i'll try and keep this short. basically my parents are now getting so they need help now mums 85 and dad 88. i've been helping them with the physical work my elder brother just does some of their paperwork occasionally. he has always been mums favorite,his children are favored over my children even though mum says she hasn't got favorites,her sister ,who was my aunt ,who sadly we lost last year could see it to but if either my aunt or i said anything to mum she would just say we was jealous. but their friend put it in a nutshell to me a few years ago she said to me "your not jealous your hurt". i have borderline personality disorder which means i'm emotionally unstable and oesto arthritis in my knee and now i'm nearly 55 and my mental health is bad at the moment i don't feel like going out. so just this one year i asked my brother to take our parents to put flowers on our grandparents graves for mothers day. one set of graves is in town which my dad is ok to drive to ,the other set of graves is 5 miles away which he isn't really safe to drive to. usually when i have took them we go to both sets of graves. my brother got to theirs at 1pm but instead of setting off and having a sandwich etc for lunch mum cooked a hot meal. they didn't leave till gone 3pm. but then instead of going to both sets of graves she said they only had time to go to the graves in town because my brother had to be somewhere at 6pm which he had. i asked why didn't they go to the set of graves 5 miles away then ,and then dad would be ok to drive to the graves in town. mum snapped at me she wanted to go to her set of parents and my lates aunts grave first. so i felt they was expecting me to go over today and take them to my other grandparents grave. i have always loved and respected my parents ,but i have lost my one true best friend and who i called my second mum ,my aunt who was my mums identical twin. she understood the hurt i felt that my elder brother was the favorite and his daughters . when i was upset i could just ring my aunt and talk to her. she also would get fed up with my mum bragging about how well his daughters was doing at uni etc but not mention my sons. one of my sons got married just over a year ago mum just wanted one photo of me with all 3 of my sons,not a bride and groom one. she said she would take out the old photo she had of them out of the frame and replace it with this one as she didnt keep out of date photos on display. and she hadn't got room for any more photos in her room. then not long ago my brother daughter graduates and mum asks for a photo. then i see not just one but two large photos in her room of my brother daughters,then a family photo of her graduation. at this point i did mention i thought she had no more room for photos and also mentioned she had said she didnt keep out of date photos on display(excuse she gave when she replaced a old photo of my boys with my sons photo from his wedding) but she still had on display a old photo of my brothers girls on display. ok sounds petty on my part but it hurts. i did a oil painting gave it to mum years ago its put in a cupboard my brother does one years later she gets it framed and on her room wall.along with another of his paintings. i can't now ring my aunt and let it all out how i'm feeling . it was after i lost my aunt my mum said the first positive thing about me that they couldn't had managed without me sorting everything out. but how do i cope with things now i haven't got my aunt to talk to and defend me. ive tried talking to mum how i feel but all i get is she hasnt got favorites and i'm jealous. but this has affected me right from being young ,i'm closer to my mum than my brother mum has even said this,but it's the way she fusses around him. little things like if he goes to visit a nice tea is set out etc .