Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I am trying really hard to break away from my unhealthy relationship,with my Mom..
LIttle history, Codependency relationship with her all my life, I told her that I needed to step back which she said "No,I need you I don't want to have anyone else helping me"..I told her at that point, I really could not handle it any longer. Well I started setting boundries which she would continually cross, and when I would let her know that what she was doing was crossing my boundries, she would get angry and tell me how awful I was and that I was always like this to her that she didn't want that kind of person in her life.. So I stepped way back but she would reach out and the cycle would start again, MInd you the cylce has gotten shorter.. So there the history..
After the holidays she started calling and saying she missed me and was looking forward to building our relationship again. Something happened it was something that I had worked for years to get and that was to be her buisness partner, well I found out she had taken a differnt route she was taken a very good friend of mine in as her partner, I called her and yes I was crying and told her that this was very very hurtful to me, and that I couldn't believe that she was doing it..Her response was that it was my fault, that I was the one who had pulled back, and that I had no right or reason to feel bad..Anything I felt was my own doing...
Do I have the right to let someone know that thier behavior is painful to me??
Will she ever undersastnd why I have boundries and that they are there to protect me from her behavior?
LIttle history, Codependency relationship with her all my life, I told her that I needed to step back which she said "No,I need you I don't want to have anyone else helping me"..I told her at that point, I really could not handle it any longer. Well I started setting boundries which she would continually cross, and when I would let her know that what she was doing was crossing my boundries, she would get angry and tell me how awful I was and that I was always like this to her that she didn't want that kind of person in her life.. So I stepped way back but she would reach out and the cycle would start again, MInd you the cylce has gotten shorter.. So there the history..
After the holidays she started calling and saying she missed me and was looking forward to building our relationship again. Something happened it was something that I had worked for years to get and that was to be her buisness partner, well I found out she had taken a differnt route she was taken a very good friend of mine in as her partner, I called her and yes I was crying and told her that this was very very hurtful to me, and that I couldn't believe that she was doing it..Her response was that it was my fault, that I was the one who had pulled back, and that I had no right or reason to feel bad..Anything I felt was my own doing...
Do I have the right to let someone know that thier behavior is painful to me??
Will she ever undersastnd why I have boundries and that they are there to protect me from her behavior?
You made your decision to distance yourself from your mother and now she is moving forward on a plan that you instigated? Do I have this right? Well it sounds as if she is manipulative and I would question if you aren't better off with her in business with someone else. Partnerships rarely last so if you can be patient you will probably see it come undone. In the meantime work on self improvement. These are just my options from the information you've provided. I know this hurts but maybe it will all work out for the best.
Carol
Ching, No, It didn't solve anything, but yes I do feel a little better, as I drew boundries, that will help protect myself from her.
When I distance myself from her I do feel much more at peace with myself more self confident and all around beter.
jsnavely, it sounds so familair, my mom roomates is a psycho and she couldn't live with out him whats they say about her, I have not stepped foot in her house in almost 2 years because of him.