Hi folks! I'm new here, and decided to join this group as there's something that has been really eating away at me for the last couple of years...
My dad passed away in 2017, and the day he died, my mum dropped a bombshell: that she and my dad had been a secret couple for years, despite splitting up when I was 11 years old (I was 24 when my dad died)! They always remained friends, but as far as I was aware their sexual/emotional relationship was definitely over. It turns out they split up, he moved out, but within a few months they'd resumed their relationship (just didn't bother telling anyone). They actively tried to convince me and others that nothing was going on.
The day my dad died, my mum admitted this to me, and blamed me, saying that they couldn't get married or have the relationship they wanted because they didn't want to upset me (I never had an issue with them getting back together! I never really cared about them splitting up either as it was amicable). My mum never wanted kids, and I'm pretty sure she suffered from post-natal depression but she has a phobia of doctors so it was never diagnosed officially. Because she didn't want me, we've had a love/hate relationship - she genuinely cares, it's just not a maternal type of caring.
I now feel betrayed, and quite angry at my dad (this makes me feel awful because he's no longer with me, I should be reminiscing over happy memories, not getting angry) and also my mum.
She doesn't see it as a big deal, but I feel as if they both lied to me and laughed at my naivety for all those years. Mum says I'm overreacting, maybe I am, but I just feel hurt by all this. I honestly don't know why they didn't feel that they could tell me.
Am I overreacting? Regardless, is there a way of moving past this? Because it's still bothering me!
Thanks in advance
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