Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives, friends and caretakers of cancer patients. It's difficult to find a safe place to talk about caring for a loved one with cancer, and so this group serves as an open forum to foster positivity and support for those going through this tough time.
My mom drives me crazy. Whenever she talks about Sam's prostate cancer she makes it sound like he has the flu. The truth is that it's pretty bad what I can understand at least. Since my mom is my only source of information in this it's kinda confusing. Is she just in denial? Denial that he can acctually die. To her it's not IF he gets better it's WHEN he gets better. But there is an if. No guarantee's. Sure we have to think positive and I would never say the stuff I say to my mom to Sam but there is an IF. And instead of living in her denialuniverse I rather prepare myself. I hope and pray with all my heart that he'll be fine but he might not be fine. Cancer is a serious disease. I know prostate cancer is one of the most treatable but people still die from it. My grandpa for example.
So instead of letting myself live in a univerese with pink fluffy clouds where everything is fine and then risk to fall to the ground in 500 mph I rather keep my feet at least close to the ground and accept the unacceptable alternative. Why can't she let me do that?
If she wanna live in pink fluffy land that's fine but don't try to drag me along.
So instead of letting myself live in a univerese with pink fluffy clouds where everything is fine and then risk to fall to the ground in 500 mph I rather keep my feet at least close to the ground and accept the unacceptable alternative. Why can't she let me do that?
If she wanna live in pink fluffy land that's fine but don't try to drag me along.
when someone gets diagnosed this....it's very hard on the family and friends...no matter what type of cancer it is.....
everyone handles it differently...let her deal with it in her own way...there is no right or wrong way .....
I do realize that everybody has to be able to deal with things like this in their own way. And of all in my family I think this is hardest for my mom who have known Sam the longest. But my problem isn't that she's seems to be in denial. The problem is that she wants me to be in denial too. And I just don't work that way. It makes it kinda hard to handle this so differently cause my MOm is the only person I can talk to about this. So while I need to talk about my fears of what can happend she needs to not think about what can happend. So whenever I mention that Im scared for Sam the only answer I get is "Ofcourse he'll be fine". Which is not very helpful. I also realize that I have to respect that she don't want to talk about it, it's just so frustrating.
she is handling it the best way she knows how to...which may not agree with how you handle it
its very difficult to go through this...she doesnt want to face the reality of what may happen ...so she says he'll be ok.....let her think that way...this is how SHE is coping with it
A Caring Friend, and someone who truly understands,
Lana
Sugarkay has a very good point...WHo will support YOU...IF Sam takes a turn for the worse ?
I too have lost several friends and family to this monster...and then I end up having it too....
********* its very hard for people who DONT have cancer...to understand those of us who DO...it's hard for me to hear someone tell me...that " they understand how I feel "...how could you....unless you have had it yourself ? ***********
you can show concern and care and love.....a lot of times that ' C " word is a death sentence...not always...depends on the kind you have.....it CAN be beat...depends on a lot of things....
speaking from someone who has it right now....my hugs go out to everyone who is dealing with this monster.....
it changed my life....
I just wanted to say I would love to be here for you as well. It literally ripped out my heart when my best friend died. The one special thing that I will cherish and remember for the rest of my life is I was able to lie next to her on the hospital bed, and she died in my arms. She was one amazing woman, and there are times I feel her with me. Anyway, I thought the advice you gave Manito was very helpful, and you understood where she is coming from. I also admired how you said people can't truly know how you feel unless they are going through what you are. What really gets to me is when people first find out you have cancer, and automatically they think you are going to die, and you shouldn't bother to fight for your life. I hated that when they said things like that to Sherry. I knew there wasn't any way she would give up, and that I wouldn't give up on her, and it felt great to know I was there for her until the end. I miss her like hell though. Ok, tears are starting to run down my cheeks. I just wanted to write you, and let you know if you need an extra friend to talk to; it would be my pleasure. I am sorry that you have skin cancer, but I am not going to tell you I understand how you, yourself feels, but I can say you have a pretty great attitude, and people could learn a lot from you. I know I have just reading your post.
Take care and I hope to hear from you soon, and that I get a chance to get to know you better,
Lana
I do understand that my mom has to be able to handle it her way but I also do feel a "but what about me" screaming inside even if that might be selfish.
I am so sorry for both of ur losses. I do agree with sugarkay that u seem to have a good attitude Goof and I also think that is very important. Important to not give up no matter what people are saying.
I have not at all given up on Sam. Im not sure he's gonna die. But the possibility is enough for me.
I will keep u both in my prayers. thanks