Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Hi All,
I need some advice. I am 30 years old and my father is bipolar. He most likely has personality disorder as well. His moods are so bad that he often verbally abuses me and tends to "push, pull" with me and one minute begs me to answer the phone and demands my support, but then the next minute pushes me away and claims I am against him and don't care about him. He definitely exhibits symptoms of paranoia as he tends to think the whole world is against him. He has always had a thing with me about respect and my attitude and that I disrespect him by laughing at things he does or doubting his intelligence. I know this is not the case but he has gotten so worked up about it to the point that he is not threating our relationship. He was sending me emails today saying that our relationship won't be the same if I can't take responsibility or admit that I am wrong and disrespecting him. For years and years I have gone along with most of the things he accuses me of in order to keep the peace, even though I know they aren't true. I am a great daughter and I have done A LOT for him over the years due to his disease. I am at the end of my rope and now that I have been defending myself and setting boundaries with him he can't seem to accept it and like I mentioned, is threatning our relationship. I'm not ready to give up on having a dad, but I also can't keep going along with his accusations. I can't take blame for things I know are not true about myself just to appease him.
Any advice on how to handle this? How can I defend myself and set boundaries for his abuse while not losing the relationship we have all together?
Thanks in advance,
Nicole
I find it extremely difficult to set boundaries. Not sure if that's my personality, or growing up with a bipolar single parent.
I find that it's important to take care with tone and wording. "This is how I feel" keeping things centered on myself so that its not accusatory.
But you do have the right to take care of yourself! You have the right to accept and not accept behavior from others. Responses like "that was hurtful" or even not responding?
There is a lot of insecurity, and paranoia with no though, so not responding might not be helpful.
Usually, giving them time to cool off and think logically helps