She's forcing you to either hire a lawyer or walk away from everything

IF there is anything financial it could gone if you don't do something or she could sell antiques...

She's forcing your hand IMHO

I think I would send her one last registered letter stating that your husband's family wants access to the will and then whatever the will sets out to follow and if she won't communicate and co operate the family is seeking legal action

If she doesn't accept the registered letter I would call a lawyers office that day for a consult

Quite often an there can be free consultations with a lawyer.... I would see if you can consult a lawyer for free and if she isn't following what the will sets out . I would see about her paying for any of these legal fees and court costs ordered by a court

This wouldn't happen if she was co operating with what your FIL wanted

A few months is more then a reasonable time to give her I think... It's very respectful ... I'm sorry for your loss and all that you have to now go through with this

The will is what you father wants to be done with what was his and she should be respectful of that and it's what is legal

Big hug.... xo

What I would do is to be proactive. If she was a domestic partner where I live and they called themselves in a marriage or married, then the laws of my state put inheritance into a different category than if she were merely the girlfriend. If they have joint assets, bank accounts, you guys may not be able to touch those. He may have put her on the bank accounts as having rights upon his death.

And the person who truly left this mess is your dad, someone in the family should have been given the copy of the will. Whomever he named as executor should have known in advance. So if you can think of this as less her being an impediment and more of dad having created the mess leading to her having control, it might reduce your anger at her and allow you to discuss with her with less anger. I think I'd hire an attorney if these possessions are of value to you. I'd get a consultation as SunCloud mentions with a probate attorney. I'd ask can we show up in a group and demand the will and the possessions? Maybe or maybe not. I'd ask about writing that certified letter - now days people won't sign for them so it's often useless. Who is in possession of the death certificate? Nothing can be done about his assets or even if he left retirement accounts to named beneficiaries on those accounts without the paper from the court saying the name of the person authorized to do such matters and the official death certificate.

This is pretty common situation. We think our parents and loved ones have their legal acts together. Then they don't. My uncle's mistress stole all the money that the son hadn't already stolen. The wife and daughter got nothing.

Thank you both for the very good advice. Urbangardener, you are very right about his dad leaving the mess for the family to sort out. I'm sorry to say that he never took much responsibility in his life and never thought much about the future. He had a decent amount of time, from the moment he got sick and then progressively getting sicker (about 2 years) to sort out his estate and possessions but he didn't. What I understood was that the will is a public record and anyone can access it (I may be wrong), so we are going to go for that route first. If that doesn't work, then we will call the lawyer. Hubby's siblings are so passive and they don't take any actions (leaving it up to fate because the partner won't cooperate), so he will get it done.

I agree with all the response that I have heard great input guys! I hope things work out for the best. the belongings that were past down should continue to be pased down to the blood relatives

In the majority of families this dispute always come up and aside from everyone cooperating it will require a lawyer to settle the dispute. I say you definitely need to get the will to see exactly what it says to insure nothing has been changed. In many cases you can get a free 30 minute consultation with a lawyer. It is the best interest of all concerned to address this matter as soon as possible. As for the grief I've been down that road twice once when my mom died and again when my wife's mother died. In both cases the families made the situations far worst then they had to be 'selfish' in my opinion. Death in the family is never a pleasant or easy situation no matter how hard you try to be understanding and patient. There will always be one or two who will never agree and will make everything difficult. Believe it or not but, my wife's mother's death has been so contentious between her and her sisters it has affected our marriage, possible divorce.
So you have an unenviable decision to either get a lawyer or walk away. Sorry.