Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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Family that wants stuff after a family member dies

MDP
MDP
My father passes away, and all of a sudden people I never met and family members are wanting my dads stuff. My husbands family who barely knew my dad are trying to malipulate me into doing what they want and giving them things. My husband family always made me feel like an outsider....so I am shocked that think they should get anything. People are trying to be snicky and underhanded. They are all trying to get something for nothing. People I thought would never be this way have shocked me with their behavior. I think it is in such bad taste for people to start circling and saying what they want of my dead fathers stuff. I have never asked for anything when my relitives have passed away......I have always thought that is was none of my business what the the family did with their inhearatence. I really need someone to talk to but don't know who I can trust!!! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle people that are like this......I just want people to leave me alone (when it comes to my dead fathers things!!!!!!!)
maebeth
maebeth
I'm sorry for your stress and the loss of your dad. Sounds like you got some greedy people on your hands. I would say this...I'm not ready to give my father's things away. I'm still grieving his loss and will let you know if I decide to give you _______. Until then, don't discuss this with me. Or you can give them a dose of their own medicine...I'm trying to pay off dad's expenses or build a college fund for my kids or whatever. What are you willing to pay for ___________? At this time, I can't afford to give it away.

Again, I'm sorry for all the rude and greedy people you are meeting while dealing with your father's passing.
EBBIESGIRL
EBBIESGIRL
I totally understand how you are feeling. When my mother died, I had to deal with this within my family. My brother had never married and lived with my mother all his life. Whatever was in their house they both helped to pay for so I felt that it should all belong to my brother now.
When my brother and I got back from the funeral home after making the arrangements for my mother, we found my older sister emptying my mother's house. She was loading antiques etc into the back of a friend's pick-up truck.
She also told the executor of my mother's will that she would not cooperate with him unless he allowed her to be in charge of the probate.
I am constantly amazed how family and others act after someone dies. I feel your pain and confusion and think that you should tell these people to go to a very hot place created especially for greedy people.
P00hbear
P00hbear
Wow what a terrible thing to have to deal with after your dad has passed away, amidst all the grief. I am so sorry this is happening to you, and I agree with the other posters, maebeth's advice was good but I know it isn't always that easy to say, especially when you are shocked or grieving. Due the best you can to be honest and forthright and do not let them manipulate you - do take some time for yourself too to grieve and do what you need to do...
jeniq
jeniq
I am sorry for your loss. I know how things change after someone dies. My mother-in-law died a few years back and my husband didn't ask for anything even though he paid her a salary when my mother-in-law was alive. My sister-in-law took all of her jewelry and my brother-in-law took the house and everything in it. No-one asked if my husband or children wanted anything. My husband didn't want to make any trouble so he sweeped it under the rug.

One time he asked for some pictures of his children and my sil went bizurk . She didn't want to share anything with him and only gave him pictures she didn't want. Since then there has been tension between him and his sister.

Unfortunately, that seems the way of the world , greed, greed and more greed.