Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Today I was in the kitchen and I decided to prepare my own food to eat. Then, she saw how I was getting ready to fry some food when all of a sudden she got upset and was telling me how to do it.
She started to complain about me and tell me how I never listen to her; I never do it her way. I, being her daughter, don't like to talk back but I get soooo tired of telling her: look, I know how to do it. I have done it before. Why are you making it so difficult? You make everything so big".
I sucked in it for a little while until I came to my room and I decided to draw. I just sat there, prayed, and i wept like a baby. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, even if I do it well, everything is questioned and checked like if she is an inspector. PTSD has affected me in my quality of relationships with my family; esp. my mom. She just does not get it! It's like... I care enough to be honest with you and all you do is see how wrong and how things should and should not be. It's getting me to the point in where I just want to shake her and tell her to: " BACK OFF!"
God instructed us, as children to be obedient to our parents because it will promote long life and blessings to us. Yet, I have seen that parents sometimes don't know when to stop and persist that their way is always the best way. My therapist for PTSD told me that I should leave home because it is not: a healthy environment and that I am fighting a lost battle. They won't see because they dont want to see. They dont want to change. She is right! From what I know and see, time will tell.
I remember this word: " Everything has a time and place; there is a time and place for everything under the sun" ( Ecc. 3:1)
She started to complain about me and tell me how I never listen to her; I never do it her way. I, being her daughter, don't like to talk back but I get soooo tired of telling her: look, I know how to do it. I have done it before. Why are you making it so difficult? You make everything so big".
I sucked in it for a little while until I came to my room and I decided to draw. I just sat there, prayed, and i wept like a baby. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, even if I do it well, everything is questioned and checked like if she is an inspector. PTSD has affected me in my quality of relationships with my family; esp. my mom. She just does not get it! It's like... I care enough to be honest with you and all you do is see how wrong and how things should and should not be. It's getting me to the point in where I just want to shake her and tell her to: " BACK OFF!"
God instructed us, as children to be obedient to our parents because it will promote long life and blessings to us. Yet, I have seen that parents sometimes don't know when to stop and persist that their way is always the best way. My therapist for PTSD told me that I should leave home because it is not: a healthy environment and that I am fighting a lost battle. They won't see because they dont want to see. They dont want to change. She is right! From what I know and see, time will tell.
I remember this word: " Everything has a time and place; there is a time and place for everything under the sun" ( Ecc. 3:1)
no matter what my mom's daughters do is never good enough always gotta bitch at something causes an argument. the funny thing is they start a damn argument but its my fault for yelling at them who started the damn argument?
how can you be obedient to narcissus? my parents only care about themselves and nobody else why even have kids? ppl tell me its not healthy for me to still be living at home because of this hostile environment.
But this is where I will disagree with you: my parents are not narcissists. That's a big no-no! As much as my mother and I do not agree on things, it does not mean that she cares only about herself. She may have her issues of being perfectionist and whatnot, but that doesnt necessarily mean that it categorizes her as something else.
I obey my parents to a certain extent: they have given me life and raised me. They have never treated me in a way that I didn't deserve until some couple of years. Things changed because of that and yes, it's wrong. But, at the end of the day, they are still my parents.
oh god here's the guilt "i obey my parents for the life they have given me and raised me." u know, in therapy, my therapist said that's a form of guilt. it sure dont mean sure let ur parents walk all over you like a door mat which i knew that b4 i started going to therapy.
the other part "at the end of the day, they are still my parents." lmao that never applies to me i never say that about my parents. know what i tell ppl? those ppl just take care of me thats it or they are related to me DNA wise. why call them parents when they never acted or wanted to be parents?
i do not obey my parents unless i am getting money out of it thats why i become nice towards them. they are atm machines to me my sister did the same thing when she was a kid. obey my ass a glutton for punishment is what i call ppl like that. sorry if that sounds harsh, but that sounds like someone who wants to be a walking door mat.
maybe you should elaborate more about your mother and why she does this. was your grandma like this towards her? if so, then that explains why gives you this mistreatment. i agree with your therapist how u should leave home thats only if you can afford to move out and you have a stable job now.
i just realized how u contradicted yourself if ur saying u obey ur parents no matter what then say they wont change, they dont want to see etc then why obey your parents when they will not ever change? i dont know what sense that makes. if they are showing they will not ever change why bother? my parents will never change they will die lonely and a not so peaceful death.
from what my therapist has told me, omg so much better advice than other users i have ever gotten ever! she makes more sense than ppl i have met who would rather be walked on by their parents or other family relatives.
i see and hear too many stories about parents acting like such children and the kids gotta be parents that is not a good sign!
i mean i have to wonder if there are some people (people in this group in general) in therapy right now. the poster has a therapist i know that. this whole damn family group told me to go to therapy and i am in it. at least my therapist gave me way more understanding than this site has ever given me. i just dont understand these kinds of posts where people just let their families walk all over them or whatever.
its letting the guilt take over them and being a door mat. "God instructed us, as children to be obedient to our parents because it will promote long life and blessings to us."
only if your parents walk the walk and talk the talk, then being obedient to your parents make sense but as an adult, you still have to make your own decisions.
my therapist told me from my childhood was very traumatic whereas other people have told me i didnt have a traumatic experience growing up like the hell they would know!
i dont know what kind of mom she is, is the one who's willing to listen? is she understanding? etc if not it proves she does not care. you know your mom better than us. u could tell her politely to back off about the things you do. i dont politely tell my parents anything unless i am sucking them out for money then i will be polite as i can be, but thats me and my situation.
anyway, thats how i feel if anybody else doesnt like it oh well. i just call parents out for what they are and i do give support im just gonna be str8 forward and honest with it. i told my therapist everything i was str8 forward and honest not once did she criticize me for the way how i talk about my parents. not once did she tell me i didnt have a right to feel what i feel or the name calling you call your parents is immature. again, calling them out for what they are!
like i said u do need to leave only if you have the financial means and stability to do it. its better to have peace of mind when your away from your parents than to be in that environment.
Yeah, it may be the guilt. Yeah, we may feel wrong but just because you have already been able to overcome it, doesn't give you or anybody the right to criticize others if they haven't been able to yet.
Everybody is their own individual; everybody is their own experience. I respect what you are saying. My mom may not seem as the most caring person and ignorant, yeah I admit that. She is. Things happen. People change. Trauma doesn't leave the person the same. She may not want to accept her reality, but at least, I do know mine and I don't need people to come out and bang us with a hammer over our heads... if you want to help, help with your words and actions, not just with pure criticism.