Well, how nice (sarcastic)

Just my experience, but people tend to be pretty resistant to change when it comes to their families. You can try to sit your partner down and talk to her. Or perhaps counseling would make your point.

I think it's always up to the individual to take care of 'their' family problems... I would ask your partner why don't you just say 'we'll' go or 'we' aren't able to make it

It would bother me if my partner acted as though 'we' weren't invited to family functions together.... and it would certainly bother me if I was treated disrespectfully by my partners family...

I would perhaps have a talk 'quietly when you're both relaxed and I would discuss it by 'not' attacking any member but saying... "I" feel hurt or humiliating when ...
Discussing how "you" feel as opposed to what "she" does may take the sting out of the conversation.... Big hug...xo

It's up to your partner to say to her family, "I've noticed that you do not include Sweetpea with the invite; we are a package deal. If I go, she goes."

If she's not willing to do that, you've got issues deeper than a movie, conference, or trip...

If they continue to shun you, is she prepared to remove herself from her family?

Have the offered a reason? I noticed that you are part of a bipolar group; is it you that has it? Could it be that your situation makes it difficult for them? Maybe they don't have the coping skills to deal with any swings of mood if they've been exposed to it before? Do you think your partner vents to them about the challenges and they're scared?

Just brainstorming a reason for their position, so please don't take offense...

I think Deli's post is spot on.

no its my partner who is bi polar,i have personality disorder.great combination eh lol.
her family go on about how i'm part of their family etc but they are fine as long as i'm doing what they want especially her mother. ive had a fall out with her mum basically i booked a partner a holiday that turned out to be the same week alot of her family have a holiday together at a holiday camp near us,we have dogs so it is very expensive to get a pet sitter so her mother thinks nothing of asking my partner to go and stay a couple of days plus visiting them days in their week there. ok they asked me to go for the day but when i have gone my partner just ignores me ,won't do anything with me while im there yet her family want her to join in the fun and games and shes there. anyway when her mum found out when i had booked our holiday for she told my partner i should change it so my partner could go and visit them on holiday. thing is my partner didn't defend me she and her mum was slagging me off to each other. the only thing my partner said in defence of me that i was upset because i wasn't invited on this trip abroad ,but then said i had booked our holiday the same time as theirs out of revenge and spite and off they went again slagging me off. ok i wasn't there but without going into it all i had accidently left my phone recording(been playing about it with it before i went out) they would both know how much i really needed this holiday as i lost a very close aunt last september i kept saying i needed a holiday but my partner showed no interest so i booked it myself. but also there are big problems within our relationship basically my partner hardly ever talks to me she is either 15 hours approx playing games on her pc or watching tv and im not allowed to talk. tonight she was on the phone to her niece (the rude one)chatting away a completely different person than she is with me. then once she had finished went on her pc,i hadnt seen her all day as i had been out with the upsetting task of arranging a headstone for my late aunt when i got home she was asleep on the sofa(been up all night on her pc) when she eventually woke up about 8pm i didnt get much chance to talk to her because she was then on the phone to her niece. afterwards she went on her pc. i asked her if she would come in the room to talk to me the answer i got was "what are we going to talk about?" now that answer upset me ,i told her the other day we haven't got anything in common she said we had but struggled with saying what,eventually she said aeroplanes,but the last airshow we went to she said i had to pay for us as it was me that wanted to go and then she insisted on coming home before it had finished i think we was there for about 4 and a half hours . but i feel we have nothing in common if she can't just freely chat to me,she can anyone else her friends her family but not me. even after my close aunts funeral as soon as we got back home she went straight on her pc didnt talk to me didnt even make me a coffee,when i mentioned this a few months later she said it was her way of coping. which i dont believe . everything is about her bi polar she or her family never stop to consider my mental illness . when her mum first asked my partner to drive these family members abroad my partner never said once to her what about my partner? when her niece invited her to see a film with her my partner never said what about my partner she just said yes. when again her niece invites her to another event my partner never said what about my partner. when i told her about her niece being nasty to me she said she never heard her,that should not matter,she should had took my word and said something to her niece about it. all i get is "oh you took it the wrong way" etc or "she didn't mean it like that" but wow if i say anything its "stop trashing my family" . as for sitting her down and talking to her about how all this is making me feel ive tried but she just turns it round on me.

well that didnt go well just tried having another chat and as expected she turned it round on me. saying isnt she allowed to go places on her own. so i mentioned how her niece was nasty and rude but she didnt say a word to her when i told her the excuses was "oh come on it was just one time" i said its been twice now. then "she probably didnt realize it was you she was saying it because shes probably so use to saying it to her younger sisters" .so i told her ok next time her niece says something nasty i will tell her myself,she said then i better keep away from her family if i'm going to use bullying.i just dont get nowhere trying to discuss how all this makes me feel. everytime she turns it around on me saying about me slagging her off to my brother. she read emails on my phone,forwarded then to her own pc then forwarded them to her mum and sister. but as i told her i was telling him the truth how i was worried because she stole some of my inheritance money from my bank account(our accounts online so she just transferred some of my money into her own account) basically she asked to borrow some money i said no as there was enough money in our joint account to pay the vets bills. but after we come back from the vets she insisted i had said i would lend it so i did transfer it but then she went transferring money in and out of accounts and took money from my account completely confusing me and making it very difficult with all these transferred to work it all out. so i emailed my brother who looks out for me as he said i'm a vulnerable adult and even more vulnerable after my inheritance. basically what she did was say i had took money from the joint account and she was taking it back(once she had made it confusing) i told her not to touch my money as that would be stealing but she did it anyway. so i had no option but to tell my brother as i was so worried. i never slagged her off in these emails i just told my brother the truth. anyway so everytime i bring up how she and her family make me feel she brings this up. but she knows that my brother once did say something not nice about her and i defended her(she wasnt there at the time) when i told her i also said i wanted nothing more to do with him because of it it was her told me not to fall out with him but surely that proved to her where my loyalties lie. i just can't see a way round this,i told her when i tried talking to her just now first thing i said i didnt want her turning things round on me but to just listen and understand me. to be honest i can't see things lasting much longer ,she says she loves me like the other day but i told her its easy to say but actions speak louder than words. but for now because i'm so emotionally and physically exhausted i'm going to not mention it again just carry on but withdraw emotionally away from her for my own protection after tonight ive realized i shouldn't have to fight to be treated with respect,i shouldn't have to fight for her to defend me,or fight for her to put me first once in a while. she puts nothing into our relationship just sits all day all night on her pc or watching tv.