Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives, friends and caretakers of cancer patients. It's difficult to find a safe place to talk about caring for a loved one with cancer, and so this group serves as an open forum to foster positivity and support for those going through this tough time.
So yesterday I found out from my mom that one of our relatives have prostate cancer. He got diagnosed in March. First of all, okay I live thousands of miles away ( Im from sweden) but he got diagnosed in march and she tells me this NOW? 9 months later. You dont "forget" to tell a person something like that.
Anyway. My real big issue here is well the cancer but what really makes me mad is Swedish Healthcare.
Okay so again he got diagnosed in march. Guess how long he had to wait for surgery? SEPTEMBER. Thats 6 months. When he finally got there the cancer had gone to far so surgery was not an option so now hes on chemo. Congrats. Okay so I hear that the most important thing when it comes to cancer is to discover it early. Well how does it help to discover it early when you dont get much of treatment. I dont know all the facts maybe he was on meds or something but appearently that didnt help. How can you let a person with a deadly sickness wait for 6 months? My mom had told him to call them and nag them to be able to get in but why should he have to??
Anyway. Im gonna stop rambling and come to my question.
Is it like this here to? Are peope made to wait for months to get the right treatment when it comes to cancer and other fatal diseases. I bet it is in some ways but... Ugh.
I just wanna tell you. That all the coments I get on that we have free healthcare in Sweden and how great it is.
Its not free but we dont pay near as much as you guys. We also have very high taxes which Im willing to pay for good cheap healthcare.
But I rather pay more and not have to wait 6 months to get my cancer removed. Im happy we got cheap healtcare for everyone who needs it and it should be that way. But if that means that the healthcare have to suck...
Maybe those who are able to should pay a little more or something.
Its unreasonable that you should have to walk around with a lifethreatning thing in your body for months when there is something that can be done.
He might be fine I dont know. But to me it sounds like his chances got kinda redused. And even if he might be fine maybe the next person wont be.
Sorry just needed to vent. Im sorry Im so dramatic its not like its my dad or something. But it hurts anyway.
Anyway so my question is. Does people have to wait so damn long for surgery here too?
Anyway. My real big issue here is well the cancer but what really makes me mad is Swedish Healthcare.
Okay so again he got diagnosed in march. Guess how long he had to wait for surgery? SEPTEMBER. Thats 6 months. When he finally got there the cancer had gone to far so surgery was not an option so now hes on chemo. Congrats. Okay so I hear that the most important thing when it comes to cancer is to discover it early. Well how does it help to discover it early when you dont get much of treatment. I dont know all the facts maybe he was on meds or something but appearently that didnt help. How can you let a person with a deadly sickness wait for 6 months? My mom had told him to call them and nag them to be able to get in but why should he have to??
Anyway. Im gonna stop rambling and come to my question.
Is it like this here to? Are peope made to wait for months to get the right treatment when it comes to cancer and other fatal diseases. I bet it is in some ways but... Ugh.
I just wanna tell you. That all the coments I get on that we have free healthcare in Sweden and how great it is.
Its not free but we dont pay near as much as you guys. We also have very high taxes which Im willing to pay for good cheap healthcare.
But I rather pay more and not have to wait 6 months to get my cancer removed. Im happy we got cheap healtcare for everyone who needs it and it should be that way. But if that means that the healthcare have to suck...
Maybe those who are able to should pay a little more or something.
Its unreasonable that you should have to walk around with a lifethreatning thing in your body for months when there is something that can be done.
He might be fine I dont know. But to me it sounds like his chances got kinda redused. And even if he might be fine maybe the next person wont be.
Sorry just needed to vent. Im sorry Im so dramatic its not like its my dad or something. But it hurts anyway.
Anyway so my question is. Does people have to wait so damn long for surgery here too?
You know there is people who get a "you have xxx months to live" and are totally fine yet today. I really hope he gets the remission.
Yes Im very frustrated, I dont have many details but I just....ugh I so wanna sure the hospital but its not like I have any money.
It all just sucks! I mean everybody know that the key to cure cancer is to find it early. But when they do they cant let the patients wait! It shouldnt be. My relatives biggest chance was surgery! And now he cant get it cause they fucked up. They are supposed to save lives not risk them!!
Manito, thank you for your good wishes for my dad. My thoughts and prayers are with your family, as well, with what you are going through with your relative. I said uncle earlier, but when I re-read your post, you never said who the relative was. I apologize for the error. No matter who the family member, it is still a shock when you are told they have cancer. I do know there are some really great doctors and nurses out there who work with cancer patients. I have seen several of these angels. The health care system, itself, is too full of red-tape and more concerned, it would seem, about the bottom line, when it's primary focus should be the patients and getting them the best health care in a timely manner and not drag their feet. I have felt at times that the VA hospital is just waiting for my dad to die before they take any action. I know this is not true, but when you are going through it, it sure feels that way.
