My mother has always been in my life,yet she never raised me.My grandparents raised me basically at birth,so I never really knew who my mom was.I called my grandparents my mom and dad,and called my uncles and aunt my brothers and sister,and my mom my sister.So when I learned about this 3 years ago,trying to deal with this wasn't quite easy,yet I've learned to deal with it,I just cannot fully grasp the entire situation.My mom,when I first found out,became very distant,rarely talked to me,when I called to just find out some stuff she yelled at me,so I took that as the give up on talking to her about it.Since then the most she has helped me with was send me a couple old baby clothes,and all these baby pictures with my dad.Of course since she never raised me and only visited and I was technically her only child she treated me great,then again I was little,and I was her "sister" she use to always send me stuff,call me her princess,always called,visited whenever she could,and just was very involved with my life.

When I was 10 she had found a husband and had another child,now I still didn't know she was my mom,I thought she was my "sister".So I was excited for a new baby and that my "sister" was having a baby.When the baby was born,the phone calls became less and less,the visits were less and shorter,the sending stuff stopped.Then when I was 13 I was told about my "sister" how she was my mom and all that.Thats when my mom completely disconnected me basically.She rarely talks to anyone in the family really,but then again I'm technically her daughter she's suppose to atleast attempt to have some sort of care about me.

I recently turned 16,almost 2 weeks ago,and she didn't send a thing,didn't give a phone call,nothing.However I got a text around 10ish that night just saying "happy birthday,have a nice day".She use to go big on my birthday and get excited for me and call and what not,but not this year,so I texted her back thanking her and what not and no reply.She also came down on a visit about a month ago and was nothing but rude to me.As much as I want to hate her and keep her out of my life completely it's basically impossible.I'm told to just be nice and learn to love her.I cannot it's hard for me to love someone who refuses to talk to me and treats me like I'm nothing.

I just need help finding a way to get over her,I try so hard to keep a bond with her but it doesn't work,I feel like crap and that she hates me,in which I'm believing.Even though I can't love her,I still care about what she thinks about me and how she treats me and it hurts me and because of her all I do is blame everything on me and I feel like all of this is all my fault and I can't stand it anymore.I just don't know what to do anymore.