Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
Hi Everyone, My husband is having another episode and I really can't take it anymore. I know I am suppose to be supportive, but I find I don't have the strength anymore. He loses his temper at everything, and I just can't take it anymore. I am so tired. I work all day, and try really hard not to fight back with my husband, but he makes it so difficult. He berates me. Tells me how stupid I am and incompetent I am. He slams things around and threatens me. He tells me he can't lose an argument and that I just need to shut up. He gets mad when I walk away. He always thinks he is right about everything. When something gets him going I have to hear a 20 minute lecture, Well tonight I am just tired. I told him off. I said I am treated like a dog and not a person. I yelled back how he can say anything he wants, but I not allowed. I am not allowed to have any feeling and he tells me how he can't control this and I should just accept it. I find it really hard that he doesn't realize he is doing this, and no he does not take meds and he won't. He tried in the past and it didn't work. We have a son that this has effected. My son hates when I fight back because it is very horrible in the house afterwards. I sometimes get so angry myself because of the way he treats me. I want to feel like a person. I am very lonely and have nobody to talk to. He talks to me with whatever he wants to. I miss the man he use to be. Kind, loving and I don't know what happened to that person. He only comes out once in a while. Most of the time he is so angry. We are suppose to go on vacation next week and I don't want to go. I really don't want to go. Sorry to vent and want to thank you for letting me.
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
I'm just wondering how much of this is bipolar and how much is just being mean.
No he is not on any meds and won't go for help because we don't have health insurance.
Re treatment you can get lithium for as low as $4 a script I understand.
I'm in the Uk so I don't have any healthcare access issues - but you may find this thread helpful
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bipolar_Disorder/advice/8224882-advice-link-free-health
You deserve to be treated with respect...
People can certainly become very irritable when in an episode however usually we do what we need to in order to get things under control and find stability as quickly as possible..
He's choosing not to do this if it is in fact bipolar
Quite frankly he sounds like a bully to me
Yep, he's ill, but with much more than BP, in my opinion ive been there, done that, went and got some help for ME, and detached .. completely. 'He' was too proud to get help. Was his way, only. I lost myself in that process, and became very emotionally unstable. (I also have bipolar).
Seems like there's more than a few men with issues of that caliber. Throw in an enabling caretaker such as me, and it makes for a big mess. I drug my children through that.... made for a bigger mess.
I'm slowly recovering... in counseling, etc. I couldn't make him well. I couldn't encourage he seek help without an adult temper tantrum to follow. I finally had to take care of ME.
& insecure self styled "long suffering" partner who always fell back on.the argument that he was ill & I was being insensitive if he ever got.shown up as wrong or a liar. Now he claimed to suffer from severe depression rather than bipolar, but his excuses & abusive attitude are.eerily familiar. If you are being pushed onto questioning your own self worth & constantly made to feel like you are the one ay fault & if only you were a better more understanding person everything would be ok.again then I would suggest the problem lies with the insecure, paranoid other half.not you. Anyone who.seeks to validate their own controlling & self.serving behaviour by guilt tripping you into thinking they're ill & you're insensitive rather than accepting & acknowledging their own faults needs help. You do not need to.change yourself & are almost certainly doing way more than your share already. I finally broke from my abusive paranoid partner & am with a bipolar bloke who has issues but has never tried to make me feel responsible or guilty for his illness & accepts full responsibility for his sometimes weird or accidentally hurtful behaviour. Don't fall into the same trap I.did & spend years trying go change yourself & become a different more understanding more agreeable person & sacrificing your own self.worth for their sake. You cannot help.anyone else if you are made to feel constantly insecure & worthless. You have to nurture & protect your own sanity before you can try & take responsibility for anyone else's soul....
Should those fail, look on alanon's website for a group in your area at:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings
Although al-anon is for spouses of alchoholics, you will learn alot about how to deal with behaviours of abusive spouses.
Let there be no doubt in your mind that he is emotionally abusing you. And it is not excusable for him being BP or any other reason.
If you need help, message me. I am glad to help in anyway I can.