Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I am currently happily married to my second husband and we have a 4 year old daughter together. My 15 year old son and 14 year old daughter from my previous marriage live with us. Their biological father does not want them.
A few days ago, my son and youngest daughter were home sick. I had to go to the office for a while and left them together at home. This is the first and last time I will ever do this. When I got home, my little girl told me that she and her brother were playing a game and she didnt like it.He had clearly told her not to tell because she hid behind the bed and whispered to me.
I could not look at my son or speak to him for days. He was away at a sleepover for some of the time this weekend. I can still barely look at him. On the day that this happened, he knew that my little girl had told me. He was overly helpful and offered to do chores, something that he never does otherwise. He called me aside and told me that his sister had sked him to touch her and that he didnt want to but that he did just to get her to leave him alone. I know that his is lying about this. I know that he knows that I know he is lying.
I told him that this was child molesting and that it was very very wrong. I told him that I would never be able to trust him near his sister again. I told him that I am sure he is going through hormonal changes and having strange feelings, etc, but that touching his sister was not NOT NOT NOT right.
I have not told anyone about what has happened. My husband will send my son away... I will lose my son... But what about the future of my daughter? Will she remember this? She acts normally around her brother, like nothing happened. What if he grows up to be a rapist or something else? I want to take care of my son, but I need to protect my daughter. We all need therapy as my family suffers from many different problems that I dont know how to handle. But therapy is not an option here in South Africa because of financial constraints. The next free psychologist appointment I can get at the govt hospital is in January 2014.
Is my daughter at risk from further abuse?
How can I help my son?
Should I tell my husband?
I have no one to talk to about this...
A few days ago, my son and youngest daughter were home sick. I had to go to the office for a while and left them together at home. This is the first and last time I will ever do this. When I got home, my little girl told me that she and her brother were playing a game and she didnt like it.He had clearly told her not to tell because she hid behind the bed and whispered to me.
I could not look at my son or speak to him for days. He was away at a sleepover for some of the time this weekend. I can still barely look at him. On the day that this happened, he knew that my little girl had told me. He was overly helpful and offered to do chores, something that he never does otherwise. He called me aside and told me that his sister had sked him to touch her and that he didnt want to but that he did just to get her to leave him alone. I know that his is lying about this. I know that he knows that I know he is lying.
I told him that this was child molesting and that it was very very wrong. I told him that I would never be able to trust him near his sister again. I told him that I am sure he is going through hormonal changes and having strange feelings, etc, but that touching his sister was not NOT NOT NOT right.
I have not told anyone about what has happened. My husband will send my son away... I will lose my son... But what about the future of my daughter? Will she remember this? She acts normally around her brother, like nothing happened. What if he grows up to be a rapist or something else? I want to take care of my son, but I need to protect my daughter. We all need therapy as my family suffers from many different problems that I dont know how to handle. But therapy is not an option here in South Africa because of financial constraints. The next free psychologist appointment I can get at the govt hospital is in January 2014.
Is my daughter at risk from further abuse?
How can I help my son?
Should I tell my husband?
I have no one to talk to about this...
Take it from a survivor of family and non-family member sexual abuse. This can damage her views on everything, including men later in life. I was never taken to a therapist and no one said it was wrong or that they were sorry, I am strong but still bear the scars to this day.
Please protect your daughter; you need to do everything in your power to keep her safe. It will be difficult but you are not alone, there are wonderful people here to help you through this event.
Listen to AsTime, they know what they are talking about.
How's it going Nol?