I have been trying to extricate myself from my daughter and her husband's life, which is what they claim to want and I have been working with a therapist. However, I have been drawn back in because my grandson (10) has confided in me that he wishes he could live with me instead of his home. He said he is embarrassed and frustrated by what he sees at home, doesn't want to bring friends there, doesn't like his step dad.

Despite my feelings about my SIL I have never suggested that my grandson not live there or invited my grandson to live with me. I have always tried to help my grandson see the positives in his step dad. This came out of the blue and was a surprise to me. I believe children should remain with their mothers except under extreme circumstances, that has always been my life philosophy.

I told him he should tell his mother how he feels and let her know what problems he sees but he said, "No, she'll just get upset." I asked him if he would like me to talk to her and said, "No, she'll just be upset with you too." I asked him if he would like me to tell his mother that he has some things he would like to talk to her about, but again his answer was, "No, she'll just get upset and nothing will change."

I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. I don't have a therapy appointment until the end of the month and am going to call and see if I can see her sooner.

I feel like my son and my daughter need to talk about this. I would, of course, allow him to live here BUT as I said above, I think kids should be with their mothers first. I would rather see he and his mom work this out.

I also think that if this problem is not resolved now it will only get worse and explode when he is a teen.

It seems like a no win situation and I really have been trying not to involve myself in their problems but feel I am being brought back in now because I don't think this conversation with my grandson should be not addressed in some way.

I just don't know what is best.