Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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I just don't know how to deal with this!

KuroNeko
KuroNeko

Previously I posted about my estrenged family contacting my son's father (I don't have any relationship with this person) about seeing my son. It has been about 4 months now that THEY decided to "supposedly" no longer be involve in my life. Or should I say they kicked me out of the family. Yet my father went behind my back while my son was staying with his father and asked him if he could see him. First, my son's father told me about this, and I replyed that I wasn't okay with my son seeing my father/any family members on my side. My reasons are none of his business and he should just respect that. Did he? HELL NO!!! I just got my son back and told me that he got to see my estrenged family. I don't even know what to say about that. I feel pissed off, and now I'm having a full blown panic attack because of it. UGH!! If I went behind their backs to see my nieces & nephews... THEY WOULD BE GIVING ME HELL OVER IT!.  This is ridiculous. I sent another e-mail to my sons' father basically begging him to stop any further contact with my family and to not let my son see them. I told him I don't have to explain you my reasons, just know that this is very serious. I mean I hope this doesn't happen again! I contacted both my brother and sister and let them know that this behind my back stuff is not okay. 

Tired
Tired
Talk to a therapist and then maybe a lawyer.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I would talk with a therapist about this.... I understand that you're angry with your family

Can you break it down for yourself and decide would your son benefit by having extended family.... your family there for him in a positive way

I agree that doing things behind your back is never okay and I agree with you there completely

Having aunts an uncles, cousins, grandparents etc can be really rewarding for a child however and very special relationships

Do you think that these people would be a danger to him?? or would they enrich his life?

I believe taking some time to think about this and be really honest with yourself can help you to find the right answer

Big hug... I know that you're hurting and I'm sorry.....xo
annieheart
annieheart
Its good you confronted everyone, What wa your sister and brothers reply? I dont know the details but If I remember right you said all they had to do was contact you to see him.Im glad he is home.
KuroNeko
KuroNeko
Yes, before this happened I asked them to please contact me in regards of seeing my son so we can talk about it. I got ignored. They instead went behind my back to my son's father house where my son was spending his summer due to (child custody court order). His father and I share custody. My son's father has no right no facilitate any visits with my own family, it is non of his business. I don't get in any of his family issues or have any relationship with any of his family members. We aren't in any type of relationship in that way at all. It is so disrespectful to me. My son has autism and he sometimes doesn't understand what is going on, though I tried to explain things to him without trashing/or saying anything bad about my extended family. Emotionally, I feel that If I put my son in a situation where he is seeing my extended family and I'm the one being estranged by them. I'm putting him in an emotional/awkward situation because I not there celebrating holidays, birthdays & other things. My father is very vocal & I fear that he will try to tell my son that everything is my fault and I'm the one who is the bad person in this situation which will put him against me. That is emotional abuse & i'm not going to put him through that. Since we moved out of my parents home when he was 4 years old, my mother was the one who made the effort to spend time with us. Never did my father ever called me to come over, it was always my mother wanting for us to spend time together. I'm glad he is home too, in a few years he will be of age and he can start making his own decisions whether he wants a relationship with them or not. Because of this my anxiety is extremely high & my depression is bad. I'm to a point where I will need to seek therapy for all this stress.
Thank you all. I really just needed a space to vent.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
It sounds like a lot of pain and a very difficult situation.... I do hear you.... Big hug.....xo
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