Only time will hopefully alow your mom to see the man you are marrying and really get to know to him, even though she may not care for him she needs to respect your choice and your life, if he is abusive or somethign like that then I understand her concern, but if he is not then no matter what you do you cannot change her way of thinking only time will do that(hopefully) so you have some things to think abotu and decide how best to deal with it, not an easy solution because you are probely feeling like you are being pulled in two, so take the heat off you and put it on mom, sit down and tell her you love her and that you want her to a part of your life and your daughter's life/ but that you will not put up with the disrespect towards your life or marriage, and that if she chooses to act like that then you will have to limit your time with her and your daughters time, that she is more then welcome to come to your home but she will behave, if she get's mad then that is her choice give a few days to cool off, then if she chooses to not act nicely then that is her choice not yours and you cannot let it make you feel bad, concentrate on your family, send her cards and pictures and let her know you love her and hopefully in time she will reaize what she is losing out on,

not if shes gona act like tht. thts ridiculous if shes gona cause problems in ur household. tht will create tension and problems in ur home tht are definitely unneeded. i think if she rly wants to be apart of ur daughters life she will use some self control. she may not like ur fiance but hes the father of her grandchild and deserves respect for taking care of ur guys. im sry but ur mother seems very selfish. i wldnt let her around my family until she learns how to treat my husband if i were u. u dnt want him to end up resenting u for this and her presence in ur home will create an unhealthy environment for ur daughter. ur mom needs to stop acting out against him becuz if she is willing to act tht way thn i dnt see y she shld be allowed in ur house. thts just my opinion. good luck

Keep your mom away from your child. No matter what!

She sounds quite 'mad'.

I can't believe your mom would treat your fiance that way, and he's the father of her grandchild. Your mom sounds crazy, and selfish. I hope that with time your mom will see that your fiance isn't a bad guy, and that she can see her grandchild without all the drama. But if your mom doesn't change, maybe it's best she cannot see her grandchild. That's what I think, good luck!

Ok - I am a mother of a wonderful daughter with 3 little boys.
She met her husbsnd on the internet in sn abuse group -- they chated for 3 years decided to meet and get married..

did I approve........ NOT ........ how ever I met the man - he seemed nice I questioned my daughter as only a mom can.
I came to the conclusion that I really had no objections except to how they met and his being a lot older.

But in the long run it is her (your) decision.
You need to tell your mom that and also tell her you know she just wants to protect you but that its your life -your decisions.
And thank her for raising you to be able to make these decisions.

hope this helps
Meg

80days,

When your mother took your baby's toothbrush and intentionally cleaned the toilet with it...then says she wishes your son would die ... there is something wrong.

Using your son's toothbrush to clean fecal matter and then when the toothbrush is used on your son...that is seriously wrong and your son could get sick and possibly die from the ecoli on the toothbrush.

Along with telling your sister that she "wishes (Gabby) would DIE" ... that is dangerous and a sign to keep Gabby away from your mom.

Should you include your twisted mom in Gabby's life? IMHO, absolutely NOT.

Your an adult and so is your fiancee-what "mom" thinks is irrelevant.

You have a chance to become independent and if your man is one of the 'good guys' of the world...what your mom thinks doesn't matter.

If she is devious enough to use Gabby's toothbrush in the toilet ... without telling you...imagine what she is capable of. That in itself should scare you into keeping Gabby away from "mom" or at least if you allow her in Gabby's life ... don't let Gabby out of your signt.

Good luck.

sorry 80days. I referred to Gabby as your son...when she is a daughter.

Hello I can somehow relate to this story. When I was 21 I met a man that was 34 years old ( 13 yrs older then me) At the time I already had a son from a previous relationship . My mom kept tryin to use him against me sayin you need to think about your son first before your relationship. She actually tried to keep my son and tell me I couldn't see him. My mom and I are close and what the problem mainly was she thought he would take me away from her but in the end i had to be harsh with her and get angry and not care if i hurt her feelings or not because to me she was just being childish. I told her that I was taking my son and that until she respected my feelings and my wishes that she would not see me or her grandson. I told her that I love him and that nothing she said would change that. He even said some things to her and fought with her because of how she treated me and how she was tryin to turn my own son against me with lies like telling my son I didn't care about him that I only cared about getting sex and having a man. Well to make a long story short. I married him and am now 31 and he is 44 and we have been together for 10 years and married for 9 and he is the love of my life. We have 3 children together. He's great with my other son and he works hard to support us and never have we wanted for anything. My mom is now my bestfriend again. She respects him now sometimes they will argue alot but she knows her place and I can still talk to her about any problems we are having and she won't hold it against him and it was because I went with what i wanted instead of what she wanted and let her know first hand that if she wanted me in her life and my children she'd have to adjust to having my husband in her life and my life or she would lose me. She wouldn't do that so she accepted and respected my decision. So go with what you want and eventually your mother will adjust to it and come around because in the end I would think she'd want her daughter and grandchildren in her life instead of hatred for her son-in-law. It's just tough love I realized if my mother thought she could rule me then she would try no matter what it took but if i turned it around on her she'd just deal with it and and respect my decision. Your mother had no right to do that toliet thing to your future husband...That was low, disrespectful, and disgusting on her part and I'm sure your future husband thought so to and i'm sure it's causing problems between the two of you as well so Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you!!!

I am confused about whose toothbrush was used by your mother to clean the toilet.

How disgusting and if she does stuff like that (sounds like my mom) she's got "issues".

I hope you and your husband to be will be very happy.

Um yeah.. If she is sneaking around in your house, doing completely awful and immature things like scrubbing out a toilet with his toothbrush... that's messed up. This is just sneaky and SO disrespectful. If she's done that, just imagine what else she is capable of. I would not let her within 100 ft of my daughter if I were you.

Wow, that is a bit bizarre! My mother is a nasty person too, but who knows, lol, maybe she's done that too!

Seriously, yur mother needs to respect you now, you have a child with this man, you are an adult and this is your life now.

You should have a talk with your mother and tell her you know about the tooth brush incident, as bizarre as it is, and then just tell her if she can't respect you, your husband to be and the decisions you make, she just cannot come over. If she doesn't want to change or can't than you may have to make some hard decisions.

I had to distance myself from my mother and sister and family really. It was the healthy thing to do for me, and it may be for you too. I feel better about myself for doing that.

Good luck on your decision.