Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I first want to thank those who take the time to read my story. I just needed a space to share, as I have become a very secluded person, and have no one to talk to right now.
In Part 2, I mention that I was looking to sell the house, because my sister/brother refused to come into an agreement with me about the house that my mother left us. My mother passed in July of 2018 and I probated the will in October of 2018.(I got my dates wrong on the last post). It took from January until about the end of march to find someone that was interested in buying the house that would not low ball me & was being fair in the pricing. I finally closed the deal recently in the beginning of April. I had given my siblings notice in January that they will need to move out by the end of March. They were very rude & disrepectful towards me. My father called me to tell me that I was a selfish person and that my heart was in the wrong place and to never contact him again. My brother basically stopped talking to me altogether and my sister would only communicate with me asking where "the money" is. The sale of the house finally went thru & I opened a state account as adviced by the lawyer. I made sure that everything was divided equally, and even provided with proof of the house sale of the amount I recieved.
Today, I made out their checks & drove to my sisters work place and handed her the checks. She then said to me "I will send you mom last gift to you." I was like confused and said "ok."
I drove back home, and I kept thinking of what it could be. Then I remembered that my mom had mention a video that she wanted to make for all of us, but I didn't know she had actually made one because my sister never mention a video at all.
Later, I recieved a video of my mother who was just giving me her blessing and basically saying goodbye. My heart just broke down.
I was also very upset that my siblings kept this video from me until now. It took 9 months after her passing for me to see the video she had left for me.
I feel so broken and very hurt.
The e-mail she sent was with the statement "This is the video mom made for you. Goodbye forever."
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I'm sorry that the video was withheld for a while but glad that you have it now
Your mom left her estate to her 3 children.... It's not reasonable that you should walk away with nothing …. That's greedy
You did what your mom wanted and what was set out in the will as was your obligation … This money or house didn't belong to your sister or brother.... It belonged to your mom
I'm glad that you have the video now... I would try and take some deep breaths and let go of any resentment that you feel and if you need a little therapy to help work through this it could really help you..... Big hug.....xo
I really appreciate you being so active and responding to not just me but everyone that posts on here.
I hold no resentment towards them at all. I was upset, mad & very disappointed to be treated the way I been treated by my own family. I already had a hard time trusting people, & this has been another punch in the gut.
My father texted me today stating that I "stole" from my siblings because I did not get the "market value" of the house. Which honestly, it was not possible due to the amount of damage that house had inside and out. The foundation was really bad & it was a pillar foundation. The roof hadn't been taken care of and you could see the damage from the ceiling coming through. There was no flooring done in the house. (My dad several years ago started to "fix" it up) but like everything he starts he never finished it. My mother's church group came to together to fix it up for her just a bit. Added new color to the inside & fixed up her room really nicely so she can be happy & comfortable. They also fixed the bathroom & got a new heater for her. My mother went without a water heater for several years. My father never did take the time/money to repair it and I couldn't help her at that time because I wasn't working. My father left all kinds of car parts, a junk car, & several things that a "mechanic shop" would use in the backyard. Leaving the house in a huge mess. I have several pictures & proof of that. He called me greedy for taking off with the rest of the money.
I already gave them proof of the agreement and the exact amount of the sale of the house. I don't owe them anything. It just makes me sad.
BTW I think that your father " may" be struggling from a lot of guilt due to leaving and he's transferring his feelings onto you
I'd let him know that what he's doing isn't okay
Transference
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201306/anger-how-we-transfer-feelings-guilt-hurt-and-fear
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/healthy-relationships