Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Hi!
I'm new to this group, but I've been in Addison's Disease, Lonliness, and Caring for Aging Parents, for some time. Looking through some of you guys' posts, I can see that I'm not alone in my family problems...at least that makes me feel a little better.
Basically, I was never the 'popular' one of the family. Enter one very unhealthy apartment I lived in after my divorce. It had no basement, no way to have AC in it, and it was in the moist woods. I ended up with an extreme mold problem. I'm tired, so I won't go into detail, but believe me, it was extreme! I had no place to go, as my nephew, a state police with enough money, was living in my father's only spare room. I desperately needed to go back to the family home. Mom had just died, I had just recovered from Lyme Disease, and I needed help...from someone. When I approached my nephew and explained how unsafe the apt. was, he just chuckled and said, "That bedroom is prime real estate!"
To make a long story longer, I began getting ill, and had to leave my part-time job. I mostly sat in the apt., and when I slept, I had to spray cologne on my neck, due to the strong mold smell. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and showed up at dad's, and slept on his couch. It still took nephew, weeks to find his own place. I had developed bronchitis, and had numerous health problems, but I was ready to start a new life. I was blinking a lot, and having bad feelings in my head, and later discovered that I had become hypersensitive to a certain type of mold, or perhaps micotoxin, that was in the apt. In spite of all this, I was relatively happy, for a couple of years. However, whenever anyone had been in that apt. (family owned) or brought anything over that had been there, I not only started blinking and eyes slamming shut, but I had electrical-type noises in my head, and I couldn't concentrate, and would get anxiety and depression and anger. Awful feeling!
What a shock I received, when I found out that my younger sister had decided to live in that same apt.!!! I wrote her and explained how unhealthy it was there, and how my Dr's said that the mold had given me Addison's Disease (I was diagnosed with that, the second year with dad) I also told her what devastating things happened to me, when I was exposed to anything or anyone who had been there, and she proceded to write me many hateful and surprising letters...basically saying that I could never be happy anywhere, that she didn't believe it was that bad or that I was even ill...and wrote hurtful things to me about the past. I had always thought we were close, and that we had a bond and an admiration and respect for each other, but no, she brought up ways in which I was problematic in the past, etc. She said that all my illness was my imagination! (though by now, I had been diagnosed with Addison's, pneumonitis, and Dr's at Yale, confirmed that the mold toxins had affected my brain...they told me I was not to come in contact with it.) Her words hurt me so much, because I saw that I was under a false belief, all these years, that we thought the world of each other. I had done many hours of physical therapy with her, when my folks were away, as she has dislocated hips.
Whew....I wrote too much. But for some reason, I need to write this. There is so much more, too...lots more, involving the entire family. I don't expect that anyone will plough through all of it, but I had to put it down, in a public forum. More later...
Love to you all!! xoxo
I'm new to this group, but I've been in Addison's Disease, Lonliness, and Caring for Aging Parents, for some time. Looking through some of you guys' posts, I can see that I'm not alone in my family problems...at least that makes me feel a little better.
Basically, I was never the 'popular' one of the family. Enter one very unhealthy apartment I lived in after my divorce. It had no basement, no way to have AC in it, and it was in the moist woods. I ended up with an extreme mold problem. I'm tired, so I won't go into detail, but believe me, it was extreme! I had no place to go, as my nephew, a state police with enough money, was living in my father's only spare room. I desperately needed to go back to the family home. Mom had just died, I had just recovered from Lyme Disease, and I needed help...from someone. When I approached my nephew and explained how unsafe the apt. was, he just chuckled and said, "That bedroom is prime real estate!"
To make a long story longer, I began getting ill, and had to leave my part-time job. I mostly sat in the apt., and when I slept, I had to spray cologne on my neck, due to the strong mold smell. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and showed up at dad's, and slept on his couch. It still took nephew, weeks to find his own place. I had developed bronchitis, and had numerous health problems, but I was ready to start a new life. I was blinking a lot, and having bad feelings in my head, and later discovered that I had become hypersensitive to a certain type of mold, or perhaps micotoxin, that was in the apt. In spite of all this, I was relatively happy, for a couple of years. However, whenever anyone had been in that apt. (family owned) or brought anything over that had been there, I not only started blinking and eyes slamming shut, but I had electrical-type noises in my head, and I couldn't concentrate, and would get anxiety and depression and anger. Awful feeling!
What a shock I received, when I found out that my younger sister had decided to live in that same apt.!!! I wrote her and explained how unhealthy it was there, and how my Dr's said that the mold had given me Addison's Disease (I was diagnosed with that, the second year with dad) I also told her what devastating things happened to me, when I was exposed to anything or anyone who had been there, and she proceded to write me many hateful and surprising letters...basically saying that I could never be happy anywhere, that she didn't believe it was that bad or that I was even ill...and wrote hurtful things to me about the past. I had always thought we were close, and that we had a bond and an admiration and respect for each other, but no, she brought up ways in which I was problematic in the past, etc. She said that all my illness was my imagination! (though by now, I had been diagnosed with Addison's, pneumonitis, and Dr's at Yale, confirmed that the mold toxins had affected my brain...they told me I was not to come in contact with it.) Her words hurt me so much, because I saw that I was under a false belief, all these years, that we thought the world of each other. I had done many hours of physical therapy with her, when my folks were away, as she has dislocated hips.
Whew....I wrote too much. But for some reason, I need to write this. There is so much more, too...lots more, involving the entire family. I don't expect that anyone will plough through all of it, but I had to put it down, in a public forum. More later...
Love to you all!! xoxo
I tried to junk the wreck but couldn't find a junk yard that would take it! My sibling who goes through cars like cheap cigars said he wanted it. I explained to him everything that was wrong with it and how it was really just a big pile of spare parts no one wanted. His response was "You just don't understand cars."
So I let him have the car. His wife drove it 20 miles into town for groceries shortly after they got it. When she came out with the groceries the battery and alternator had died stranding her.
So not my fault.
And it's not your problem that your sister isn't listening to you. Let her live there. You obviously can't stop her, she won't listen. Those are her issues. She apparently is someone who needs to learn the hard way. That's sad, but it's not your fault.
I also have siblings with somewhat skewed views of my life and our family. For years I thought I'd been making progress and they were finally coming to know me and like me. In the space of a few months last year I realized that really wasn't the case, and that we were just never going to be friends or even really respect each other. Apparently I'm not deserving of respect for reasons that elude me.
They're entitlted to their opinions, but they are only opinions. They don't know me well enough to get to pass judgement on who I am. I suspect your sister is much the same. She sounds like she has issues she's trying to pass off onto you so she can go on about her life. Don't let her make you responsible for her issues. If she gets sick, you are not responsible.