Of course, every incoming letter is opened and checked for contraband. I am sure they don't read every letter word-for-word, but they do scan them, so you have to be careful what you write.

Outgoing mail is rarely opened unless the inmate is under investigation.

If prison is worried about anything, it is worried about security. Anything that might compromise the security of the prison or cause problems within the inmate population must be avoided. Don't dare mention anything about an escape or an uprising. ha ha Also don't write about any other criminal activity in there. I know you won't, but I had some buddies that got busted for running a gambling scheme from prison and they were caught by incoming letters being read.

Other than that, just share your everyday life with him----what you do, what went on that was funny, how things are going out here. For the most part, keep it light. Inmates like happy and uncomplicated mail from the outside; they don't like drama or problems over which they have no control.

I admire you for writing this young man. Prison for a sex offender can be a very lonely place, but it is doable.

God Bless you and your SIL,

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Also, always give him hope. Not a lot of false hope, but hopeful expectations for his future.

Tell him you love him in every letter and cannot wait for the day of release. The horror that all inmates have is that they will be forgotten by the outside world and that their life means nothing to anyone.

Tell him that is not so.

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do not mention any of his charges in any letter.

you can print off and send him almost any story of interest that you find online and jokes as long as they are not sexual in any way or form whatsoever.

i have sent my daughter pictures of cabins in the woods, mountain scenes, a halloween pumpkin with a kitten. i have a couple that i am gonna send for x-mas too that i have saved to my desktop. one is a pic of charlie brown's x-mas tree and another is of a x-mas tree that she will be able to use colored pencils and color in.

i have also sent her photos that i took and had printed off of us and a couple of the Pomeranian i bought for her last summer. i took sheets of colored construction paper and traced my hands on plus her brother, his girlfriend and my grandson did the same. we all signed them. i will cut them out and mail them to her this week. i need to find a pic of a bear giving a hug to send to her too.

and yes, writers block does happen. it's easier if you write a little each day of what goes on, gets done or even what your thinking.

How close were you before incarceration? I would just write normally like the conversations that you both had before he was locked up. Just ramblings here and there, stupid Thoughts that cross your mind.

Talk about the day to day stuff...try and not talk about the case just for his safety.
If he is into sports talk about that they do like to know whats going on when I write to my love (we do daily and have done for four years) we talk about everything from whats going on at work with family and our mates we also talk about movies tv shows, what dvds are coming out that sort of stuff.
I hope thats a bit of help...the writer block happens to both of us from time to time we just strach those letters over a few days when that happens.

Since you're an adult this probably wouldn't apply to you, but my daughter has written to my husband and drew a birthday card for him...he never got it. They flagged it because it was drawn with marker and crayon. She also sent him a sticker that they wouldn't give to him (of a my little pony character that she loves). Someone told him that she can send him stickers if they are on the paper but he can't have them if they are loose.
Besides that, just write whats going on in your life. Keep it simple. I tell my husband all the time that my letters must bore him to tears because I write to him every night before I go to bed, sometimes its just 2 lines (kids are fine, dog is a pain, I'm tired) but he says they make his day when he gets them. If you do what I do its not so forced (you don't have to write every day) just write a little bit here and there and then send them all together so he has something substantial to read.
Any connection with the outside world is like gold to them. You can probably write the lyrics to song (as long as it's not a cop killer song, ha ha) and send it to him and he'd be over the moon. Just knowing someone outside cares about him to take the time to write him will be enough.

Sometimes when I can't think of anything to say, I'll send pictures of hobby interests that I've pulled off the web. For instance, my guy likes dragons, so I'll find pictures or drawings of dragons that reflect holidays or seasons of the year or activities that will make him laugh.

Don't ever underestimate the power of those letters. They are like solid gold to inmates in prison.

Mail call is always the highlight of the day in prison. I don't know how many times I have seen an inmate grinning from ear to ear after he has received a letter. And of course, there is the sadness of the inmates looking---and desperately hoping---for a letter, any letter, that never comes.

The best thing about letters is that an inmate can read it, then read it again, and re-read it many times. When he is down---and that is often in prison---he can go to his locker, fetch a letter from someone he loves and cares about, and cheer himself up. Phone calls and visits are nice, but once they are over, they are gone. Not so with letters.

Most prison letters are read so many times that they are beginning to wear out along the edges.

Letters are a way of letting the inmate know that not everyone has forgotten him and that someone has cared enough to take the time, write a letter, put a stamp on the envelope and mail it. It reassures the inmate that yes, there is a future for him and all is well.

Never underestimate the power of your letter.