My prayers are with both of your families as you all struggle to cope with cancer and it's affects. Praying comfort for you and your family, Alice! I am so sorry at how little time you had with your husband after his diagnosis.
Alice, though my husband has not small cell lung cancer it has already spread. The things you said in your reply could be me talking. I so understand what you're saying. GatorsGirl already talked about that with her dad. I'm adding my prayers to my daughter's for you to feel God's awesome peace that passes all understanding. After reading your reply I feel really blessed to still have my husband. My heart goes out to you.
Manito, people at the VA sure have to wait for way too long for surgery or any kind of help. My experience with regular hospitals (for my health) has been pretty good. The VA says the veteran comes first with them but it doesn't seem to be the case with all that work there. I'm praying for your relative ~ also praying for you. And venting does help!!
Its okay gators girl. No hes not my uncle and to be true hes not even my relative I dont know why I wrote that. Not by blod anyway. But he would as well be. He feels like an uncle. Ive known him my whole life and hes a close friend to my mom who has known him since she was very little. Its just unreal. Hes not the first in my life with cancer, both my grandparents on my dads side died of cancer but somehow it was different. They were in their 80s. I dont think Sam is even 60. And now I sound like hes already dead. Hes not. He still have a good chance but I am just so freaked out. And if Im freaked how shouldnt he feel. Truth is I have no idea how good chance he got. I know nothing more then that he has cancer and that they wont do surgery cause they waited to damn long. now im just rambling.
His cancer, small cell, was "discovered" March 11. In spite of radiation and chemo from a very caring and well respected oncology team, he passed October 30.
There is only so much the doctors can do. Truly. They are so limited when it comes to certain types of cancers.
I realize that it is not the doctors, or the health care system, or anyone's fault. It is the horrid disease. Until there is a cure, the treatments can only go so far. Unfortunately. Some types just cannot be cured, no matter how "early" they are found. Of course, there are always miracles. I pray for one in your cases.
I do realise that some cancers are incureable and that is not anyone's fault. But in my friends case. Prostate cancer is cureable. And atleast in my world it is the healthcare's system's fault, im not blaming any particular doctor here, that some people with cancer have to wait for months and months to get the treatment they need. Sam (friend) needed surgery. But since they made him wait for 6 months and when he finally got called in they said that now all of a sudden surgery was to complicated. Maybe if they had gotten him to surgery faster they would've been able to do the surgery which was his best option. I do know that just because he didn't get surgery means he's gonna die. But it feels like they reduced his chances. I do realise that in some cases even with cureable cancers it doesn't always end happy and it's not the doctors fault. But it is however their fault if they don't do everything they can. And I feel like that right now. They're not. Or atleast wasn't when they made him wait so damn long for a surgery that could determind his future. Even if surgery doesn't give any garantees.
Thanks for your prayers they mean a lot. I pray that you and your family will have the strenght to get through this hard time.
I know how it is to lose a loved one.
Yes, there are a lot of cancers, sadly, like your dear husband's that are incurable and inoperable. My dad's cancer is not small cell, which is operable. The oncologist actually told my dad that if he had gotten in right away as soon as the tumor on his lung showed up in his chest xray - last year in November - for more tests his chances of having the cancer cured through surgery, chemo and or radiation were excellent. Due to errors and my dad not even being notified until months later that there was a spot on his lung and then more errors on the part of the hospital in scheduling his tests and appointments, yes the doctors ARE partly responsible in his case for the fact that his cancer is now incurable. The oncologist admitted this. My dad did everything he could to get in for the tests that they wanted him to have only to be met with incompetence, lack of proper communication and plain old being ignored by medical staff. He is a vet and goes to a VA hospital to receive his care - he is retired and can't afford anything else. I know there is only so much the doctors can do. They are only human. Unfortunately they also make mistakes, which at times cost people their lives. And that is negligent on their part, making curable cancer incurable because they dragged their feet too long. At the same time, we have met some absolutely wonderful, caring and compassionate doctors and nurses who are right on top of things and know the hassle my dad has gone through during this. They have been so encouraging and incredible.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your husband had wonderful doctors and I don't mean to sound so negative on medical professionals. I just needed to vent about our situation. Every situation is different. But I do have to agree with you - sometimes even doing everything possible isn't enough. Please know you will be in my prayers.