Hi So I’m new to this my friend had recommended me to this website to see if I’m able to get things out and hear other people’s opinions about it and see what I could learn from it.
so my family and I we’ve been going through a lot of huge events that’s hit us recently but before that it wasn’t as bad. I don’t have a good connection with either side of my family including my parents especially my mother. One day we’re fine then the next almost everything is my fault, if I dropped something on accident it’s like I disappointend her so much she has to yell at me constantly.
I just had a baby 5 months ago, as a teen mom I’m having a bit of trouble and things get rough but I’ve been really depressed lately which she thinks she couldn’t have “passed it down from her or my dads genes” and that it’s ridiculous that I should have these feelings or feelings in general. Anytime I try to talk to her she throws my feelings in my face like she doesn’t give a care in the world to what I have to say because it’s my fault. She taughts me from time to time, constantly talks down on me then when I blow up she’s all on my side and tells me to talk to her but when I do again tells me to stop acting like I am and be who she thought she taught me to be because she wasn’t raised like that or has had any problems so I shouldn’t.
Oh wow. Its icy out in the Chicagoland area. The cold radiates from the concrete floor in the basement, through my socks, my feet into my calfs and lower legs. I feel absolutly fraglie and foul. I hate this cold weather. I am just achey. I took two aleves. Maybe later I will have a hot tea. I highly doubt I am going out today for anything.
I have started the process of looking for a therapist. I'm tired of living in constant fear and negativity. My anxiety makes change scary af but change could include no anxiety. I dream of who I can be and who I want to become. But the healing process part it has me cowardly hiding in fear. What are some ways some of you have gotten over that first hump of finally making a positive difference?...