So, mother, wives, and family members, just write. Write about your daily lives. It does not have to be anything earth-shaking or significant. Just share your lives with an inmate who has a miserable existence.

You both will be better off for it.

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Thanks for all your replies. It has given me good ideas. I sent some pix and some local news stuff. Every letter i tell him i am thinking of him and love him. He writes back thanking me so much for everything i have done for him and his family. Its like why is he thanking me? I thank him for making my daughter so happy. I thank him for being a good man. I thank him for who he is. I think hes a little surprised that i stood by his side throughout this ordeal. All i did was help his family through the process. I was glad to help.

Don't know if this will help, or if I'm just lucky. I can't write a lot so I sent the funny papers with the crosswords and write comments on stickie notes. I have several books on topics he likes and send chapters at a time. I take pix of things in my daily life w/ my cell, then print them out. I get books of word finds at the $ Store and send pages. He likes to draw so I send pages of funny things and blank paper. If I come across something i know might interest a buddy, I'll stick that in. He enjoys newspaper articles of local happenings. I got a printer/copier for less than $100 from WalMart and sit down Sat morn and just stuff an envelope. Another tip; I found a post office that has a 24/7 kiosk in the lobby. This way I can weigh it and pay w/ my debit card at any time and it's very private too.

Now that my son is settled in a federal prison and has email rights we email pretty much all day back and forth. So I tell him things everyday. Now we write once a week to each other (sometimes more). Once a week I send him a "manila" as we call it. I print things all week for him of interest and set aside for the "manila". He will ask for certain subjects like football or wrestling articles and I print stuff from news sites or local town articles I think he would be interested in. I try to keep him in touch with the "outside" world as we know it. They might see something on the news but don't know the details. I send him new book releases because he reads everyday. He also asks me for stuff for other inmates who have no one to make copies, look up stuff, etc. By the end of the week, the manila is jam packed! He loves going through it for days on end. He tells me he reads everything and passes a lot on.
Just some ideas!!

I can't wait for the day my son is settled into a federal facility. Where he is now, you can't send crossword puzzle books, pages, newspaper articles, etc. It sucks!

DEBBIEO403, Could you tell me how much it costs to email?

Debbie0403..I wish there was a LIKE button on this forum. I'd click it for your reply #11. I'd also click LIKE for the others who have described what they send their loved ones in prison.

I have two sons in state prisons, in two different states. My older son can send and receive emails, so we do that pretty often. I also send him things in envelopes. My younger son can only receive emails, but can't send them out,

Debbie0403..I wish there was a LIKE button on this forum. I'd click it for your reply #11. I'd also click LIKE for the others who have described what they send their loved ones in prison.

I have two sons in state prisons, in two different states. My older son can send and receive emails, so we do that pretty often. I also send him things in envelopes. My younger son can only receive emails, but can't send them out, so he calls me twice a week. I always take notes of our conversations and put a star by anything we discuss that requires further action from me. I have saved on my computer every communication I've sent to them and have saved the paper originals of every letter or card they've sent to me.

I look things up on the Internet for both of them pretty often, especially books and magazines I can order for them on Amazon.com. If it's cheaper to print several pages and put them in one big envelope, I'll do that. Otherwise, I will send emails.

Both sons have asked me to do Internet research on some pretty deep topics...such as various things related to physics, psychology, mathematics, and astronomy. In the process, I've learned a few things, but mostly I don't have time to read all the stuff I send them. I'm just amazed they both like to learn about such deep topics.

I purchased an electronic postage scale, so I can weigh my envelopes at home and not have to make a trip to the post office. I also have a printer, of course, and I keep paper, 9 x 12 envelopes, and stamps on hand at all times.

Some of the magazine titles I've ordered for my sons are Psychology Today, Muscle and Fitness, Yoga Journal, Discovery Magazine, Esquire, and a few others I can't remember now. I use a web site called www.inmatemagazineservice.com. They usually have very good prices. You have to know the inmate's DOC number and address, because the magazines are sent directly to the prison.

Neither of my sons is allowed to receive blank paper, blank envelopes, or stamps from the outside, but they can purchase them from the canteen. I put money on their canteen accounts on a regular basis. They can transfer some of that money to their phone accounts. I also have to keep my own phone account funded.

I don't own a car, because I can't afford one, with all the money I spend on my sons. But, I'm happy, because I moved to a tiny apartment near the downtown area of my city and I can walk or take the bus to most places I need to go.

Westdenali, I admire you for your commitment to your SIL. You're my hero (or heroine, as the case may be), as is every other person who supports a loved one or friend in prison, especially if that person has a sex offense conviction.