Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I feel completely alone. I don't have any close friends. I'm pretty introverted. I have a lot of acquaintances but no close friends or family. My mom and one of my sisters live in the same town as me. That sister is very self-involved and wants help caring for her kids, wants me to be there for her and all of her drama but never has time for me. I help them with projects and things but never get any help in return. I've always felt like I come in last. I'm very independent and self-sufficient. I've worked multiple jobs to raise my son as I got no child support and had sole custody. I don't ask for anything from my family. I recently went through a very traumatic breakup with my boyfriend and have had a very hard time with that. My mom has been really supportive but my sisters don't ask how I am or even listen and be supportive. If I start talking about it, my self-involved sister starts talking about her ex-husband or ex-boyfriend. A few times I tried to call when I was having a hard time and I got snapped at that she was busy and could she call me back...no call back. That's only added to the hurt and isolation I feel after this breakup. I felt isolated before but really do now. I have a few friends that have been there if I've made the contact but nobody follows up with me or checks on me. I feel like nobody cares whether I'm here or not (I'm not suicidal...just feeling completely alone.)
The other option is to wait until they need you and then give them the same excuse you got from them. And you can add a subtle hint so they realize why you said no.
It's also important to be specific in what you need. Don't expect others to read your mind. If you need a babysitter then say "sis I need someone to watch xxxx for a few hours so I can do....." or "I'd like to get out of the house for a little bit, can I stop by or can we go for coffee" The more detailed you get the better chance they will say yes. If you are vague they are more likely to have an excuse.
I do feel the need to say that I am an atheist. It seems common for people to respond with words about God being on your side - which is fine. But I know that to some this is no comfort. I personally think you've taken a good first step in addressing your pain by discussing it with people who may have had similar experiences.
It sounds like you do have support from a loving mother; and although you don't get the same from your sister, it may be a situation you'll have to accept for the time-being. I really only say this because it is so common for someone to confront a loved-one about neglect , and only receive hostility in return. Not sure how much it will console you, but there more than a few people out here in Internet land who are willing to listen to you. There's no shame in trying to make connections with caring people however you can.
I hope your sister comes around, but do what you can to take care of yourself first.
I'd say to your sisters that life has gotten too busy and you really want to reconnect with them. I agree that if you confront, they may get nasty. Massage their egos a bit and see how they respond. Once you are out with them, try to plant the seed that you want more from them because you love them and need them more in your life. If they point out all you do for them, clarify and be specific with YOUR needs and what it looks like for them to be there for you.
BTW- sometimes God misses us, too... Are you like your sister with God?
Good luck and update us!
As for being specific about what I ask for, when I call sobbing I don't think I should have to say I need someone to talk to. I would think that's obvious. As for help, I don't ask for it because, other than my mom, I'd be told no. It's really more the emotional support that I really lack. I can't make them be there for me and honestly, if I had to, I'd not want to talk to them.
Thank you for your support and encouragement.