every family unit; we must excuse them and love them; so be of good cheer, for you are not alone, nor does this make you a bad or thoughtless person, so avoiding activities, where there will possibly be large groups of family assembled, in which you are not yet emotionally comfortable, it is better for you to decide yourself as to when, or how long you stay or how often you will visit them. No worry either. Honestly, I hate worrying, especially when I have already done my best job to get along with others. Leave them be until they are willing to create an atmosphere in which you feel safe and comfortable, and in which it is very noticeable that others appreciate your kind and gentle ways and your efforts to be as a nice person. Don't you dare put up with "mess." Be the gentle, kind and happy person that you are meant to be. Let them solve their on issues. After all, they are responsible for their own actions, not you. Stay innocent and you will live longer; for the sake of your beautiful family, right? Yes.
Stay home with your loving family and be happy together; I support you :-).
Best to you <3
Remiah
You’re totally in the right to avoid them, but I understand that you want for your children to have a relationship there.
This is a serious situation though and probably would benefit from some counseling.
Please understand that in these situations where a family ‘targets’ one of it’s members (you) it’s not because you did anything.
No matter what you did or didn’t do they would still target you with the silent treatment and ostracism. They are getting a big payoff emotionally from treating you this way.
I hope a counselor can help you arrive at the right conclusion for you and for your children. Maybe dropping your children off for visits and but staying away yourself and going off to entertain yourself elsewhere then picking up the kids and going home.
My oldest son who is 12, goes in the summer for a few weeks to visit with my dad and sister. he stays with my dad during the week and goes to my sisters house on the weekends to spend time with her. But my other two children, my dad wont let them stay without me there with them. One reason is bc he don't know how to handle my 7 year old that is ASD and special needs. He was still in pullups till about 4 months ago. My daughter is 3 and still in pullups and diapers, working on potty training, so she cant stay either. With my younger two, my dad wont stay with them and his house isn't kid proof for younger kids anymore since I moved out years ago with my oldest.
I just don't think that they really understand what I am dealing with everyday with my kids and I what I deal with with myself. I moved 4 hours away to get a fresh start, yes it was my choice to room my kids away, but they should accept what I did and get over it. I did what I thought was best for my and my boys at the time, my daughter was born a couple years later after we moved. I do my best for my kids to have a relationship with my dad and sister(s), but I ca only do so much myself without them meeting me half way with the relationship. I guess that is why I deal with the crap with them some times is bc I want my kids to see their family bc my younger two kids don't see much of their fathers side of the family, their choice not mine. I guess you could say that with how their fathers mother is to me and my kids, her grandkids, that I want to make sure that my kids have a good relationship with my family and know who their family is. I even go to my ex's familys house at Christmas time so that my kids can see their other family on their dads side so that no one ca say that I amkeeping my kids from their family. But when I am there I just sit there by myself and no one talks to me. I don't except the to talk to me, bc I am not a part of the family anymore. I mainly go so my kids and see their family. But its getting to the point that I am not wanting to go there either bc why should I make the time to take my kids there when they don't make the time to come to them to spend time with them. Its all messed up to me.