I think is is fair to speak with him about your perspective, be objective and receptive to what he says,
there is; how things are and how one feels about them
see how things are from his side of the fence
it may change how you feel

understand that you will eventually move on & perhaps away as an adult
what life would you want your father to have from that point foward

I very much understand (and agree with your concern over how young his girlfriend is,

you can speak as i I commented above with an awareness that you don't want to burn the bridge between he and you.

you don't have to support his folly

you can speak your piece and he, his

Why wouldn't you want your father to be with a partner or wife that makes him happy??

Do you want to spend your life alone without someone to share it with??

You are an adult now and your father wants to share his time with and his life with a partner....a wife .. I hope that it's the right person

If it was me I would congratulate him and be on his side to support him no matter what happens..... Big hug......xo

It's not your choice.

Anyone who hasn’t gone through a father remarrying, absolutely can’t understand! Remarrying sounds all nice and cute to the people NOT involved. I went through Hell when my dad remarried after my mother’s death. I knew she and her family were just not a “fit” for him. He was lonely and desperate. He did disown me because I asked him to wait a while. Eventually, he came to me and told me awful things that happened that were abusive. On his death bed he begged for my forgiveness. If my dad had remarried someone else, I wouldn’t have had issue with it. Jeckygeek, it sounds like you don’t have a problem with him remarrying, it’s about WHO he wants to marry. It’s not the idea of him remarrying. It’s that you realize her age is a major factor and this person isn’t a good choice. I wasn’t able to talk any sense with my dad. Are there any friends or family that could talk to your dad? I learned quickly a child isn’t the one to try and handle it. When I tried to talk to my dad, he had friends like this other person SunCloud, who commented. Telling him I had no say in it, and that I should just be happy my dad “found someone”. Right. Never mind a daughter who knows and loves him knowing he was bringing a mess to deal with, in. Hopefully, your dad’s eyes will be opened. Bless you

We love our parents and we may not love their choices.... It reads like this person has been on their own for a long time Flower

Even if we don't like someone's choices … if we think it's a bad choice …. it's still their choice once a person is an adult

You wrote that you ended up estranged from your dad because of this is that right??….. because he was choosing for himself and wasn't going to be told what to do or not to do by another..... Even if the person loved him?

It's a losing battle …. Adults usually won't be dominated by another telling them what to do

Hopefully if the OP's father chooses to marry it will be to someone who will be a good match for him and they can have a good life together

I understand why a child might not want their parent to remarry or that they may be making a bad choice.... The problem is that you don't want to be estranged from someone who you love and they're going to do what they want to especially if they believe it's what's right for them (even if they're wrong)

Sometimes just being there to support someone is the best thing that we can do

I'm sorry that you were hurt Flower..... Big hug......xo

Sun, did either of your parents ever remarry? I went through lots of counseling when this was occurring in my family. Like the counselor told me,.... “What you feel, IS how you feel. Do not EVER let anyone else tell you you shouldn’t feel like that.”..... This was the best thing I was ever told and I’ve used it throughout my life. When you tell anyone... “You shouldn’t feel like that about .....” When it’s not YOUR situation you can never, ever tell another person how they should feel. You sound exactly like some of the thoughtless people telling me, “You shouldn’t feel like this about your dad. You should just be happy he’s finding a new love!” That was the most thoughtless, hurtful thing they could ever have said. For one thing, my mom had just died 3 months before. This woman was a neighbor whom I’d never seen. She was at my dad's home when we returned from the hospital and never left.....She took the house over, had a garage sale and sold everything of my mother’s without ever asking me if I might want anything belonging to my mom. Her daughter was going all over town saying, “Her mom was marrying a “Sugar Daddy”. My dad told me he didn’t love her. He just didn’t want to be alone. Which in any case, is NO reason to marry ANYONE. After he did it, she was awful to him. He’d have to sneak and call me. She wouldn’t let him talk to me on the phone. Nothing he did was right. She’d asked me constantly, if he’d acted like that with my mother for 50 years?! Within a few years, my dad had a massive stroke and was an invalid. She resented every second of dealing with him. When he died, all she kept telling me was how dealing with an invalid wasn’t worth no seven years of being married to him. She actually told me I was right all along.....she shouldn’t have married him! Among lots of other drama, the whole thing was just a mess. I saw it coming all along. Sometimes, kids DO KNOW when their parent is headed for a mess.....Fast forward to now. I’ve been a widow for 5 years. I’ve always wondered if I’d feel differently when I became a widow. Not for one day have I ever felt I would bring another person in and cut my kids off. When people get older, there are MANY more things to considered than when they’re 20. I know in some situations, people remarry and all is well. If the timing is right, things are done for the right reasons and everyone is willing to work with the others, it’s all good. Mainly, everyone needs to be “good, caring people.....So, no Sun you are just wrong. You cannot, and should not ever tell anyone they should be happy their dad is marrying. To do so is extremely thoughtless. I know.

Again I'm sorry that you were hurt...… and I'm sorry that you've lost your father...… and that he made a poor choice that effected you dearly

What I wrote isn't that I thought it was a right or wrong choice …. Nor did I tell anyone how they should feel

Just that it's his fathers' choice

I've written nothing about how anyone should feel???.... Simply that there are some things out of our control and to fight it causes more friction

I think supporting our loved ones is important though even if they do make some bad choices.... I don't think anyone escapes this life without making some poor choices and hopefully we learn from them

I know the pain of losing our parents.... It's miserable ..... Please don't bash me on here

Sun, I’m really sorry if you feel I was bashing you. I do apologize. It’s just that of ALL the issues I’ve dealt with in my life, this one issue caused me the most pain in all my 65 years. I am very sensitive to this day about this issue. It’s just that your words to Jecky sounded like an EXACT playback of the words I heard from family and friends when my dad did what he did. I suppose when I read your reply it hit me that I heard you saying, that Jecky’s feeling don’t matter. (That’s how they made me feel at the time.) I went through lots of therapy sessions about this matter. I learned a lot about how I saw another person’s problems, too. Like I’ve said before, until you’ve ACTUALLY lived through a situation, you can’t understand why a person feels the way they do about something. But, it didn’t help to tell me how I SHOULD feel. Nothing is ever simple. Anyway, I just pray that Jecky’s situation can be worked through and in the end work out for the best for everyone involved. Again, I hope you do accept my apology and understand where I’m coming from. Normally, I don’t react to things with such passion. I truly only said what I did as another way of looking at something. I will say I’ve seen where you’ve commented on other’s problems and I’ve agreed with you 100%!

Big hug...… xo