I have always been raised to be there for my family. I have been the doting daughter and sibling for years. I finally had a breakthrough and I have started taking care of myself emotionally.

My family has always leaned on me, but has never been there for me. My parents and grandparents always told me I was the strong one and that I should be there for my family.

My family has always reached out whenever they need something and I have always obliged. I have enabled my older brother for years. When I decided not to take care of him any longer, he tried to commit suicide. I brought him to my home and tried to help, but realized that he needed more than I could give.

My Mom always raised me to be independent and never coddled me. She always pushed me away and I was not her favorite. I still have always provided for my Mother when she was in need. I purchased her home and paid her mortgage when she got sick. I have purchased two cars for my Mother. I saw my Mother work hard over the years so I did not want her to go without. I felt like that was the least I could do. However, now that she has lost most of her friends and both my Dad and Stepdad have passed away, she is now longing to live with me. There is nothing wrong with her and I have decided I do not wish to oblige her. She has a sister, 1st cousins, and a long time friend my siblings refer to as "Auntie". These people have all invited her to visit and she visits them for a week and then rushes home.

My Mother does not want for anything. Her home is paid for. She gets more than enough in retirement and pension and has a healthy savings account. Again, she drives a car that is paid for.

I feel like my family has not really appreciated me or tried to have a relationship with me over the years. I was always an outcast. I always did as I was told, attended college while working because my parents did not offer to help me. My Mom paid for my sister's education. My Grandmother paid for my brother's needs for a long time. I have always had to figure things out. I am blessed that I had enough smarts and common sense to figure things out.

I just do not appreciate the fact that the only time my family wants to be bothered is because they want to depend upon me. I have immediate and extended family members that always want something from me. I tend to stay away from them. I have lived away from my family for most of my adult life. I like it this way. I don't like that they all want me to be their caretakers and take care of their estates. My Mother even volunteers me to be the executor for various peoples' wills. Even though I am not the benefactor. I told her that the benefactors should handle those affairs. Especially since these people all live in different states.

Whenever I have tried to have a relationship, my Mother and Sister constantly intervene. They always tell me that marriage is not all its cracked up to be even though they are married or have been married. Its like they don't want me to be happy. When I was trying to get married, they did not offer to help, but also told the wedding director (family friend) not to assist.

Again, with all of the negativity, I have still been there for my family. I have stopped trying to be a people pleaser and now I am starting to resent my family. I don't think this is healthy either. I try to deal with them on my own terms, but I find that difficult to deal with them. It is always a need or a circumstance. No one helped me when I needed a car or a place to live. My Mother even put me out at one point when I was younger because I no longer allowed her to control me.