Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives, friends and caretakers of cancer patients. It's difficult to find a safe place to talk about caring for a loved one with cancer, and so this group serves as an open forum to foster positivity and support for those going through this tough time.
This is Lisa's Story.
Everyone has a best friend, one who you feel a bond like siblings with. And every best friend has parents.
My best friend's name is Dannielle, and her mother's name is Lisa. My own father passed away when I was 7, the same year I met Dee...and when my own mother struggled to raise 4 kids as a single parent, Lisa became my second mother. I spent almost every weekend at their house...I cried about the first boyfriend I lost in front of Lisa, hugged her after I got that 'A' on that report I had worked on.
Nine years ago, when Dee and I were 14, Lisa was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She did chemo, lost her hair, lost alot of weight, but never lost her spirit. They removed her ovaries, her uterus, and after the chemo told her they didn't see andy cancer on her cervix.
Three years later, when we were 18, she was diagnosed with bowel cancer. The chemo and radiation started again. When she lost all her hair, she hired somone to airbrush an eightball on her head. We all laughed and cried about it. Once again she was high spirited.
Earlier this year she recieved her 5 year cancer free badge. I was over at her house and she was showing it to me when she got the phone call. They had reveiwed her tests again and they thought that she may have cancerous spots on her bowels again. Could she come back in?
She has cancer on her bowels, they think it's on her liver but they aren't 100% sure, and she has it on 3 vertabrae on her spine.
Lisa is paralyzed from the waist down. They don't think she can make it past this time. They told us they don't even know if she will make it to Christmas. She will live the rest of her life in the hospital now.
Dee is pregnant. She has 8 weeks left, and people keep telling her that her mother is just hanging on to see her grandson born. Dee feels terrible
Not only because she is losing her mother, but because she is scared to birth her child and lose her mother. She cries every night, the stress on the baby is dangerous but how can she cut down on stress when her mother is wasting away.
I cry for Lisa often, I had a daughter 3 months ago, and Lisa has been in the hospital in a city hours away since Marlow was born. I want her to meet her grand daughter before she passes.
They are transfering her here right away. To make her closer to her family for the end. I'm so torn.
I just wanted to get this out. Nowhere is there a tribute to the wonderful woman Lisa is, to what the cancer is taking away. Her legacy will only live on in us...and that makes me cry even harder.
Everyone has a best friend, one who you feel a bond like siblings with. And every best friend has parents.
My best friend's name is Dannielle, and her mother's name is Lisa. My own father passed away when I was 7, the same year I met Dee...and when my own mother struggled to raise 4 kids as a single parent, Lisa became my second mother. I spent almost every weekend at their house...I cried about the first boyfriend I lost in front of Lisa, hugged her after I got that 'A' on that report I had worked on.
Nine years ago, when Dee and I were 14, Lisa was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She did chemo, lost her hair, lost alot of weight, but never lost her spirit. They removed her ovaries, her uterus, and after the chemo told her they didn't see andy cancer on her cervix.
Three years later, when we were 18, she was diagnosed with bowel cancer. The chemo and radiation started again. When she lost all her hair, she hired somone to airbrush an eightball on her head. We all laughed and cried about it. Once again she was high spirited.
Earlier this year she recieved her 5 year cancer free badge. I was over at her house and she was showing it to me when she got the phone call. They had reveiwed her tests again and they thought that she may have cancerous spots on her bowels again. Could she come back in?
She has cancer on her bowels, they think it's on her liver but they aren't 100% sure, and she has it on 3 vertabrae on her spine.
Lisa is paralyzed from the waist down. They don't think she can make it past this time. They told us they don't even know if she will make it to Christmas. She will live the rest of her life in the hospital now.
Dee is pregnant. She has 8 weeks left, and people keep telling her that her mother is just hanging on to see her grandson born. Dee feels terrible
Not only because she is losing her mother, but because she is scared to birth her child and lose her mother. She cries every night, the stress on the baby is dangerous but how can she cut down on stress when her mother is wasting away.
I cry for Lisa often, I had a daughter 3 months ago, and Lisa has been in the hospital in a city hours away since Marlow was born. I want her to meet her grand daughter before she passes.
They are transfering her here right away. To make her closer to her family for the end. I'm so torn.
I just wanted to get this out. Nowhere is there a tribute to the wonderful woman Lisa is, to what the cancer is taking away. Her legacy will only live on in us...and that makes me cry even harder.
I wonder if I did the right thing by going to say my silent goodbyes. The lady in the bed wasn't Lisa.
She has been having what the doctors are calling 'bouts'. She had one when I was there. It's like, she's delusional. She says things that make no sense.
She tells Dee that she will be better, she will walk again, that she will see her son's get married. She knows these things because she can see into the future now. This doesn't make sense. But then she say's things that are accurate. Like three day's ago she told Dee that her brother was going to find a lump on his arm, and today he did!
But she was just a shell. She saw me and smiled and asked if I was taking Dee's babies so that she could talk some sense into Dee. But then she asked me why I just had the two girls...why wasn't I taking Lucas too. Lucas is the unborn son in Dee's belly.
Dee has started sleeping at the hospital. She barley eats. Her brothers have taken up heavy drinking to deal with the impending loss of their mother.
I am so tired. Her kids are not taking this well. They only know that grandma is sick and can't go home. And they act out constantly. That and my own three month old daughter are causing me serious exhaustion. But Dee has no one else to watch her kids.
Her husband is provinces away for work, but he should be home tomorrow night. Should be.
I'm so lost. Lisa will never get to meet my daughter. When I went to see her today she asked about my little girl. She couldn't remember her name, but she knew she had never seen her. I just don't know if I should bring Marlow to see Lisa, not with Lisa like this.
Are these delusions normal?? When she has these fits she screams and yells. Tells the nurses she refuses treatment. They told Dee today they think Lisa may have a tumor in her brain, that may be what is causing these things to happen.
I'm so lost. My own fiancee doesn't understand why I am upset and he refuses to offer sympathy. I can't believe he's being so insensitive, and it doesn't help with the tears.
Christmas is definitley going to be different this year.
Have her kids had any counselling? It may not help. But at least they could have someone to talk to outside the situation. We have a charity called Childline in the UK which kids can call if they need someone to talk to, don't know what the equivalent is in Canada. Cancer charities could really help you all out but it is especially important for the kids. Most of them produce booklets and can give advice on how to address this difficult topic with children and how best to support them.
The progression of the cancer has gone insane. They did a scan and she has no brain tumor. However, she has cancer in T5, T6, T7, T8 and part of T9 in her spine. She has cancer in her bowels, 12 spots on her liver, compared to the 3 spots there were 3 months ago, and a patch the size of a fist on her lungs.
She goes through the bouts more often. She has started to tell people that she is going crazy, because she knows when she is having a fit she just doesnt know how to stop them.