I am so sorry for what you are going through... I haven't been in your situation, but I don't think you the environment you are in is healthy for either one of you. Your mom has gotten attached to you to the point where she doesn't want you to live your own life without including her. I think both of you need your space.

Mother-daughter relationships are, as I'm sure you know, very complicated. I agree with what nmous posted. Also, your mom is probably having a difficult time letting you go. Yes, you are an adult. However, since you've been living at home and spending a lot of time with your mom (until recently) she's probably having a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that you have grown up. In a way, she might feel like she is losing you and doesn't know how to deal with that. Does she have her own friends? Along with starting to look for your own place, you should encourage your mom to start doing things with her own friends or maybe get involved doing some volunteer work.

At 24 you are certainly old enough to be on the pill ,getting traffic tickets and having a private life ,even tho you still live at home. Nowadays its hard for kids to leave home because everything costs so much .You have to let your kids be grown ups ,never go in their room , My daughter phones me twice a week comes over at least once a week and we go for dinner and shopping maybe once a month ,she hates shopping unless shes going for something specific I love to window shop ,so she does it for me lol, It took a few fights and some talks to get to a point where we both were happy with the amount of time we have together, Shes gone away this weekend with boyfriend and friends ,she phoned me on the way just to say hi . She lives with her boyfriend ,shes 23 . You do need to include your Mom in your life but she needs to let you spend the rest of the time treating you like an adult and letting you live your life .

im 2 yrs older than you. my mom thinks she can go thru ur life whenever she pleases including opening ur mail which is mail fraud. i have seen my messenger bags and previous purses opened because of her demanding why do i have xyz i asked why do u care? u never care about ur own kids since ur so in lust with the other woman why dont u go worry how ur gonna divorce dad and get ur money back?

i snooped in her stuff to show her how it feels big mistake she didnt even get it! she felt i was being an asshole i said that makes two of us. i keep most of my stuff at my bf's house she will snoop thru it anyway cant even hide anything in my room anymore at least u have a job whereas i am still looking for one

My guess would be your mom was shocked to find a few things she did not know about you, you said you spent alot of time together, so she probably thought you told her everything....sounds like hurt feelings....
I would try to get her in her comfort zone...over dinner? tv show? morning coffee? with dad to if possible?? and just spill out how you are feeling. Just take a deep breath and spit it all out!!!
If she understands that you love her and you were not trying to hurt her but are still trying to be your own person, maybe she will stop and think about her own reaction...(no guarentee-you know her best)
However if you do want the realtionship to be fixable, she needs to know how upset and hurt you are and that you are even considering moving out becuase of the current situation. If you do move out before you talk this through...it will be more difficult to get past with your mom...
stay strong

Well after not speaking to me for almost 2 weeks , last night she decided that I wasn't home at my "curfew" of 4:30 (when i work till 4 and have never had a curfew until this past year), she would call my phone multiple times as well as calling my work to see if I had left. I came home to engage in an argument with her, basically she thinks I'm immature, inconsiderate and rude and don't help her nearly enough around the house, even though I take care of much of the laundry, vacuuming and water the plants, walk the dogs, etc. Her main argument on that was "when i was your age i cleaned the whole house". Then she argued that I don't answer my phone when i see her calling but always text my friends back, my feeling on that is why answer when I know she's just trying to pick a fight. I told her this morning if she's so unhappy with me I'll either start paying rent or move out, she said she doesn't want either of those.
I've also realized it makes her happy to see me unhappy- she finds problems right away in every guy I talk about, she brings up old fights I've had with friends and says "do you still want to be friends with someone like that?". She also says the people at my fire hall hate me because I'm not extremely involved, then when I do spend more time there she says I'm going to wind up in trouble because if anything goes missing or gets damaged i will get blamed.
Lately this whole drama with her just makes me want to end my life, I did tell my dad I'm feeling like this but he said that's taking it too far and I need to realize mom is only doing this out of love.

Sounds more like jealousy to me. Mom doesn't want to lose her best friend. But you aren't helping it by hiding your life from her.

Time to grow up and act like the adult that you are. And that means telling mom some things she probably won't like but telling her is better than her finding out later. I would also write out a list of chores that you will do and anything you will contribute to the household monetarily. Then discuss this with mom and dad together.

At the same time start thinking about your exit plan. Save some money toward moving out.

your emotional state about this situation shounds like it is getting worse...is there a family member outside of the home you could taslk with?
It is hard for moms to let go, but it does need to be to the point were you are suicidal and mom is picking apart your drive time home.
Is there something else going on with you and mom?
Personally I feel like you and your parents need to sit down and have a calm conversation about expectations. You should all be able to speak you mind, clear the air, and find compromise to move forward.
For example your room is your room, you will not clean or go through their room, you and would like the same consideration. Your bills are your bills, as long as you do not ask them to pay them, then you are responsible for your own...
What chores you will continue to do to help with the house, and addressing you having a curfew.
If you all cannot come to some sort of terms with these things you are going to be better moving out. It is not healthy to feel so unhappy all the time...I know its hard- but if you put the effort forward and stay calm during the covnersation you will be proud of yourself.

your mum may not be well hate say this but while back this was me , not exactly felt unable cope and out control later when treated found thyroid packed up realise I was ill not able cope but seriously try to rebuild your relationship if possible get your own space , invite her over , tell her more so she worries less . I acted way did then because I loved him wanted him be safe

i dont see why she would need to write down her list of chores if she is already doing them responsibly. sounds like her mom is controlling with issues. it does sound jealous im appalled by how mothers act in today's world with their daughters. it seems as though the moms missed being a teen or a young adult with the drama that goes behind it!

my mom always ask me why am i going out with my bf daily or a friend. i said what is it to you? since when do u care about what i do since parenting stopped at age 10 for you? it is not a back and forth thing it is a lifetime responsibility. she blew up when i said that!

i dont feel my parents have a right to know what i am doing. i got a dad who never wanted to be a dad but wanted a bunch of kids so he can be like the rich Arab men and not take care of the kids. he was never in our lives growing up, always denying us still does, only becomes dad when he feels like it. i only talk to him if i need money. as far as i am concern he can write me a huge check and send me on my way!

my mom again never was there for us either. her life revolves in the tv news, dad's assets, and his whore mistress (the woman has been "part of the family" for now 40 yrs). do i need parents now? no, way too late should have been parents from the beginning. i dont see why they bitch and complain at age 26 what i am doing. dont pretend u care and wanna be mom or dad when u fucked up that!

u said ur working full time, is it possible you have maybe enough money to get a roomie? if so, do some budgeting and see if there is money left to pay your half of rent if you had a roomie. nowadays, there is no such thing as a permanent job because nobody knows how long they will keep their jobs. also, try to save each month as a backup to live off in case something goes wrong.

i envy you that you have a job as i am still looking for work in the state i live in the unemployment rate is still high with nothing but crap jobs. you dont have to tell your mom everything only some things u want to share. ur 24 u can live ur life however u want the problem is most parents dont want u to live ur life, it is not helping a child to be independent.

u were always with ur mom 95% and withdrawn and depressed in high school? ohhh i see you have codependency issues that is the problem right there.